


Between 29th and Astoria

by Mangoyogurt



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Boss/Employee Relationship, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, New York City, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2019-07-01 15:45:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 38
Words: 75,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15777132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mangoyogurt/pseuds/Mangoyogurt
Summary: First Order Enterprises profits on war mongering, but that's really none of your business. As long as you keep your head down as secretary to Mr. Ren, you can continue collecting paychecks in blissful ignorance. Unfortunately, your perplexing boss has other plans in store - none of which involve peace or quiet.This is the Friends meets Devil Wears Prada fic nobody asked for.





	1. An Introduction To Forget

**Author's Note:**

> I really shouldn't be starting another fic, but I'm not exactly known for making good life decisions. I'm going through a bout of missing a time when I called New York City home, so this is really just a self-indulgent fic to soothe my heart. I hope you get some enjoyment out of my little story though!

This wasn’t you. Perhaps you had hit your head and fallen into an alternate dimension. Yet, mirrors never lie, right? You silently stared at your reflection in awe and trepidation. You’d never looked so severe in your life, but you figured that came with the job description of a secretary for a weapons slash intelligence slash some type of war mongering enterprise. All you knew was that they would pay you a lot of money to not ask questions and maintain the schedule of your new boss.

So here you were: fresh faced and feeling like a total imposter while hiding in the bathroom before meeting with HR. The uniform was straightforward, if not a little stuffy and monotonous. There wasn’t much humor to be had in this field, so you weren’t exactly surprised. Stilettos were to be exactly three inches tall. Pencil skirts must end a single inch above the knee, and even neckline depths were regulated. During orientation you heard a whisper that the harsh guidelines weren’t even company policy. It was your cryptic boss who held these insane standards. 

You internally scoffed that he was probably some old geezer setting sexist standards while looking boorish himself. 

Tucking a stray hair behind your ear, you took one last deep breath before jumping into the water. It was time to sink or swim. There were murmurs that First Order was a relentless and difficult job regardless of which position one held. You were in desperate need of the money though, and if measuring cuff lengths would keep the paychecks rolling in, then that was exactly what you’d do. 

Just survive until your student loans were paid, and then you could go off and find a “real” job in a dream field. Yes. That would be the mantra. 

Your reflection nodded once with conviction before you pushed the door open and stepped back into reality. Rows upon rows of cubicles gave the space a stale feeling - almost as if all of the employees were drones. Faceless individuals plugging away at their desks all dressed in similar suits of grey and black. Who needed a personality if you’d get paid handsomely, right? 

The sound of your heels clacking accompanied the walk to a corner office. A silver plaque reading “Phasma” sat in the middle of the door. You gave two tentative knocks before a female voice called for you to enter. 

An impossibly tall blonde woman was standing by her desk. You moved to shake her hand with a timid, “Hello, Miss - uh - Phasma.” Smiling at your shyness, the woman replied, “Please, drop the ‘miss’. It sounds ridiculous with my last name.” Phasma waited for your confirmation before grabbing a manila folder by the desk. She immediately set off at a fast pace and you scrambled to follow from behind. 

“Welcome to First Order. Although your title is secretary, you will have incredibly high security clearance. That is to help facilitate ease as you gather documentation for your boss or ease communication between the other C-Suite executives. It goes without saying that you should not abuse said security clearance.”

She sharply turned down another corridor and made her way to the back of the building. There were no longer any desks in this section - just floor to ceiling windows to the right and a wall to the left with some expensive looking paintings. She stopped in front of a single elevator at the end and pulled out a keycard to swipe before continuing.

“This is your keycard. It grants access to all floors in this building. This keycard is the only way for you to access the executive elevator.” 

The elevator dinged and sleek metal doors slid open. You stepped in alongside Phasma and watched as she swiped a second time before pressing a button with the number forty-five. The ground shook as you both shot upwards. She silently thumbed through her folder as you stoically faced forward unsure of whether or not small talk was part of the company culture. 

Noticing your discomfort, Phasma’s lip quirked at the side. Closing the folder once again, she turned to address you. “Look, I’m going to be straightforward. There aren’t a lot of women in this organization, and you’ll find that your boss and his rival are both assholes. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t room for you to grow here. If you need to talk or have any questions, please feel free to reach out.” 

You smiled and let out a shaky sigh. Your voice was barely above a whisper as you replied, “Thank you, Phasma. I...uh...do you have any advice on my new boss? I haven’t actually met him yet.” 

She looked upwards in silence, clearly deep in thought. Finally, she replied, “Ren can be _temperamental_ , but brilliant at what he does. As long as you keep your head down and do your job, you’ll be fine. Oh, and if you give him an inch, he’ll take a mile.”

You ruminated on that last statement for just a second before the elevator lurched to a stop. The doors silently slid open as she stepped out straight into a foyer. It was minimalistic, but elegant and polished. A single glass desk sat to the side of a pair of black French doors with darkened windows. Phasma set down the folder on the table and motioned for you to sit. 

“This is your desk. Your login information and other notes regarding the job are in this folder. Ren is currently out with a client, but should be back before lunch. Unfortunately, I won’t be here for introductions, but he’s expecting you. Get yourself settled and familiar with our systems in the meanwhile.”

She paused for a moment before adding on a gentle, “Good luck.” 

Twenty-three rounds of solitaire later, you were jolted to attention as the elevator slid open for the first time in three hours. You assumed the passenger to be Mr. Ren as he stepped off with purpose and confidence. The man was decked out in a black suit with matching black shirt and tie. Your eyes trailed upwards as you took in his features. They were sharp and rigid, and definitely not proportional. Yet, somehow, he seemed deliciously handsome. His dark hair curled at the edges by his ears creating a beautiful frame for his face, and he wasn’t just tall. He was built like a tank. No, he was certainly not an old geezer.

You stood to greet him as he quickly approached your desk. Opening your mouth to begin a salutation, you were rudely interrupted as he threw his door open and slammed it shut without even making eye contact. Your feet remained rooted on the spot in shock as Phasma’s words echoed in your head. 

_”Your boss and his rival are both assholes.”_


	2. The Fire Iron Named Ren

You quickly realized that although Mr. Ren had little to say to your face, he certainly made up for it in e-mails and text messages. Receiving a free company phone certainly came with strings attached as the shiny black device pinged for the tenth time in the last hour.

_Kylo Ren | 10:42 AM | Coffee._

_PA3281 | 10:43 AM | What would you like, Mr. Ren?_

You rolled your eyes. They really did treat everyone here like faceless droids. They couldn’t even bother to input your real name into the system. Instead, you were regarded as “personal assistant 3281” - PA3281. Sighing, your phone buzzed again. 

_Kylo Ren | 10:45 AM | Did you not go through orientation with the idiots downstairs?_

Ah, fuck! You quickly whipped out the folder Phasma had placed on your desk. Flipping through the sheets, one stuck out. Bullet point after bullet point of information regarding Kylo’s preferences. His dry cleaner, how he took his coffee and which shops he preferred, his mechanic, and other relevant facts to your job as a glorified servant. How could you have missed something so obvious?

Quickly sending a message of apology to Mr. Ren, you scrambled from your seat and shot downstairs as quickly as possible. Pulling up GPS you noticed that the nearest “acceptable” coffee shop was four blocks away. The trip should have been quick, but stumbling down the streets of New York in a panic while wearing stilettos didn’t do you much good. You might as well have been Bambi learning to walk at this point. 

Thirty-five minutes later, you burst into the office with a large black Americano in tow. Smoothing down the front of your shirt with one hand, you gave the double doors a sharp rap. 

A low baritone drawled, “Enter.” 

Taking a sharp breath, you eased the doors open and stepped inside. Your nerves were on edge. You hadn’t actually spoken to your boss face-to-face yet. Kylo was leaning back in his seat staring into a monitor. One hand lazily moved a mouse around while the other thumbed through a leather bound notebook. 

“Your coffee, sir.” 

Without looking up, he gestured for you to hand him the cup. The moment it reached his hands, he turned to dump it into the trash can next to his desk. 

“Sir!” You squeaked in surprise. Your hands began to play with themselves out of nervousness as a heavy air descended upon the room. Still flipping through the pages of his notebook, Kylo replied, “Do you presume that I enjoy drinking cold coffee?”

“No, sir.” 

“Did you bump your head and forget the way back to work?”

“No, sir.” 

“Then why did it take you so long?” 

You nervously shuffled your feet back and forth as you felt Kylo’s harsh gaze take you in for the first time. Shit. You were creating scuff marks on his floor. Your voice was timid as it quietly responded, “Sir, the nearest coffeeshop was four blocks away. I...I had to walk, and in my current uniform...” 

His eyes slowly roved up and down your body and your hands clenched as your heard the man scoff, “Your excuses do not interest me.”

Kylo’s eyes maintained a heavy stare for a moment longer before he turned to his computer once again. The sound of clicking filled the awkward silence, and you took that as your cue to leave. Turning your back to the man, you didn’t notice as he looked up once again to gaze in your direction.

His eyes remained unwavering even as your body slipped through the crack of his front door.

* * *

It was well past dinner now, and the streets of Astoria were barren save for one or two poor souls hurrying off the N train at this hour. Despite the exhaustion in your bones, it was this nighttime scene that made you fall in love with New York City. The streets were wet with a sudden summer downpour and they were reflecting the beautiful city lights. Even the sound of a lone cab whizzing by was therapeutic to your ears. 

Although the real reason you chose to live in Queens was the simple fact that you couldn’t afford anywhere else, you still fell in love with the borough. The apartments weren’t as high, and it still had a neighborhood feel to it. You even found a great place near the East River, which afforded a stunning view of the New York City skyline. 

Kicking down the sidewalk, you finally arrived at your apartment. It was once a three story house, but the owners had converted each floor to an apartment after their boys moved out. The first floor was yours, while your kindly landlord and his wife took the second. The third belonged to two fun, but rowdy, roommates you had recently become friends with. Seeing “P. Dameron and F. Storm” in scratchy script by the buzzer always put a smile on your face. 

Your hand loving ran over your own little piece of paper. Your first initial and last name settled prettily next to your roommate’s - “R. Tico”. It wasn’t much, but it was yours. And oh if that wasn’t enough to fill your heart with joy. Quietly unlocking the front door, you stepped into a dimly lit hallway. The corridor ended with a door in the front, and opened up into a staircase to the left. 

You unlocked the door to your apartment and your senses were assaulted with the smell of rosemary and thyme mingled with oil and meat. 

“Rose, I’m home!” 

Shuffling sounded from the kitchen before laughter and groans erupted from the dining area. Peeking around the corner, you saw your roommate and the two upstairs neighbors sitting around a small table. Rose shot up and shimmied her shoulders towards your direction as she chanted, “I win! I win! I win!” 

You looped an arm around around the girl’s shoulders and laughed, “What did you win?” 

Finn, the taller man, stood and chortled, “We were betting how late your boss would make you stay tonight. Rose bet nine. I was aiming for ten, while Poe was being annoying and bet on nine forty-five.” 

Sighing, you pulled the elastic out of your ponytail before running a hand through the soft locks. You moaned, “Well I’m glad that my nightmare is your entertainment.” Pausing for a second, you pushed a finger into Rose’s chest and muttered, “You better split that prize with me!” 

She laughed and tugged you into the kitchen as Poe pulled a chair out for you. She gave you a quick hug and teased, “Don’t be mad. I saved you dinner! Plus, the boys are going to treat us to drinks at Sweet Afton, _right_?”

Rose gave the men a pointed look and they quickly nodded in return. Life in New York was hard, but this ragtag group of individuals was definitely easing the harshness of the city.

* * *

Days began to bleed together as the workplace torment grew. You swore that Mr. Ren would randomly throw your coffees away periodically just to keep you on your toes. If it wasn’t the coffee, then he was tossing books against the wall or complaining about how slow you were. Once, he even printed out an e-mail and used red marker to edit the errors before slapping it on your desk. 

Of course the bastard would wait until your lunch break to do so. He wanted to make sure that everyone who passed by would see. 

Every time the man lashed out, you swore you saw a glint in his eyes. As if he were testing you. Playing with his food. The man loved watching you squirm, and you swore it was some sort of sick game for the egotistical deviant. Wasn’t he supposed to be running an empire? Not fucking around with his assistant. 

As each workday passed, he continued to move the line of what was acceptable further and further away. Always testing your limits, and always smirking when you’d relent. Too afraid of losing your job. Too scared of standing up to the dark and foreboding man. Over the course of two months you had already missed Rose’s birthday, the opening night of Finn’s off Broadway play, and countless dinners and drinks. Enough was enough. 

It was four in the morning. Four in the fucking morning. Just the thought of chasing down a night bus in your stilettos made you want to run a heel through the back of Mr. Ren’s head. Sure, if you had actual work to do at least you could somehow justify your presence in the office. But every time you’d poke your head into his office and offer coffee or food, he’d snarl in your direction and demand silence. And when you asked if you could be dismissed (since your peace offerings of beverages and other consumable products were rudely rejected), he all but basically lost it. 

You were sure that he’d probably have a more productive evening if he hadn’t spent thirty minutes lecturing you on responsibility and “pulling your weight”. Your head fell forward and hit the glass desk underneath as your internally moaned. Apparently standards were low here at First Order, since sitting around at your desk playing solitaire counted as “pulling your weight”. The bottom righthand corner of your computer flickered as 4:38 changed to 4:39. 

Fuck. This. Shit. 

You were done. You were done with Mr. Ren and the First Order. The money wasn’t worth the abuse of power. You’d rather go back to waiting tables at the TGI Friday’s in Times Square than put up with Mr. Ren. You weren’t a secretary. You were a fucking babysitter. You were going home, and even scary ol’ Mr. Ren wouldn’t have anything to say about it. Quickly gathering up your personal belongings, you stood and stretched before marching towards his sleek black double doors with determination. 

Pushing it open, you stepped into the darkened room with as much courage as possible. The man was sitting with his back to you as he stared out the window at the skyline. The sun was just barely dancing over the cityscape, and for a second it seemed as if Mr. Ren was sleeping. 

“Have you come back to annoy me with another useless suggestion?” 

“No, Mr. Ren.” 

“Then I suggest you return to your desk where you belong.” 

_“No, Mr. Ren.”_

He suddenly swiveled around with a force strong enough to create whiplash. His eyes darkened as he stood to consider you. Your back was straightened as you tightly clutched onto the handles of your bag. 

“Excuse me?” 

You took a slow breath and prayed for your voice to remain steady even if your hands were shaking. Breathing out, you plainly stated, “With all due respect, I do not ‘belong’ at my desk, Mr. Ren. While I am happy to assist you to my fullest capabilities during working hours, I must draw a line at _four in the morning_. You do not _own_ me, Mr. Ren. If you’re looking for someone to control and mistreat, then unfortunately I am not the woman for you. I am taking my leave now, and I will return tomorrow morning at eight in the morning sharp. Goodnight, Mr. Ren.”

He remained motionless as you squarely maintained eye contact. With no rebuttal in sight, you gave him one last nod before turning on your heel and marching right out of the room. Meanwhile, a lopsided smile tugged at Kylo’s lips as excitement danced in his chest. He _knew_ there was fire in there somewhere. And it delighted the man to no end knowing that he was the source of pulling that foreign emotion out of your timid nature.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading along, and for the super sweet kudos and comments. 
> 
> Oh, and get ready to spend a lot more one-on-one time with Mr. Ren next chapter :)


	3. A Bad Habit Develops

It was exactly 7:49 AM when you arrived at your desk. After your little outburst last night, you didn’t want to risk Mr. Ren having any excuse to have an aneurism over tardiness. You had just finished sorting and filing paperwork when the source of your troubles strolled into the office. The man hesitated for a moment at your desk before you looked up. 

“Good morning, Mr. Ren.” 

“Hello, PA...”

You instinctively cleared your throat, cutting the man off while timidly supplying your first and last name. Kylo tilted his head as an amused smile barely grazed his lips. You coughed once and quietly explained, “Please, sir. I would prefer if you called me by my name.” 

Kylo nodded and slowly repeated the name, as if testing the way the letters tasted on his lips. He liked it. It suited you. He repeated it one more time before walking past you into his office. 

Your morning continued with little fanfare as you made your way to personally drop off paperwork at various destinations. Seeing that whatever Kylo handled was confidential, he didn’t trust e-mailing anything. Walking over to Mitaka on the thirtieth floor, you held back a giggle at the memory of Rose slurring her own theories about Ren during a rare night out. 

_”You know, if he wasn’t rich and handsome, he’d probably be one of those weirdos who believes in space people spying on humans or whatever. Who doesn’t trust the internal communication system of their own company? Maybe if you made him a tinfoil hat, you’ll get on his good side.”_

You had your own theory - the man just liked making you suffer. After all, what better way to plague your assistant than make her traverse multiple floors in stilettos? Giving the dark-haired assistant of Hux a polite nod, you dropped a folder off at his desk. Next, you marched over to Phasma with some personal paperwork regarding payroll. You were in the middle updating the woman on your progress when your phone aggressively buzzed. 

_Kylo Ren | 11:18 AM | Where are you?_

_Kylo Ren | 11:19 AM | I want you in my office NOW._

“Shit!” You spat. It wasn’t exactly professional to curse in front of your HR rep, but something about Phasma’s straightforward and tough demeanor hinted that she wasn’t bothered by it. She rolled her eyes and dismissed you with a wave of a hand. 

Sprinting back to your desk, you noticed that Kylo’s doors were ajar. Darkness roved back and forth across the glazed window indicating that Mr. Ren was pacing back and forth. The sound of muffled shouting was interrupted once in a while with the smash of an object being broken. 

Normally you’d wait outside for one of his episodes to clear, but he had indicated that you were to appear as quickly as possible. Gingerly leaning against the door, you pressed it open to step into the private office. Ren ignored your presence as he continued to shout into the phone. 

“I don’t care if it’s a national holiday in France. If those projections are not in my inbox by the time I’m finished with lunch, I will personally see that your firm is dismantled piece by piece. I swear I’ll take the clothes off your fucking back!” 

He angrily tapped his phone before flinging the device against the wall. You had never seen the man so upset. At least not this closely. His shoulders heaved with each labored breath as he stared into space without moving. Various office supplies laid scattered and destroyed around his feet, and you cringed thinking that you’d have to pick everything up once he was out of the room. 

Suddenly, Kylo snapped back to the present. Snatching his blazer from the back of his leather chair, the man stalked towards the elevator. Stopping just as he passed through the door, he bellowed, “ _You_. You’re coming with me.” A squeak escaped your lips as you scurried towards the angry man just as he entered the elevator. 

With aggression rolling off of Kylo, you were surprised that the man didn’t just rip doors off their hinges as he stomped through the lobby and out onto the street. He paced for a moment, clearly attempting to level his mood now that he was in public. 

“Take me somewhere pedestrian.” 

“Excuse me?” 

“ _Are you deaf?_ ”

You frowned at his attitude, but bit back a retort of your own. Kylo sighed and explained, “I want to eat lunch somewhere I won’t run into a business associate. After the conversation I just had, I’m going to lose it if I have to put on airs with some infuriating Wall Street shmuck. And if I stay in the office I run the risk of having to deal with Hux’s superiority complex.” 

You swallowed the desire to point out that it sounded like Kylo was describing himself. Instead, you nodded and motioned for him to follow. A few blocks later, and you were sliding into a booth at the back of a nondescript pizza parlor. Kylo silently paid for the meal, and then settled in across from you with two cups of Coke in his large palms. 

_Shit. Shit. Shit. You were about to spend the most time alone with your boss since starting the job._

It seemed as if a similar train of thought crossed Ren’s mind as he awkwardly looked anywhere but you. He had shucked off his blazer and was now idly rolling up his sleeves. For someone who never left the office, he had a surprisingly strong build. Tracing the veins up his forearms, your eyes rested at his broad chest. 

“So, how does a little mouse such as yourself end up working for the First Order?” 

Kylo smirked as you choked on nothing. Flattening your palms against your skirt, you replied, “I have bills to pay.” 

The man snorted and placed an elbow on the table before resting his cheek against his palm. You had never seen him so relaxed. 

“Normally Phasma sends me more capable assistants. Tough individuals who can stomach dealing with the business of war. I was surprised when she sent me someone so _mild_.” 

Your palms closed into fists. Sure, you weren’t a wise-cracking career climbing type of gal. But in your eyes that didn’t make you weak. It just meant you operated under a specific decibel. As politely as one could seethe, you responded, “Sir, I may be ‘mild’, but that doesn’t make me incapable of performing my duties. I _am_ still here after two months.” 

His head tilted the other direction as he stared you down. A slight blush bloomed across your face and Kylo smiled. 

“I guess I keep you around for the humanity.” 

Before you could ask the man to elaborate, a teenaged boy interrupted by setting a large pizza down. The smell of pepperoni and cheese wafted into the air, and instantly everything seemed like it would be okay. Kylo motioned for you to serve yourself first, and watched in amusement as you rapidly dug into the meal before he began eating. The two of you ate in relative silence before Kylo ventured with another question.

“What was your major in college?” 

You swallowed a mouthful of carbohydrates and reached for your drink to buy some time before replying, “Photography.” 

“Then why aren’t you a photographer?”

Sheesh, for someone who manages a billion dollar company, he wasn’t exactly good at making small talk was he? You considered the man in front of you. Prior to the interview you had done your due diligence and researched as much as you could. It was an easy task - the man came from a high profile family and generations of wealth and success. You were pretty sure he changed his name to “Kylo Ren” just to be a dick to his parents. 

“Photography doesn’t pay the bills when you have a mountain of debt.”

“No family to help?”

You scoffed. Of course Kylo Ren, heir to the Organa-Solo fortune, would assume that you could just ask your parents for help. You wiped a hand on a napkin and flatly answered, “I am no longer on speaking terms with my family.” 

He looked to be deep in thought as he mulled over your words. How did things get so personal so quickly? Something about Kylo completely disarmed you. Any more time alone with the man and you were at risk of spilling embarrassing stories about puberty. His jaw clenched for moment before he softly replied, “I understand.” 

His softened eyes took you by surprise. Catching himself in the moment, Kylo abruptly stood from his seat and barked for you to return to the office. He sharply mentioned being late for a meeting before flying into a cab and disappearing down the street. You stood in awe for a moment, unsure of what exactly transpired over lunch. 

A playful thought danced through your mind as you walked back to the office. You’d show Mr. Ren that you were no little mouse, and that you certainly weren’t scared of the man.

* * *

Kylo was exhausted. He hated face-to-face meetings. All of the pomp and circumstance. The peacocking and the flattery. Regardless how how much money he raked in with each secured account, he still left every meeting with a hollow feeling. For a while, seeking the physical pleasures New York City offered was enough to numb the loneliness. 

Like a drug though, each shiny new toy, expensive meal, or flighty model he bedded only left the ache growing worse and worse. Just as he was reaching the end of his rope, a new doe-eyed assistant stepped into his life. 

From the get-go, your naiveté and subtleness caught him off guard. He was used to those around him scrambling to please and use Kylo Ren, CEO of First Order Enterprises. But there you were, stumbling along behind him every step of the way. It was your earnestness caught the man off guard. 

His curiosity began with a single look. You happened to be by his desk during one of his famous outbursts. A deal went south, and along with it millions of dollars and hours of work wasted. As he threw a stapler across the room, he was taken aback by your expression - sadness. It wasn’t fear. He knew fear, and the way your lips turned downwards wasn’t it. You were genuinely sad for the man. Empathizing with his frustration and disappointment.

Ren continued to prod and harass you in an attempt to elicit more emotions from your soft features. He’d watch in amusement as each feeling was clearly displayed front and center. You weren’t very good at hiding your thoughts. At least not in the way your brows would furrow or the way your pretty red lips twitched. 

He continued his relentless assault until finally, _finally_ , you stood up for yourself. And _that_ was the best reaction he had ever witnessed from your placid demeanor. The way you deliciously defended yourself was like a dessert on its own. 

Kylo couldn’t explain it, but you were such an oddity in his life. A curiosity he itched to unravel piece by piece. He checked his Patek Philippe watch as he returned to First Order and rode the elevator back up to the forty-fifth floor. It was six now, and with his absence in the office you were probably jumping at the chance to escape on time for once. 

Just as the doors slid open, he was met with your delicate laughter. Kylo froze momentarily as he took in the sight before him. You had switched into a pair of beaten in black Converse hightops, and your typical office attire had been changed for a breezy white off-shoulder dress speckled with lace. Was your hair always this long? Kylo only noticed the length as your locks curled around your shoulders, wavy from being in a bun all day. 

“I know Rose! I can’t believe my luck either. I’ll finally get to see Finn perform and meet the cast afterwards! Do you think Poe is out of the...oh shit, _mybossisheregimmeasecond!_ ” 

You squeaked out the ending of your sentence as Kylo stepped off the elevator and stopped directly in front of you. His calendar indicated that he had no more meetings, and you assumed that the man would just go home afterwards. What kind of lunatic would willingly return to the office if there was nothing else on the agenda? 

Feeling totally underdressed with Kylo scrutinizing your appearance, you awkwardly tucked a stray curl behind your ear. You stuttered, “Hello, sir. Uhm, I thought that you wouldn’t be returning to the office. Uhm, I can...is there...”

Kylo cut you off with a wave of his hand. He murmured, “It’s alright. Go enjoy your night.” 

A huge smile spread across your face as you profusely thanked your boss before jumping into the elevator. Your unbridled happiness tugged a rare smile out of Ren as he shuffled back towards his desk as something deep inside of him craved to see that smile more often. Slowly loosening his tie, he unbuttoned the top of his dress shirt as he surveyed the night view. A bright pink box suddenly caught his attention, and he picked up the offending object from his table. Picking at the tag, he read: 

_”Something sweet always puts a smile on my face. I hope you day gets better!”_

He chuckled and opened the package to reveal a slice of chocolate cake. He never did eat much dessert, but perhaps it was time to develop a new habit. Kylo could do with something sweet in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm seriously having such a hard time not simply throwing up five chapters at once because I'm having so much fun writing this fic x) 
> 
> Things heat up just a _little_ bit next chapter. See you then! ;)


	4. The Tease

Kylo Ren lazily chewed on a bite of chocolate cake as he mulled over his new assistant. The term “new” was being used quite loosely seeing that you’d been employed at First Order for at least two months. How could he have missed something... _someone_...so delectable right within arm’s reach? Maybe his father had been correct. He should get his head out of his ass once in a while.

A chirping noise from Kylo’s phone interrupted his thoughts. He answered without much thought, and immediately regretted doing so. His night would now be ruined, and chances are he’d have to down half a bottle of gin to get over it.

Sighing, Kylo muttered, “ _Hello, mother._ ”

Meanwhile, you were skipping arm-in-arm with Rose on the other side of town. “Oh my gosh. Finn, you are _amazing_ ”, Rose gushed as everyone spilled out onto the street. Poe clapped his friend on the back and reaffirmed Roses’s words of adoration. Finn had just wrapped up the his last show, and you were glad to have caught it. After the final applause, he invited everyone backstage for champagne with the cast, and now your group of friends were stumbling down 9th Avenue with their steps just a little lighter and voices a bit louder.

Poe whipped around to face his three friends as he got a mischievous glint in his eye. Wiggling his eyebrows he ventured, “How do we feel about topping the night off with drinks at a swanky members only club?”

You laughed, “I feel like I can barely make my student loan payments as is, and I have work tomorrow morning.”

Poe tossed an arm around you and pleaded, “What if I told you the drinks were free thanks to my company card, _and_ I’ll pay for our cab home. _Please_?”

You stared into his mocha colored eyes and groaned. It should be illegal to be this damn charming. The combined forces of Rose and Finn cheering “do it” over and over again finally crumbled any available willpower. Next thing you knew, the four of you had crammed yourselves into the back of a cab and then hopped off in front of a nondescript building.

The lounge was unlike anything you had ever seen before. Despite a sleek and minimalist interior, everything screamed “money”. Suddenly black sneakers seemed a terrible choice of shoe as model after model sauntered past in towering Manolos. Sensing your discomfort, Poe placed a hand at your back and whispered, “You look beautiful. Own it!”

Mustering up as much confidence as possible, you made your way into a booth covered in darkened burgundy leather with everyone, and allowed yourself to get lost in the night. After all, you deserved this didn’t you? That was the beauty of New York City. You could be anyone you wanted. Tonight, you were a dashing young woman laughing the night away with her closest friends.

Three rounds of...what did Poe call them again? Side Cars? Or was it an Old Fashioned that Rose had poured down your throat? Shit. You were on edge of tipsy about to fall over into drunk. You palmed Finn’s jacket in search of cigarettes before excusing yourself to the outdoor patio. Waving off your friends, you assured them that you’d be alright and back as soon as you got some fresh air into your lungs.

Stumbling through the room, you cursed as your watch showed three-thirty in the morning. It was way past the point of return though, so you might as well ride out this wave commonly known as “poor decision making skills”.

With a cigarette loosely hanging from your lips, you moaned as soon as you realized you had forgotten a lighter. Testing out your legs, you decided that you were too drunk to meander into the lounge and then back out again. Just as all hope was lost, a lone man with his back turned to you caught your attention.

“Excuse me, sir. Could I borrow a light?”

The mysterious figure turned, and gave you the most searing look you’d ever have the misfortune of being on the receiving end of. You hadn’t recognized your boss’s figure in the dark, especially now that his blazer and tie were missing. His white shirt was unbuttoned at the top and at some point the man had pushed his sleeves up to his elbows.

Kylo slowly leaned forward to take in your appearance. Your hair had become tousled, and your pretty white dress was hanging precariously off one shoulder. Avoiding eye contact, you frantically flattened a palm against your hair in an attempt to look less unkempt.

Ren reached out and your heart stuttered as the man moved closer and closer to your face. Suddenly he plucked the cigarette out from between your lips and flicked it onto the ground.

“I prefer my assistants to take care of their bodies.”

Settling your weight onto one hip, you placed a firm fist on your waist. Gesturing wildly with the other hand you moaned, “Ugh, why are you _so_ boring. You’d think that a hot mysterious guy decked out in black would be more _interesting_.”

He tilted his head and rumbled, “And where is this feisty attitude during office hours?”

“Maybe I’d be more fun if you weren’t such a suffocating asshole. _All memos must have quarter inch margins! My coffee absolutely must be a black Americano at exactly 175 degrees or else it belongs in the trash!_ ” Kylo choked back a laugh as you lowered your voice an octave to mimic him. Perhaps any other day you’d nod along and apologize in hopes of moving past your transgressions. But you were drunk. And today was not that day.

Kylo reached over and twirled a lone strand of hair around his index finger. Giving it a gentle tug, he smirked as your lips opened in surprise. He lifted up the strand and gave the tip a gentle kiss before allowing the hairs to drift back towards your neck. The man quietly murmured, “I can show you a few ways I can be ‘interesting’. In fact, one might even consider me _creative_.”

A chuckle died on his lips and his body stiffened when he realized that you had begun sliding your hands up and down his torso. Slowly, your hands made their way down his front as you felt the wide planes of his chest. Gentle divots along his stomach hinted at abs, and your fingers delicately traced the grooves. Kylo’s breath hitched as your hands moved outwards to brush along his hips, and then back in as they inched closer and closer to his crotch. Kylo was frozen, unsure of what was happening.

“Where is your goddamn lighter? I know you have a lighter! Get off your fuckin’ high horse. You _totally_ look like a smoker!”

Kylo gingerly gripped your wrists with his wide hands and pulled you away from his body. Bent by your ear, he whispered, “And what would I get in return if I let you borrow my lighter?”

You looked up at the behemoth of a man with wide and bright eyes. Your lips pulled away for a dazzling smile as you earnestly replied, “I’ll be your friend!” Kylo’s fists clenched around your delicate skin in surprise. This certainly wasn’t going in the direction he was anticipating. It seemed like nothing ever went as expected when it came to his interactions with you.

He eased his grip, allowing your hands to fall back at your sides as he asked, “And _why_ would I want to be friends with you?”

Completely drunk and unaware of how serious the air had become, you simply replied, “Because you’re lonely.”

Kylo felt anger surge inside his chest at your words. He stalked forward and you stepped backwards in surprise. He continued to move onward until your back was against the wall and your chests were touching. Leaning down until his forehead was resting against your temple, he seethed, “Don’t act like you fucking know me. You’re just a lowly assistant who gave up on her dreams an...”

You suddenly felt a tug as your body slid out from underneath Ren. Rose was holding onto your shaking torso while Finn stood ahead of the both of you.

“What’s your problem, dude? Fucking pervert, preying on drunk girls!” Finn shouted at Ren. He glared towards your boss for a moment longer before pushing Rose and yourself back into the club. Just before you were out of eyesight, you turned to catch one last glimpse at Kylo.

Perhaps it was the darkness, or the alcohol playing tricks on you. But you could’ve sworn that the man gave you a wink just before pulling out a lighter and cigarette from his back pocket.

Much to the dismay of a very disgruntled cab driver, you piled into a yellow taxi with your three friends in tow. Crammed into the back, you were nestled halfway on Rose’s lap and wedged against Finn’s thigh. The man was still seething as he rambled on, “I hate guys like that. He’s probably some finance douche who thinks his money can get him out of anything. Just seeing that asshole pressed up against you like that makes me want to throw a punch.”

“Finn,” you gently interjected. “He’s my boss.”

The man whipped around as much as one could in a crammed space. His features painted in disbelief he exclaimed, “What the fuck?! That’s even _more_ inappropriate! You should report him to a supervisor or something!”

Feeling touched at your friend’s anger, you gently patted the side of his thigh. You shrugged, “Finn. _He_ is my supervisor. He’s the freaking CEO of First Order!”

As the title of “CEO” dripped from your lips, Poe suddenly stiffened. He leaned forward and cautiously asked, “Wait, you work directly with Kylo Ren?”

“Yeah. I thought you guys knew this. I mean, I’m always complaining about him when I get home. And I’m pretty sure I bitch about him at least five times a day in the group chat.”

Poe drummed his fingers against his thighs and murmured, “Yeah, but you never said his name. I thought you were just working for some paper pusher at the Order. Not...Kylo Ren.”

You rolled your shoulders and shifted slightly. “What’s the difference? It’s all the same anyways.”

Poe really craned his neck now to maintain eye contact. His typical lighthearted demeanor had melted at the mention of Mr. Ren and he was the most serious you had ever witnessed. Reaching over to tightly grip your hand, Poe exclaimed, “Dude, you need to quit. Ren is messed up. Like, _dangerous_ messed up.”

Okay, now your friends were getting annoying. This was your _job_. Pulling your hand out of his grasp, you dryly replied, “Yeah, thanks for the heads up. I think I’ve got this. He’s a dick but that’s no reason to quit. Have we forgotten that I have a ridiculous amount of debt from a ridiculously useless degree?”

Rose nervously smoothed her palm against your shoulder and threw the boys a sharp look - mentally willing them to shut up. Unfortunately, neither could read minds and Poe continued, “Look, our company deals with First Order a lot, and Kylo is a monster. I could get you a job at Resistance Tech as soon as next week if you want. I can’t tell you what Kylo does, that’s confidential to the industry. But...look. I just don’t like the way he runs his business, okay? And I heard rumors of some messed up family shit, too.”

You were officially done with this conversation. You gave Poe a half-hearted reply that you’d think about it, and he seemed pleased enough. The rest of the ride went by in silence and you were soon pulling up to the apartment building. Poe handed the driver a wad of cash, and then everyone began to say their goodnights. Just before you parted, he gripped your shoulders one last time and pleaded, “Just trust me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UGH. Show me how creative you can be, Mr. Ren.


	5. The Appetizer

It was always the same story after a night of hard drinking - waking up with regret, plotting your own death, and revisiting misdemeanors committed under the influence of alcohol. To make matters worse, you had fallen asleep on the commute resulting in missing your stop. By the time you went above ground, back down on the other side, and hopped on the right train - you were hopelessly late.

Not only that, but you had been drunk enough to make stupid life decisions such as _feel up your freaking boss_ , but not blitzed enough to have forgotten what had happened. You stepped off the executive elevator and onto the forty-fifth floor completely ready to die of embarrassment.

Only, you didn’t.

Ren’s door was closed, but you heard gentle murmuring behind the glass. His morning conference call must have begun earlier than scheduled. At least that took care of any awkward A.M. confrontations. If you had any doubts that your job was on the line though, they were immediately cleared as you stepped up to your little glass fortress.

Sitting neatly in the center right between your monitor and keyboard was a cup of coffee. A sticky note was stuck to the sleeve with two sentences scrawled in surprisingly beautiful penmanship.

_“May I suggest a different addictive substance? Perhaps one that won’t kill you?”_

The smell of hazelnut and spice wafted up from the lid, enveloping the area with a warm scent. The caramel liquid inside was still hot, and burned deliciously as it was consumed. Seeing that he bought you coffee, perhaps Kylo’s hypocrisy regarding smoking could be ignored. For now at least. You reclined into the leather seat underneath and began your typical morning rituals. 

The computer fired on with a half-hearted beep. Next, physical memos were sorted as the screen slowly loaded. Some papers were shuffled into the trash. Others were filed away for later use, and a select few were organized into a folder to hand off to Mr. Ren. As soon as the monitor pinged to life, e-mails were next on the list. Similar to the memos, you organized and sorted the digital mail. Once in a while, you’d be interrupted by a phone call. 

Most of the time it was a frantic Mitaka in search of one thing or another for Hux. The poor man was clearly stretched far too thin, and you always spent the latter half of your conversations giving the assistant a pep talk. By the time everything was catalogued and dealt with, it was usually lunch. That was almost always taken alone at your desk. First Order certainly didn’t encourage friendships, that much was for sure. If you were lucky and Mr. Ren had an outside appointment during the hour, you were able to eat elsewhere. Even then it wasn’t very exciting. You’d usually just grab a sorry excuse for a salad from Hale & Hearty, and eat it in the break room. 

Today was different though. Twelve o’ clock struck, and Mr. Ren emerged from his office. Dark hair coiffed backwards, he slowly ambled towards your desk. Your name slid from his lips like oil and you looked up in surprise. 

“Mr. Ren! I thought you had a lunch appointment today.” 

He tapped his fingers along the smooth surface of your desk and nodded. Reaching over, he plucked your purse hanging from the back of the chair. Smiling, the man responded, “Yes, I do. _You’re_ my appointment.” 

You mouth slackened in surprise, and Kylo smirked at your reaction, filing away the image along with others he had collected over time. Twirling the leather strap of your bag in one hand, he turned on his heel and marched over to the elevator. You immediately jumped up from your chair and hurried a step behind the man.

He brought you to a swanky restaurant somewhere uptown. Just like at the club last night, you felt incredibly out of place. It was the type of establishment you’d only read about in magazines alongside the words “so-and-so celebrity spotted at”. It certainly wasn’t the kind of venue a failed photographer turned personal assistant ate at. And it definitely wasn’t the kind of place a boss should be taking his assistant just for kicks. 

Regardless, Kylo still placed a warm palm on your lower back and ushered you through the large doors and into a marble waiting area. The hostess immediately recognized the raven-haired CEO and lead the way to a private dining area secluded in the back.

The lithe blonde’s eyes darted between the two of you and then to Kylo’s hands before asking, “Mr. Ren, would you like me to check your - uh - friend’s bag?” 

Oh my God. Kylo Ren was still holding your purse. 

Your face colored in embarrassment as you thought about how this woman probably checked Birkins worth six figures. Your little flea market find of cracked leather _definitely_ had no business being checked _anywhere_. Panicking, you snatched the purse away from your boss and awkwardly tittered that you’d be fine holding onto the handbag. 

Did the woman just give you a look of _sympathy_?

If she kept up that attitude, you’d give her something to be sympathetic about. Your eyes squinted ever so slightly, and Ren let out a snort. He waved the hostess away and pulled out your chair before settling in across the table.

“If you’re ashamed of your purse, you could always buy a new one.”

“Excuse me?! Just because I don’t enjoy being judged, doesn’t mean I’m ashamed of my purse! And what do you expect me to do? Go out and buy a Chanel with the zero dollars in my savings account?”

Kylo’s head tilted backwards as he chuckled, “You looked ready to choke the hostess with your mind.”

“My purse has _character_. Something she wouldn’t understand,” you pouted. 

“Yes. I’m just finding out about how much _character_ you possess.”

Heat spread across your cheeks and your face bloomed pink at your boss’s teasing. Fiddling with the hem of the tablecloth you whispered, “I’m so sorry about last night, Mr. Ren.” He dismissed your apology with a wave of his hand and chortled, “I’ve seen Phasma do worse on a better night. Don’t worry about it.” He slowly drank in the sight of your flushed skin and the way your lashes shyly fluttered at his words. Yes, he could definitely get used to this.

Thankfully the waiter arrived, and provided some relief as he went over the tasting menu. Who on earth ate five courses at twelve thirty in the afternoon?

Apparently, Kylo Ren did. The man didn’t even flinch as the waiter rattled off various dishes and accompaniments. You blushed again as Mr. Ren ordered a whiskey neat for himself and a gin and tonic for yourself. He ignored your protests that it was too early to drink, and opted to lean back and watch your fruitless objections with mirth. 

“Are you done?” 

Your ears turned red, and Kylo grinned with his full set of teeth. He was beginning to discover a new hobby - making his assistant blush. Once again, the waiter came to the rescue as he set down a white oval porcelain dish with two oysters perched atop a hill of ice with caviar scattered about. Ren expertly fed himself the appetizer and watched you struggle in amusement. Compared to Ren’s effortless elegance, you looked like a pelican choking down sardines. 

He quietly placed a palm on the table and asked, “So, tell me about yourself. What do you do after work?” 

An eyebrow raised on its own as you studied Mr. Ren with some suspicion. Just a few days ago, this man was one missed memo away from flipping over your desk and booting you out the door. Now he wanted to know what you did for fun? As if sensing your apprehension, Kylo teased, “Isn’t this what _friends_ do? Get to know each other?”

The memory of Kylo’s massive hands gripping your slight wrists was enough to make you gag on your drink. Were gin and tonics always this difficult to stomach? 

Clearing your throat and wiping the edges of your lips, you replied, “Well. Honestly, I go to work so early and stay so late...there isn’t really much time for me to do anything. My friends are pretty understanding though, so we spend most of our time at my apartment or theirs. We - uh - you know, talk. Sometimes we play board games or just watch Netflix. We do other things together, too.”

Kylo arched a brow and joked, “You do ‘other things’ with your friends? How conveniently vague.” 

Coughing again, you sputtered, “No! No. I mean, we’re all single, but we don’t - you know - do weird things. Uhm, Rose is a mechanic and she works on these crazy fancy private planes that come in and out of the city. Sometimes her clients invite her to cool things, and I’ll get to tag along. Poe has a really sweet job, and he’ll hook us up with tickets to events, too. And, uhm, Finn also works at Poe’s company, but only part time. But he’s trying really hard to be an actor and he just wrapped up a really great show. We’ll go see him in different performances, and it’s really fun!” 

Kylo ran his bottom lip along the edge of his glass as he took in your response. The name “Poe” sounded oddly familiar to him. It was a rather archaic sounding name that not many in your age group had. He’d have to look into that later, rather preferring to settle on one key fact he was surprisingly happy to learn - you were single. 

“What about you, Mr. Ren? Do you have any hobbies? Or - uhm - date?” 

You were going to be the death of him. If he could die via cuteness, he would choose you every time. He watched your throat bob as you swallowed, almost as if you wished you could push the words back down. He thought for a moment: no, what he did with the fairer sex certainly wouldn’t be considered dating. As for hobbies? 

“Sure. I enjoy calligraphy. It’s a nice marriage of art and the written form. I also like taking my cars out to the speedway from time-to-time. As for dating? No. I wouldn’t say I have the time to date...per se.” 

You nodded along, thinking the entire time that Mr. Ren sounded lightyears above you. Of course someone like him wouldn’t play fucking Cranium in his free time. You continued to eat and chat until the meal wrapped up. Kylo was even suave enough to take care of the check while he got up to use the restroom, saving you the embarrassment of having to act like you could even afford to split the $700 bill. 

Walking out the door, you stopped to turn to the man. Rocking a bit on your heels, you meekly murmured, “Thank you, Mr. Ren...”

“What was that, little mouse? I didn’t quite catch that.” A quirk of his lip indicated that he was teasing you again.

Clearing your throat, you spoke up, “Thank you, Mr. Ren. For the meal. And the conversation. I - uh - quite enjoyed spending time with you.” 

He gave you a warm smile. The most genuine one you have yet to witness. He carefully patted your back - high enough to be professional, but low enough to leave you confused. 

Looking up into the sky, he replied, “I’m glad. Perhaps we could making spending time together a habit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, seriously guys. I know I'm always saying "thank you", but I really mean it. Your comments are so sweet and encouraging and it gives me the fuel to keep writing this fic. Love, love, love you all! <3 
> 
> Next chapter, I'm getting ready to plant some seeds of _dramaaaa_. Things can't be all fancy meals and unicorns with Mr. Ren.


	6. Cinder-Fucking-Ella

The day sped by in a whirlwind of nervous energy. Lunch with Mr. Ren left butterflies in your stomach, creating excitement and energy as you buzzed around the office. Your mind kept drifting to the feeling of his warm hand against your lower back, and the way his eyes crinkled when you said something funny. Despite your interest in the man, a small voice would quietly remind you that you were just an assistant. Maybe Mr. Ren was only extending an olive branch, and you shouldn’t read too much into it. After all, logic would dictate that work would be a lot more productive if his assistant actually enjoyed her job.

Even if you weren’t working underneath the accomplished mogul, it wasn’t like someone like _him_ would ever be interested in someone like _you_. Expectations ought to be managed. Sure, it was perfectly acceptable to harbor a small crush on your boss. But you couldn’t let it get away from you. 

Yet, another more irrational side of you wished so badly that Mr. Ren would do something completely insane like ask you out. 

_As if._

By the time you got home, you had resigned yourself to simply admiring Kylo from afar. You really had no business going around falling in love with a billionaire. Toeing off your heels at the door, you were welcomed home with shrieks of laughter. The sounds of house filled to the brim in joy and friendship bounced against the white walls. 

Rose was in the center of the living room sashaying around as she held a tulle skirt up to her chest. Finn and Poe were hooting as she pretending to wave and bow towards her adoring fans. 

“What’s going on here guys?” You laughed while Poe rolled his wrists in circles as he hinged at the waist. Rose gave him a curtsey and then bounded your way. Clutching your hands in her own she shrieked, “We’re going to a _ball!_ Like Cinder-fucking-ella!” Finn guffawed and shook his head. You collapsed onto the couch between the darker man and Poe, watching Rose as she continued to turn in circles around the room. 

Poe laughed, “Close. Finn and I need dates for this yearly charity gala work makes us attend. We figured it would be more fun with our favorite gals. It’s held at the Lincoln Center, and its going to be amazing!” Finn cheered and leapt up to catch Rose in his arms. The pair began to waltz around the room as Rose sang the chorus to Beauty and Beast.

Stifling a laugh at Finn’s look of offense, you turned towards Poe. “Really? A gala? I don’t even know how to begin unpacking this.” 

He reached over to the coffee table and uncorked a bottle of red wine. Shoving a full glass into your hands, he replied, “Drink this while I talk. Alright, the gala is on a Saturday so it doesn’t conflict with your work schedule. Next, Rose’s sister works at that stupidly fancy boutique on Fifth Ave., and she can get you guys some clothes at a steep discount. Lastly, you _deserve_ this sweet pea. You need to take a break once in a while. Plus, there will be important people in the room to network with. I know you miss photography. This is New York City, babe. You never know what will happen!” 

The man wiggled his eyebrows and continued, “At the very least there will be tons of free fancy pants food and champagne.” 

“You really know the way to a girl’s heart, Poe.” Downing the rest of the wine, you gave him a sigh and a nod. Rose and Finn burst into claps before Rose climbed back onto the couch. Tossing her arms around you, she cheered, “I already texted Paige! We’re going to have a shopping party!” 

Throwing your face into her arm you moaned, “Why is everything a party with you Ticos?” 

Rose giggled and squeezed you tighter. “Because life is worth celebrating!”

* * *

Wednesday rolled around, and you found yourself impatiently tapping the leg of your desk with the side of your heel. Pinching the bridge of your nose, you reminded yourself that your friends were just being kind, and that you should be gracious at their generosity. 

Side-eyeing your phone, you pulled up the conversation with Rose.

_Rose Tico | 4:19 PM | Okay! I confirmed the private shopping appointment for today with Paige. Let me text you the address!_

_Rose Tico | 4:19 PM | 754 5th Ave. It’s between 5th Ave. and W. 57th St._

The address was pulled up on Google Maps and sat mocking you from the computer screen. _Bergdorf Goodman_. You needed to have a talk with Poe and Rose regarding using the words “fancy” and “boutique” lightly.

There was no way you could afford anything in that fucking department store. And knowing Poe and Rose, they probably worked out some scheme to get you decked out in the most expensive shit while paying the least. 

Your heart was touched that Rose and Poe wanted to spoil you. But your pride was finding it hard to accept such an ostentatious gift. You continued to debate with yourself when a familiar baritone snapped you right back to reality. 

“Bergdorf’s, huh? Finally getting that Chanel?” 

Somehow you managed to clumsily close the tab while simultaneously swiveling around in your chair. Mr. Ren was leaning against the wall behind your chair. Hands in his pockets, his chest rumbled in laughter as he watched you panic. 

“No! I mean, yes. But no, I’m not buying a Chanel. My - uhm - friend is taking me shopping though. I need...I mean it’s not really...” 

You could see the headlines now - “Personal Assistant Launches Herself Out of Forty-Fifth Floor Window”. Kylo tilted his head and narrowed his eyes. Leveling his voice, he flatly ventured, “Your _friend_ is taking you shopping. How generous of... _him_.”

You heard it. It was barely there, but you heard it. Mr. Ren was trying to suss out if a male was taking you on a shopping spree. As much as you wanted to tease the man, the prospect of keeping your job was a lot more enjoyable. Your voiced lamely squeaked, “ _Her_. My roommate’s sister has an employee discount, and I need new clothes.” 

His lip twitched upwards, as if the man was trying to suppress a smile. Looking downwards, he lightly tugged at the lapel of his jacket. Flattening the fabric against his chest, he nodded as he straightened the top. 

“I see. Well, enjoy the shopping trip then. Feel free to leave at 5 today. There isn’t much work left.” 

With that, the man turned on his heel and slinked back into his office. At the sound of the heavy oak doors closing, you let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding.

* * *

This was unnecessary. This was so, so, so, unnecessary. You were perched atop a velvet Bergère that was more appropriate in the bedroom of an 18th century princess. Despite your general discomfort at being primped and fussed over, Paige had a disarming attitude about her that left you feeling less apprehensive about the whole ordeal.

Or maybe it was the fact that Rose had smartly plied you with three glasses of champagne before the styling session had begun.

Paige had just wrapped up going over measurements and jotting down ideas when an older gentleman stepped into the parlor. He discretely slipped a folded piece of paper to the woman before excusing himself. 

Paige’s eyes twinkled and a mischievous smile spread across her delicate features. Tossing the piece of parchment aside, she sang, “Alright, I’m going to pull some garments. You ladies relax and enjoy some light bites while I’m gone.”

She blew a kiss, and skipped out the door. Judging by the boundless energy the sisters shared, you wondered if enthusiasm was genetic. Rose settled herself on the armrest and laid her head atop yours. She played with the hem of your sleeve as the two of you relaxed into friendly conversation. 

“Hey, Rose?” 

She hummed.

“Thanks. Seriously...for setting this up with Paige. It was really sweet of you guys, and I’m having fun. Really!” 

Rose gave your shoulders a gentle squeeze. “Of course! You’re my best friend, and you deserve nothing but the best.” 

Paige burst into the room with flourish as she dragged two racks along. Rose squealed at the sight of silk and feathers and immediately began to comb through the garments. 

“Down, girl!” Paige teased as Rose gushed over the lush fabrics. You noticed that one of the racks was suspiciously fuller than the other. Paige caught you gaze and smiled. “Rose told me that you haven’t shopped for yourself in _ages_. I thought we could try on a few extra things just for fun.” 

You cringed at your Banana Republic trousers. Did they do the job? Sure. Did you look good? That was up for debate. 

Paige put on some upbeat electronic music, and the three of you began to go through outfits. You had a suspicion that Rose was only a decoy to get you comfortable with trying on expensive garments. The petite woman was certainly a lot more invested in what was going on _your_ body, as opposed to her own.

“Oh my _God_. You _need_ to try this on.” Rose screeched. She was holding up a black wool sweater dress with cut outs by the arm and a soft turtle neck. 

You pulled the dress from her hands and took a look at it before screaming, “Rose! What am I going to do with a _six hundred dollar_ sweater from Helmut Lang?!”

Oh no. The woman threw you her all and her best. Brown eyes cast wide open in innocence, she silently nudged you towards the dressing room. Relenting with a groan, you stomped away, but not before shouting over your shoulder, “I thought we were shopping for one dress. _One_!”

Your protests fell upon deaf ears. Once you emerged from the room, Rose and Paige immediately ganged up on you. They continued to ignore your objections (“ _No, Paige! Nobody in their right mind needs a $4,000 Akris wool coat!_ ”), and piled outfit after outfit upon you. 

One hour later, and you flopped onto your back to stare at the ceiling. Designer department store be damned, you’d make yourself right at home on their overpriced rug. Rose sat cross-legged by your face and massaged your arms. 

“I’m sorry we love playing dress up so much,” Rose whispered as she gave up on your arms and began braiding your hair. You never had siblings growing up, so you were unaccustomed to the hustle and bustle that were the Tico sisters. Rolling onto your side, you propped your head up on one arm and replied, “It’s okay. I’m sorry if I’m being a sourpuss. I _am_ having fun. I love you and Paige. It’s the reminder that I’m dirt poor that I’m not enjoying.” 

Rose fluffed the ends of your hair and smiled. “Just one more dress, and we’ll be done. I promise.” 

Just in time, Paige entered the room with a single black garment bag. Carefully unzipping it, she pulled a navy blue gown out. Inch-by-inch the crepe was revealed. The top was off-shoulder with crystal embellishments dotting the neckline in a floral motif. The bust featured beautiful drapes, and fell into a figure-hugging silhouette. A soft and delicate chiffon cape fell from the back and trailed along the floor. 

Sitting up, you gasped, “Wow. That’s not for me, right?” 

Paige reached a hand out to help you stand. She slowly eased you into the dress and carefully zipped up the side. You looked like a modern-day princess. How could something be so sexy and elegant at the same time?

Rose rushed to your side and began to coo alongside her sister. The three of you faced the mirror in awe. Fingers shaking, you tentatively reached underneath your arm to look at the price tag. 

Paige immediately slapped your hand away. Eyes twinkling, the woman smirked, “That’s for me to know, and you to never find out.” Winking, she gingerly unzipped you and whisked the dress away alongside your very full rack of garments. 

You began to protest, but the sisters would hear nothing of it. Thirty minutes later, and Paige returned with a mountain of bags and boxes neatly stacked together. She beckoned you towards a marble desk with a singular black box resting in the center. 

“Paige. I don’t understand...” 

She grinned and made playful eyes with her sister. Leaning forward, Paige whispered, “Before you came in, a VIP called and insisted that we outfit you in a new wardrobe. They already have an account with us, and insisted that we charge anything that looked good onto their card.” 

Words escaped you as you turned to look at the ridiculous amount of clothing expertly packed away. “But...I didn’t even...” 

Waving her hands, Paige laughed, “Don’t worry! I only picked practical things you’ll get use out of. I am a personal shopper, after all. I’d never send you home with something you’d hate!”

Mutely nodding, you mentally calculated just how much everything cost. You were pretty sure that there wasn’t a single garment in those bags underneath $500. 

Holding up a finger, Paige caught your wandering eyes and motioned towards the black box. Pulling the lid off, she cautiously peeled back layer after layer of tissue paper to reveal leather hidden underneath. 

A rectangular bag made of calfskin sat nestled in between paper. Pearls gracefully dotted the perimeter, and the middle featured tweed with classic quilting running across the bag. 

Two “C’s” interlocked at the center.

Paige pulled the bag out, and pushed it into your shaking hands. She whispered, “Our VIP insisted that we choose a Chanel Boy Bag for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Chanel bag is for you, Sithlordintraining ;)
> 
> I was poking around on the actual Bergdorf's website, and whew. I need me a Mr. Ren of my own.


	7. Boundary Crossing

It felt like deja vu - the first day all over again. Nerves rattled inside of your chest while a sweaty palm meticulously pushed back a few stray hairs. The only difference between that fateful first day and now was that you were decked out in an expensive designer outfit. 

Paige never told you who your generous benefactor was, but you had a suspicion. If anything, the Chanel bag was the final nail in the coffin. It was uncomfortable accepting such expensive gifts, but Paige wouldn’t take no for an answer. She had joked that at the very least, you could take the gifts for the sake of her commission. 

Now mussing with some lipstick, you wondered what Mr. Ren’s deal was. Under any other circumstance, his actions would seem wildly inappropriate. He was a billionaire though. Maybe a few thousand dollars to him was the same as a few bucks to you. Still, you didn’t like feeling like a charity case. 

You were in the middle of a mental pep talk when Kylo strolled into the room. Standing by your desk, his eyes roved over every inch of your figure. He grazed the bottom of his lip with the tip of his tongue and grinned.

“I like your blouse today. Black suits you.”

Gripping the edge of your desk, you squeaked, “Mr. Ren! The clothes...I didn’t...”

He smirked and leaned over the desk. Carefully running a hand along the pussy-bow, he shushed you. “A ‘thank you’ will suffice. I have an image to uphold, and it’s necessary for my personal assistant to maintain certain standards.” His hand gently traced down your arm as he continued, “And Banana Republic is not in line with said image.”

Craning his neck further, he peered over the desk and beamed at the little black bag sitting at the edge of the glass. You had made sure to keep it safely away from your coffee cup. Giving your wrist a gentle squeeze he murmured, “You deserved something nice for everything you’ve put up with the last few months. Think of it as an early Christmas bonus.” Standing straight once again, he gave you a wink before disappearing into his room.

Right. This was totally normal. Bosses definitely bought their assistants new wardrobes and designer bags. Mhmm, that was the story you would stick with. Anything else came dangerously close to wishful thinking. 

Five o’ clock rolled by and you tentatively knocked on Mr. Ren’s door. He had been tied up in conference calls all day, which meant that you hadn’t spoken since your conversation this morning. He beckoned you into the room, and you shyly poked a head in. 

“Little mouse?” 

Ren resisted the urge to smirk. How fitting it was that every time he called you by that pet name, you’d give a cute little squeak.

You bit the bottom your lip and nervously stepped into the office. Hands tightly clasped at your front, you awkwardly started, “I never got to say ‘thank you’ for the gifts. So - uhm - thank you, Mr. Ren. I could never repay you for your kindness.”

He leaned back in his chair and stretched upwards. Placing both hands behind his head, he turned his head to the side and drank in your timid smile. His voice was barely audible as he murmured, “I can think of a way for you to show your appreciation.” 

Shit. This was it. Your boss was going to reveal himself to be a total freak and you’ll have to return everything and quit. It was nice while it lasted. 

As if he could read your mind, Ren let out a bellow of a laugh. Removing his hands, he opted to stand and slowly move towards you. He stopped just a step shy of your own Louboutin clad feet and tilted his head downwards to gaze into your soft eyes. 

“A meal with me. All I ask of you is your company.”

“I refuse to have you buy me dinner on top of everything you’ve already given me, and I couldn’t possibly afford to take you anywhere nice!” 

You paused for a minute, and your lips began to move on their own. Before your head could catch up, you heard your voice continue, “I could cook you dinner.” 

Could someone die twice? You’d be more than happy to test the possibility. 

Ren pulled back and his brows knit together. There you went again - always surprising the man. He hadn’t had anything home cooked since he moved out on his own. The concept was certainly intriguing, and the prospect of spending more time with his adorable assistant was tempting. Before he could stop himself, Ren blurted out, “My place or yours?” 

Holy shit. At least this was better than being fired for coming onto your boss. Tugging at the buttons on your sleeve, you replied, “Either works, I guess. I have a roommate though, and our neighbors come over unannounced all the time.” 

“Mine, then. We can stop by Whole Foods on the way. Since you’re cooking, at least let me get the groceries?” 

You quietly nodded, and the man reached over to grab a set of keys from the desk. It seemed like the feeling of his palm against your back was becoming a familiar sensation, as the man guided you out the door. His hand remained against your supple flesh, even as you stepped into the elevator and pressed the button for the lobby. 

“Sir? Are we...driving? In the city?”

He snorted, “Well, I certainly don’t take the _subway_.”

* * *

Even standing underneath fluorescent lights, Kylo was still a sight to behold. Somehow, he managed to look like a model despite hanging out amongst bananas and peaches. The man laced his fingers through his ebony locks while staring at a box of strawberries. 

He was thinking about the entirety of your little field trip to the grocery store. Kylo has bed his fair share of women; yet, nothing was so intimate, nor unsettling, as shopping for dinner ingredients with his assistant.

Kylo thought about the way your little lips pouted while arguing over dark chocolate versus milk chocolate. Or how heavy his chest felt when he lightly pressed against your back while reaching for salt on the top shelf. _That_ led him to muse over the look of horror mixed with pity when you realized that Kylo Ren spent such little time in his home that he didn’t even own _salt_. 

He had never been apologetic about his lifestyle as one of New York’s most eligible bachelors. Nor had he ever felt the need to defend or explain himself. Yet, seeing the way your round eyes opened in concern and sadness made the man want to say something stupid. Something ridiculous like tell you that sure, he might be a mess now - but he’s ready to get his act together. That’s he’s ready to do something dumb like get a pet to prove that he could take care of _something_ and be a mature adult. 

What was wrong with him? You’re just an assistant. A tool within the greater machine that was the First Order. Why did he feel this inexplicable desire to prove himself to you? He didn’t work so hard, nor sacrifice so much, to get turned inside out by _you_. Yet, a small voice inside of his head cooed, “Who says you can’t have it all?” He continued to stare at strawberries as if they’d tell him what to do.

“Everything okay, sir?”

He turned to look at you, and smiled at the sight of you gripping onto a small shopping basket. You were a sight to behold - elegantly fitted in an all black outfit. Your silk blouse and tapered trousers fit like a glove. Yet, your delicate features fell in a serene position, causing the perfect juxtaposition of grace and friendliness. 

“Yeah, I’m just trying to figure out which box to get.” 

You gave him one of your trademark sunshine-y smiles and stepped up to his side. Leaning over, you methodically picked up each transparent box and then shifted them around to peer inside. Ren observed from your left, and felt a hollow pang in his chest. The whole act of choosing strawberries felt so domestic. So humble. 

He found himself hating the vulnerability, yet thirsting for more.

He couldn’t help but smile as you grinned while exclaiming, “This is _the_ box!” Gently placing it into the basket, you mindlessly hummed a tune while moving onto the next item.

Ren quietly reached over and grabbed your wrist just before you were out of reach. You paused in mild surprise and looked up at the man. He maintained unwavering eye contact as his long fingers slipped down to cover your own.

Resting over your digits for a moment, he paused and then carefully slid his hand to the handlebar. Tugging lightly, he pulled the basket from your hand and then nodded for you to continue.

If your stupid brain wasn’t so lacking in hope or confidence, you’d probably find the entire act flirtatious. Maybe if you had been a different woman, you would have taken the opportunity to move your free hand into his. Or at least hook an elbow around his arm.

But you were still just a little mouse.

And mice shouldn’t play with cats. Definitely not foreboding and aggressive predators like Kylo Ren.

So you opted to settle into a role that was most comfortable to you - a silent observer. Sure, people often deemed you as timid, but that shyness enabled you to stay out of trouble. And nothing sounded like more trouble than flirting with your boss.

Too bad that shyness was _exactly_ what Kylo Ren found so interesting and deliciously desirable about you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Of course_ , Mr. Ren's default grocery would be Whole Foods. I guess if the man can pay $20 for a mango, why not? 
> 
> Next up, we start _cooking_ up some fun... good thing I write fic and not stand up comedy.
> 
> Also, if anyone has read my other fics, I don't know why I have this obsession with writing characters in the grocery store. I guess I just like how relaxing and "normal" the entire ordeal of shopping for food is.


	8. Please Stand By

Just like everything else in his life, Kylo’s ridiculously unpractical BMW was black. The matching dark interior had blood red trim, and you snickered thinking that Mr. Ren probably saw it as a “fun pop of color”.

The groceries had been neatly packed into the trunk, and you were nervously headed towards Kylo’s home. Always full of surprises, the man began to drive west. He angled his head and chuckled at your confusion. 

“Surprised I don’t live in a high-rise downtown, or in the Upper East Side?”

“No offense, sir. I just assumed...”

Kylo’s laugh reverberated through the vehicle as he maneuvered the car to stop. He had pulled up to an unassuming brownstone somewhere in Chelsea. The area was surprisingly residential for the perpetual bachelor of First Order Enterprises, but you found it beautiful nonetheless. Tall trees dotted the sidewalks, and they rustled at the threat of a looming change in season.

You leisurely climbed up the steps to the front door and took in the sight of Mr. Ren holding two brown paper bags in one hand while the other fumbled with a key. The whole experience felt lightyears away from the typical aggression Kylo showed at office. To any passerby, it would look like a couple had run errands together after work, and you were just returning home to cook a meal together. Well, at least they’d have _half_ of the picture correct.

The door finally swung open, and you made a sudden realization - there was no buzzer by the entrance. Kylo Ren owned the _entire_ brownstone. All three stories were his. 

You shuddered, thinking about _that_ level of wealth. 

The sound of Kylo kicking off his shoes interrupted your thoughts, and you hastily moved to mimic the man. You pushed the door closed behind you, and followed Ren as he ascended a flight of hardwood stairs. While the entire place was modern and beautiful, it felt distinctly frigid. There wasn’t a single photograph anywhere, and hardly anything that could be considered decor. 

Now stepping into an open kitchen, Kylo set down the bags on a marble island. You danced at the edge of the room, unsure of what to do. Should you just start cooking? Maybe you should wait for the man to offer you a drink. Why did you have to go and open your useless big mouth and offer to cook Kylo dinner? This man partook in Michelin rated restaurants, and you were supposed to impress him with fucking _pasta_?

Completely oblivious to your internal debate, Kylo leaned against his counter and began to slowly unbutton his cuffs. His expensive cufflinks clattered against the hard surface. He looked to be deep in his own thoughts before piping up. “I’m going to change into something more comfortable. Would you - uh - like to borrow something? I’m assuming you don’t want to get that silk dirty?”

Mutely nodding, you watched as Kylo pushed himself off the counter and made his way towards you. Leading the way back into the hall, he took you up another flight of stairs and then into his bedroom. The man disappeared into a walk-in closet before emerging in soft sweats. The black French terry hung dangerously low on his hips, while his torso was snugly clad in a grey t-shirt. 

Handing you a soft cotton shirt, he shifted from foot to foot before awkwardly mentioning that he’d wait for you in the kitchen. You could have sworn that the man looked wistful before he closed the door behind him. 

You quickly shrugged on the top and felt like you were thirteen again with a school girl crush. Pushing the collar up to your nose, you inhaled a woodsy scent mixed with masculine cologne. Maybe you could find a way to suavely steal the shirt home at the end of the night. 

Rejoining Kylo’s in the kitchen, you noticed that he had organized and laid everything neatly on the counters. You smiled at the large man looking distinctly out of place and confused in his own kitchen.

“I’m guessing that you don’t cook much, sir?”

“Kylo.”

You placed a palm on then island and tilted your head.

Mr. Ren flexed his hand and crumpled one of the paper bags before awkwardly flattening it again. He continued, “Uh - when we’re in private you can call me Kylo. Strictly, uhm, out of the office is alright.”

You nodded and slowly slid over to join his side. Shoulders almost touching, you looked up and noticed that the man was purposefully avoiding eye contact.

Containing a smile, you murmured, “Okay, Kylo.”

You turned to grab some vegetables to wash, and didn’t notice him bite his lip.

“I think I like you better in this.” 

You turned in surprise and gasped as Kylo reached over to give the hem of your shirt a tug. You awkwardly murmured, “Well, I think I prefer this too. It’s definitely a lot more comfortable than what I normally wear!”

Ren wondered if he could instate casual Friday’s. Or maybe he’ll just keep you in his home wrapped up in his sweatshirts. With his top casually hanging off your shoulders, it almost looked as if you were _his_.

Shaking the dangerously inappropriate thought out of his head, he moved to help pull some pots out of a cupboard.

You didn’t comment on the fact that they were still wrapped in plastic.

* * *

Dinner was cooked and plated on China that seemed way too fine to be eating spaghetti on. You figured such was the life of Kylo Ren though. His dining table was simple - a square table with four matching mahogany seats. 

Sitting across from each other, you settled into pleasant, albeit surface, conversation. It was a difficult line to walk. While you were cozied up in Kylo’s clothing and enjoying a meal prepared together, he was still your boss. 

You weren’t sure how to navigate these waters. On one hand, the man had become increasingly _friendly_ , both in conversation and physically. It didn’t go unnoticed that Kylo’s hand would linger longer than necessary when on the small of your back. Or that he would find almost any excuse, no matter how small, to stand _directly_ behind you - close enough to rest his sturdy chest against your smaller frame.

You swore that at one point he was debating with himself whether or not to feed you a strawberry by hand.

Yet, at the same time, he never explicitly stated that this was anything remotely like a date. Perhaps you were reading too much into it. After all, how was this any different than the way you’d curl up by Poe’s side during movie nights? Or how Finn would rest a comforting arm around your shoulders whenever you two would walk side-by-side. You certainly have stolen enough sweaters from both men to keep you warm for several winters.

Kylo’s voice snapped your attention right back to reality.

“Do you have plans this Saturday? There’s a work function I need to attend, and I was thinking it would be a great opportunity for you to network.”

“Oh! Actually, I made plans with my friends. But, uhm, if this is work related I could always cancel.”

Kylo frowned, feeling like he was being turned down gently. After all, you did explicitly state that you would only cancel your plans if the event were “ _work related_ ”.

He wiped the edge of his lip with a napkin, and set it down. Face set slightly stonier, he brusquely replied, “No. No need to change your plans.”

Just like the that subject was closed and Kylo silently stood to grab dessert from the fridge.

You absentmindedly wiped your hands on your thighs, feeling like you had done something wrong. Everything had been going so well. Was it because you were busy on Saturday?

Kylo returned with strawberries and cream, and set the bowls down between the both of you. He silently dug in, and you noticed that his fists were clenched.

“Uhm, sir. I mean, Kylo...”

He looked up, and was met with the sight of your downcast eyes and teeth chewing on your bottom lip.

“Yes?” Kylo’s voiced sounded like gravel.

You tugged at your sleeve and whispered, “I would have loved to go with you - uhm - if I didn’t have plans. I could still go...but my friends already prepared...I mean...”

Kylo swallowed a grin as he watched a delectable blush spread over your cheeks. There was his little mouse. He finished his bite and replied, “It’s fine, I understand. Now, why don’t you try one of these strawberries?”

Spearing the red fruit with the end of his fork and rolling it into some cream, Kylo reached over and brought it up to your mouth. Tentatively wrapping your lips around it, you tugged the strawberry off.

Kylo watched your movements with an unyielding gaze as he drank in the way your tongue danced out to taste some cream. A bit of the sweet dessert dribbled out, and his thumb grazed the top of your skin to pick up the topping. Slipping the digit into his mouth, smirked at your shocked expression as the man licked it off. 

Your fingers flew up to touch the edge of your lips, and you scolded yourself for imagining Kylo’s lips lingering there instead of his thumb. The mood immediately shifted, and Kylo felt his shoulders tense as he slowly leaned forward. Like a magnet chasing it’s opposite, his body seemed to move against its will as he inched himself closer. 

He tilted his head sideways, and felt his mind split apart between the desire to finally take what he wanted, and the fear of the ensuing consequences. Suddenly, fate made the decision for him, as your phone chirped. 

A shaky stream of air escaped your lips as you slowly reached over to grab your phone. Kylo’s large palm covered yours as he breathed, “Don’t. Just...I need a minute...” You rolled your wrist to move your palm upwards, and felt Kylo’s flush against your own. Eyes quietly pleading, he slowly wove his fingers into yours.

“Kylo?”

He closed his eyes and felt the warmth of another hand in his. How long had it been since he had felt a touch so gentle. It was as if you were reaching into his soul, and pulling out emotions he hadn’t dealt with in years. You began to gently squeeze the space between his thumb and index finger, and smiled as the man sighed in relaxation. 

“I was thinking that...”

That what? You should kiss? Stay the night? Go on a proper date? Kylo was losing his mind, and losing control of himself. His fondness for you had blindsided Kylo, and it felt like he was drowning as tidal wave after tidal wave of sentiment threatened to drown the man. 

He tugged on your hand and slowly lifted to bring the back against his plump lips. You watched in awe as he pressed a chaste kiss against your skin, and felt electricity jump through your skin. Your voice was barely audible as you murmured, “What were you thinking, Kylo?”

“...that you and I could...”

Your phone shrieked once again, and you flinched back in surprise. You pouted, “I’m sorry, I think I should get this. They’ve called twice already.” 

Kylo groaned and released your hand to sit back. He eyed the device in annoyance, and his eyes darkened as soon as you answered:

“Hello? Oh, hey Poe. What’s up?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Screams*
> 
> I'm the worst, but I _promise_ that things will move along between our reader and Kylo! I just feel like since she works underneath Mr. Ren, they'd both be tentative about bridging the gap between coworkers and lovers. Plus, I kind of like a _little_ bit of tension. 
> 
> I'm not sure whether or not I should write smut into this. Everything's been pretty sweet and innocent so far, but I could totally see Kylo taking things further. Any thoughts?


	9. No Pumpkins For Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We finally head to the Lincoln Center gala!

Saturday afternoon whizzed by in a daze of sequins, hairspray, and the ridiculously loud singing of Mariah Carey songs. Rose belted out the lyrics to “Always Be My Baby” while she expertly twisted strands of your silken hair together for a beautiful updo. Equal parts elegant and modern, you looked like a contemporary New York princess.

The unlocked front door burst open to reveal two very dapper men spilling into the room. Decked out in tuxedos, Finn and Poe dramatically strutted into the living room while posing like models.

Despite holding bobby pins in between your lips, you still managed to laugh at the two boys. Although they were horsing around, you had to admit that they looked astonishingly handsome. Poe did wear suits to work, but his typically unruly hair was slicked back for a look that rivaled Elvis. Finn was the biggest pleasant shock of the two. You had never seen him in anything more formal than a polo, and here he was looking like Prince Charming.

Rose whistled and then scolded the boys to settle down. Giving your hair one last flourish of hairspray, she turned you around to admire her work.

“You look like such a heart breaker!”

Whining at Rose, you covered your face for a split second before she tugged your hands away. Tsking, she scolded, “You’re going to ruin your makeup!”

“And we don’t want that. You look very pretty tonight,” Poe smoothly jumped in. 

You boxed his shoulder, and the man returned with a wink. Soon, the room was a flurry of strapping on stilettos that were much too high and scrambling for last minute odds and ends.

Satisfied that everything was in order, everyone piled into a cab and drove off into the night.

* * *

The four of you arrived at the steps of Lincoln Center, and you audibly gasped at the transformation. Large tents had been erected over the fountain, and outdoor area was turned into a reception hall. The hem of your dress billowed in the wind as you stepped out from the car. Rose followed after, and then the boys moved to stand by your sides. 

Finn had his arm wrapped around Rose’s waist, while your own hand was tightly gripping Poe’s elbow. The four of you gradually made your way up the steps and you hummed in excitement as the sound of live classical music flitted through the air. All around, the elite of New York were donned in the most fabulous gowns and suits as they mingled with one another. Moving through the throngs of chattering individuals, you couldn’t help but feel a spark of hope and excitement. 

Stars glimmered above your head as Poe lead you through the crowd. Every once in a while, the man would get stopped and he’d introduce you as his dear friend. You hadn’t realized how powerful the man was. To you, he was just Poe. The charming and ridiculously funny upstairs neighbor who once kicked you off a chair in an attempt to fight for the best seat during movie night. The man was understated, choosing to live with a roommate in an affordable neighborhood. Outside of work, he donned humble attire and proudly wore his leather jacket until it was as thin as paper. In fact, he didn’t buy a new one until Finn stole it and forced Poe’s hand.

To others though, he was Mr. Dameron. Decorated ex-military pilot who continued to serve others as President of Resistance Tech. He stood at the helm of a company that was half business and half philanthropy. He championed a new generation of technology that saved lives. Work done at the Resistance went to creating the most advanced in medical devices that were available. Who knew how many owed their lives to the efforts of Poe Dameron and those who labored alongside the man?

What you loved the most about your friend was that he never once made you feel lesser. 

You looked up as Poe tugged on your arm and pushed you towards the bar. Leaning against the wooden top, he gestured for two gin and tonics before blowing out a long breath of air.

“I forgot how much I hate these things.”

He laughed as you rolled your eyes. The man may not be the type to flaunt his wealth, but nobody could deny the fact that he loved attention. The barkeep returned with two cold glasses, and you delicately sipped on your drink.

At some point Finn and Rose had disappeared, and you made a mental note to interrogate your roommate tomorrow. For now though, you were content to get a little tipsy and savor the rest of the evening.

Just as you finished the last of your drink, you heard a strong feminine voice ask for a whiskey neat. A petite woman with greying hair elegantly pulled into a bun stood to your right. Noticing your expression of amusement, the woman laughed and replied, “I need to take the edge off. These sort of events are the _worst!_ ”

Poe bellowed and gave the woman a hug. Pulling back, he nudged you forward and introduced you first before continuing, “...and this is Leia, CEO of Resistance Tech.”

You gaped in awe of the strong female leader before you. She exuded everything you wished to be - poise, intelligence, and humor. The woman gave you a once over and smirked, “It looks like you’re in need of some alcohol as well.”

Tapping the bar top, she ordered two more whiskeys - one for yourself and one for Poe. 

Just as Poe grabbed the amber glass, someone interrupted and pulled your friend away for yet another introduction. You suddenly felt shy as Leia scrutinized you with a silent gaze. This was the Leia Organa. After retiring from her career in politics as a senator, she joined her brother in pioneering Resistance Tech to where it was today. A stupid voice in the back of your head wasn’t even nervous from the woman’s accolades and intelligence. 

Your palms were sweating because this was Kylo Ren’s _mother_. The only thing you could think of doing was downing your whisky in three large gulps. 

“I like you.” Leia voiced in amusement. She continued, “So, are you in the tech industry as well?”

“In a way, yes. But not in any important capacity like yourself or Poe. I’m - uh - a personal assistant over at First Order Industries.”

You wondered if her eyes paled at the fact that you were an assistant or at the mention of your place of employment. Leia shifted the liquid in her glass around and inquired, “There is no role in business that is too small. Individuals such as yourself keep the company alive.”

You smiled as the woman gave you a gentle squeeze on the arm. You could tell that she was struggling to say something more, so you returned her touch with a press of your own.

Momentarily pausing, Leia set her glass down before inquiring, “May I ask who you work for at the Order?”

“Uhm, Mr. Ren is my boss.”

You misunderstood Leia’s softened expression and hurried to explain, “Oh, but he’s nothing like the rumors! He’s an excellent boss, and quite kind to me. But I’m sure you already know that he’s a nice guy! You must be so proud!”

The older woman nodded and gave a soft smile. She quietly replied, “It’s been a long time since I’ve heard someone speak so kindly of...the man.”

“I think people just need to give him a chance.”

Leia looked at you in surprise and grinned. She gave you another pat on the arm. “Well, I’m glad that he’s not living up to his reputation.” Giving you a quick wink, the woman excused herself and disappeared into the crowd.

You looked around for Poe and saw him sidled up to a leggy model, and rolled your eyes as his hand slid somewhere south of her backside. Downing a third drink for courage, you decided to brave the crowd and mingle on your own.

The night wasn’t a complete loss despite being abandoned by your friends. You were able to network as intended, and even met a magazine editor who was interested in seeing your portfolio. Feeling high on a sense of accomplishment for being more courageous than usual, you gave yourself a pat on the back before stumbling indoors to find a restroom. 

Wandering back out into a foyer, you enjoyed a moment of peace. Most guests were outdoors enjoying their revelry, and it felt oddly intriguing to watch through a window.

You continued to soak in the music muffled by glass, when a hand slipped down your spine. You stumbled backwards in surprise and felt the wide plane of a chest press back against you. A chin rested at your neck and you felt a puff of air as a deep voice rumbled, “I thought you were supposed to be out with friends?”

One of Ren’s favorite squeaks escaped your lips and the large man turned your body to face his torso. Looking up into Kylo’s eyes, his brown pupils were warm as he reached over the play with the soft curls that had escaped your updo.

“I am with friends.” You shakily breathed.

He tilted his head and pretended to look around in curiosity. “I don’t see anyone here.”

You pulled your lips between your teeth and whispered, “I thought _we_ were friends?”

The man laughed and ran a hand through his long locks. “Is that what we are now?”

You shakily placed a hand against his chest and played with the lapel of his tuxedo. Of course the man would don a black shirt and black bow tie to complete his dark ensemble. Kylo’s eyes narrowed and he stepped so close you had to arch your neck to meet his fiery gaze.

“Can’t we be friends? At least out of the office?” You stuttered.

He smirked and basked in the feeling of your small palms running up and down his chest. Ren placed a hand against your neck and leaned down to press a warm kiss against your cheek. His lips barely grazed the edge of your own, and he murmured, “We’ll see about that.”

Kylo pulled back and walked away before he lost control of himself. You were left standing in awe and confusion as a hand carefully traced the hot skin that Kylo had touched.

It took a few minutes before you could compose yourself and return to the party. By now the night was winding down and only a handful of guests were left at the venue. Frantic waving caught your attention, and you laughed at the sight of Rose bobbing up and down with her hand in the air. You noticed that Finn was holding onto the woman just a _little_ bit closer than before. Poe was also eyeing the newfound intimacy with eyes full of mirth.

You ran up to the trio, and stumbled at the last minute. Maybe your shouldn’t have had so much to drink, but at least your body waited until the end of the night to get sloppy. Poe chuckled and reached around your waist to steady your swaying figure. Slotted in tightly next to the man, you leaned your head against Poe and muttered, “This is all your fault. I hope that Brazilian model was worth it.”

Poe craned his head to look down at you in amusement. Leaning down, he pressed this forehead against yours and teased, “I’m not sure yet, but I’ll find out next weekend.”

By this point, he was practically carrying your entire weight as you laughed into his chest. 

Suddenly, a prickling sensation tickled the back of your neck, and you inexplicably felt yourself sobering up. 

Whipping your head around, your eyes widened in fear as an enraged Kylo Ren fell into eyesight. He was staring you down as Poe held you against his side. How long had he been watching? Even though _you_ knew nothing would ever happen between yourself and Poe, even you had to admit it sure didn’t _look_ like it at the moment. 

Kylo’s knuckles turned white against the glass he was holding. He stared in furious silence as Poe lazily rubbed a hand against your back. Jealously poisoned the depth of Kylo’s gut as he watched Poe wrap his arms around what was not his to have.

To make matters worse, the ex-pilot turned in time notice Kylo’s intense glare. Smirking in response, Poe pressed a kiss against your temple and proceeded to literally sweep you off your feet. Ignoring your protests, the man held you close to his chest, and disappeared down the steps with you tightly pressed against his body.

You could have sworn that you heard the sound of breaking glass behind you. You couldn’t know for sure though. It was muffled by the clicks of camera shutters as the press swarmed Poe and yourself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who continues to leave comments and kudos! <3 After reading your responses last chapter, I will definitely be kicking up the rating soon. Unfortunately, I already wrote out quite a few chapters and needed to move along the plot a little bit before anything happens. You won't know when or where, but the smut is coming ;)


	10. Action and Reaction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo confronts what transpired at the gala.

Monday morning came, and Kylo paced his office in agitation. He had arrived at an ungodly hour, unable to sleep in his own home as the image of Poe Dameron’s forehead pressed against your own flashed in his memory. To see another man so _intimate_ with his assistant unleashed a tsunami of fury and jealousy unlike any Ren had ever experienced.

He had been a fool to allow you into his life like this. To think that he risked his career and title. All for what? The fickle and fleeting touch of a woman? A _little mouse?_

To add insult to injury, you were wrapped around _Poe Dameron_. Kylo snarled and flung a paperweight against the wall. He thought about that night in his dining room. How close you were. How close _he_ was. The way your lips pouted in anticipation of a kiss.

And then Dameron had to go and ruin the moment. Neither of you had recovered. The call acting as cold water being doused on your heads. Immediately afterwards you resumed all professionalism, and soon thereafter excused yourself to go home. You wouldn’t even allow him to pay for the cab.

When he saw the pilot clutching onto your waist, it all clicked. And Kylo seethed at the sight of his mother’s golden boy holding onto the only woman Kylo had ever wanted. Was it not enough for Poe to step in and replace Kylo in his own mother’s life? Now he had the audacity to take the only thing to bring Kylo joy since that fortuitous night in which his father...

No. Now was not the time to rehash the past.

His head snapped up as the sound of elevator doors sliding hissed. Kylo waited until he was sure you had settled into your seat before snatching up his copy of the New York Post. 

Tossing his door open, Ren stormed over to your desk. Throwing the paper onto the table, he violently ripped it open to reveal Page Six. The title boldly screamed, “ _New York’s Most Desired Bachelor Finally Finds Love_ ”. Underneath was a photograph of Poe holding you in his arms as he descended the steps. The fountain arched water in the background, creating a halo as light danced against the liquid. You thought that the entire scene would have looked dreamy and romantic...if you weren’t in the photograph grasping onto Poe’s shirt.

The words written underneath the photograph only made matters worse.

 _Poe Dameron, President of Resistance Tech, is popular for his charm, wit, and reputation as an unattainable bachelor. It seems as if our famous pilot has finally found “the one” as he was caught exiting this year’s Lincoln Center gala with a stunning beauty in his arms! Our mysterious princess is still unnamed, but sources saw the new couple cozied up all night by the bar. Where will we spot the newest “it” couple next?_

“Oh no! No, no, _no!_ ” You cried out as your hands flew to cover your mouth. Ren snatched the paper back up and threw it across the way. Paper fluttered in the air and scattered all around the room.

Grabbing your wrist, the man tugged you out of your seat and pushed your frame against the wall. Pressing against your trembling body, he hissed, “Was this your endgame? Were you just another social climbing _whore_ hoping to bed the first wealthy man you could find?”

“No! That’s not true!” You cried out. Kylo wrapped your wrists in each hand and ignored your tiny fists thrashing.

“Are you a spy for the Resistance? Did Leia send you? Or was this all a joke so you could run back to Poe and laugh at my expense?”

Tears spilled from your eyes as Kylo looked on in cold and calculated indifference. You sobbed, “It’s not like that! I didn’t know...about Poe’s...job. We’re not...he’s not interested...I...he’s just a friend!”

Kylo pressed his face against yours and gave a dry laugh. “A friend, huh? Just like how we’re ‘friends’ correct?”

“No! I don’t...” Your voice hitched and you decided that you had nothing to lose anyways. At this point, you’d be surprised if Kylo didn’t fire you on the spot.

Your breath stuttered in between sobs. Voice barely above a whisper, you continued, “I don’t care for him the way I care for you.”

Fire flashed in Kylo’s eyes as he stepped back. You rubbed the raw flesh around your wrists, and shivered. _This_ was the version of Mr. Ren that Poe had warned you against. 

Kylo all but snarled, “Explain yourself.”

“It was never about being friends! Being friends was an excuse I could give myself so I wouldn’t have to face the feelings I had developed for you...so that I wouldn’t misconstrue your kindness and mislead myself into thinking that...”

You began to sob so hard that your chest shook with each breath. Face shoved into your palms, you cried, “I’m _so_ sorry, Mr. Ren. It was completely inappropriate for me to have romantic feelings for a superior. I’ll put in my notice immediately. I’ll quit and pretend this never happened.”

Ren watched on in horror as your red eyes compressed and tears streaked with mascara slid down your cheeks. This was his fault. He had nobody to blame but himself. You were broken because of _him_. This was so like him - allowing his emotions to control his actions. Lashing out before he could think properly. This was why he could never have anything decent nor lovely in his life. Anything worth having would always be ruined at his hands...his temper...his lack of control.

He was so undeserving of you. So unworthy of your affection and gentleness. Your innocence. 

Kylo bent over to lift you up into his arms bridal style. Walking towards his office, he nudged the door open with a foot before kicking it shut. After locking the door, he moved towards a sofa usually reserved for guests.

The burgundy leather creaked underneath his weight as he sat first and then pulled you into his lap. Your legs sprawled across his thighs as he pulled your side against his chest. Brushing your hair back with a hand, he gently wiped underneath your cheeks with the side of his sleeve.

You hiccuped, “No! Your shirt! It’ll get dirty!” 

Kylo gave a sad laugh. Of course you’d still think of him first, even after he spewed a steady string of abuse at you. Kylo would gladly sacrifice a thousand Thom Browne shirts if it meant he could stop the tears from falling. He gently tipped his head to rest a forehead against your own. Running a wide hand up and down your back, he patiently waited for your breathing to level out. Satisfied that you were finally calm, Ren spoke up. 

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have lost my tempter without talking to you first. You have to understand...something about you...disarms me. I haven’t felt affection in many years. Not in the way that I care for you. I panicked, and was unfair to you.” 

You gasped as Kylo slowly moved to slide his head down towards your neck. Resting in the small space just above your shoulder, he murmured into your skin.

“Please, don’t give up on me.”

Pulling backwards a little, you looked up at the man. His eyes were pleading and dark, and the vulnerability was palpable. Shakily raising your arms, you cupped his face and replied, “I don’t think I could ever give up on you.” 

Quick as a flash, Ren reached up to grip the back of your head. Pulling you forward, he crashed into you for a searing kiss. You were so close, and he could feel your lips as they quivered against his own. Your petite hands fisted at his shirt, and Kylo groaned at the feeling of your legs rubbing against his body. A small voice in his head cheered in triumph. After so many years of depriving himself, you were worth the wait. You were worth every lonely night and every missed opportunity. 

After all, you were _his_ little mouse. And he’d do whatever he could to make sure you would never shed a tear again. 

You began to shift upwards to straddle his hips when Kylo pulled away and halted your movements. He was embarrassed by how hard he was panting - like a pre-pubescent boy finally kissing for the first time. Running his hand through his hair, he murmured, “I...I want to. But not here. I’m not fooling around with my personal assistant in our goddamn office.”

Giggling at Kylo, you thought it was rather cute that he wasn’t above smashing company property and throwing his computer mouse at Mitaka’s head, but found kissing you inappropriate. You nudged Kylo and shyly ventured, “So...that means that...there’s a chance...?” 

Ren draped an arm around your torso and pulled your head against his shoulder. He darkly muttered, “If I haven’t already fucked things up beyond repair, then yeah. I want to try...us.” 

You laughed at his wording. Turning to face Kylo, you teased, “I’ve love to try ‘us’ out.” 

The man growled into the side of your head. “You know what I mean. Keep up this attitude and I’ll make you file Mitaka’s memos.” 

He paused for a moment and lowered his voice a little. Kylo continued, “But yeah...I like the idea of an ‘us’.” 

It took you a good thirty minutes to tidy yourself up. Cleaning off the mascara was easy. What made it difficult was Kylo pawing at your hips and smattering kisses along your face while you maneuvered a makeup removing wipe across your skin.

“Stop that, Kylo! You’re so impatient!” 

He growled into your ear and wrapped a thick arm around your waist. “I’ve been nothing but patient for _months_. I’m done waiting.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys. I don't want to be a drama queen, but I'm seriously so blown away for all of the love for this fic. The comments and kudos make me want to act dumb and skip around while clapping my hands IRL.
> 
> Also, I know that Kylo went a little bit HAM in this chapter. I feel like a combination of always getting his way, a reactionary personality, and his feelings for the reader would make him act impulsively. His need for control and anger is definitely something that he'll be working on in the future. 
> 
> Coming up: Kylo learns how to deal with being in a relationship, while Poe, Finn, and Rose have some shenanigans up their sleeves. Also, my favorite roster of year end holidays are upon us (and our favorite couple)!
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! Sending you all so much love <3


	11. An Exposition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We go on our first date with the one and only Mr. Ren!

Tuesday morning, a blue velvet box of white roses greeted you. They sat prettily on your desk next to a card you recognized from Mr. Ren’s stash of personal stationary. He was one of those rare individuals who insisted on sending hand-written cards when the time called. You had often admired the box of heavyweight card stock tucked away inside his top drawer. A raised border danced around the edges, and the embossed image of a black sword and shield sat at the top of the sheet. 

_I’m must apologize in advance for my lack of availability this week. Perhaps you can join me for dinner this Friday? - Ben_

You smiled and hugged the card against your chest for a moment before hiding it in your purse. After deciding to give dating a chance, you both had agreed to keep the relationship under wraps. Human Resources would totally explode at the relationship, and you collectively shuddered at the idea of Phasma’s fury while writing up the paperwork. Plus, you wanted to savor the relationship for a moment without the judgement of your friends. And by “friends”, you namely meant Poe. 

Kylo had come up with the idea of using a faux name when referencing him. So, you happily reported to your friends that your new boyfriend was a man named “Ben” who worked somewhere on Wall Street. Luckily, nobody prodded for too many details other than how you met (at the corner coffeeshop). Generally speaking, the gang was relatively happy for you, and understood your desire to “get to know the guy” before introducing him to everyone. 

The only exception was Rose. She wasn’t just happy for you. She was _ecstatic_. She nearly burst a lung from squealing when you brought home the roses. 

_“OH MY GOD. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THESE ARE?”_

“Flowers?” 

Rose squeed again and practically drooled over the box. Gingerly thumbing a single petal, she let out a wistful sigh and whispered in awe, “These aren’t just flowers. They’re _eternity roses_. They’ll last for at least a _year_. A large box like this is at least six hundred dollars!”

It was your turn to screech. You paled thinking about how you set the box on the dirty subway floor during your commute home. You even put your lunch bag on top of the thing! 

Wednesday was no better. 

A gigantic box of Pierre Marcolini chocolates sat in your seat. Flown in directly from Belgium, you didn’t dare wonder how much _that_ cost. Another card was tucked inside the brown box.

_Friday feels too far away. Here’s something sweet to distract you in the meantime. - Ben_

You tucked this one away as well and giggled like a schoolgirl. The gifts were over the top, but the sentiment was appreciated. 

Despite his initial...hands-on approach to you on Monday morning, he had quickly reverted back to stoic professionalism. Sure, Kylo hadn’t dumped a single cup of coffee since you kissed, but he was still gruff and didn’t hesitate to pile work on your desk. 

Not that you would have expected special treatment. But the little reminders that Monday hadn’t been a dream were appreciated. 

To make matters more difficult, he had begun an expansive and monumental deal with an unnamed government agency. That meant higher stress, longer hours, and nerves on edge. Being his personal secretary, you sadly got a firsthand experience as to why he was notoriously single and temperamental for so long. Kylo’s hours were inhumane, and the amount of paperwork you kept ferrying to him was monumental.

The fact that he even took the effort to shoot you a text message here and there was already touching. Upon returning home last night, Kylo had even called to say goodnight while in bed. You didn’t get to talk much though. The man had quickly fallen asleep on the line, and you couldn’t bring yourself to hang up. You ended up drifting off alongside the sounds of his deep breathing and soft snores.

Thursday’s gift was thankfully less ostentatious. A unicorn shaped mug was laid next to some limited edition Nespresso pods. It seemed as if Ren had caught onto you stealing coffee from his personal machine. You felt no remorse though. If the man was going to send you on a wild goose chase all over Manhattan for coffee when he had a perfectly good two-hundred dollar machine sitting _five feet away_...well, it was the least he could do.

_Sorry about throwing your coffees away. I can be a jerk sometimes. - Ben_

You laughed and tucked the pods into a bottom drawer.

Friday finally arrived. Today’s gift left you confused, but it was still beautiful nonetheless. You opened up a small unmarked box, and a tiny silver flathead screwdriver sat inside of it. A finger traced the edges of an engraving - today’s date.

_It feels like the first day of the rest of my life. P.S. Bring the screwdriver with you tonight. - Ben_

You would have been all nerves if Mr. Ren was in the office. Thankfully, he was taking offsite meetings, meaning you could spend the day texting back and forth with Rose regarding what to wear. Since the boss was out of the office, you packed up early and made it home by five. 

The moment you walked into the apartment, Rose all but wrestled you into the bathroom. She began an assault upon your hair, and sang to herself as she applied the perfect winged eyeliner. Thirty minutes later, and she stepped back to admire her work. 

“This Ben guy is _so_ lucky I’m in your life. You look like a freaking model!” Patting some highlighter on your cheeks she giggled, “Maybe he should send _me_ some flowers.”

You laughed and threw your arms around your best friend. “I love you, Rose.” 

“I know.”

* * *

You waited on the corner of Lexington and 21st while playing with the strap of your purse. Concerned that Poe would recognize Kylo if he rolled up to your apartment in his BMW, you insisted on arriving alone. Kylo had vaguely asked you to dress comfortably, so you decided on a leather jacket, white tee, and black skinny jeans with rips at the knee. Black boots finished the look, and Rose gushed that you looked equal parts nonchalant and sexy. 

Flinching at the sound of a chuckle coming from right behind your ear, you yelped as Kylo wrapped his arms around your waist. Nuzzling his nose into your hair, he laughed, “I guess great minds think alike?” 

Spinning around to face the man, you joined him in amusement. The man was also dressed in a leather jacket and dark jeans. The only difference was that his shirt was black. Gently weaving your fingers behind his neck, you tugged Kylo closer and arched onto the balls of your feet. Closing the distance, he pressed a soft kiss onto your lips and groaned into your mouth, “You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to have you in my arms again.” 

“Well, I’m here now.”

“And I’ll make every minute of it count.” 

He peppered a few more kisses along the bridge of your nose before grasping your hand and moving to cross the street. The two of you stopped in front of a gate, and Kylo turned to ask, “By the way, did you bring the screwdriver?” You nodded and handed him the smooth metal tool. Your eyes flitted between the man and the locked gate before gasping, “Kylo! Isn’t this a private park? We’re not breaking in, are we?” 

Kylo chuckled and shook his head. Pocketing the screwdriver, he replied, “Just saving this for later. He then pulled an antique looking iron key from his pocket and worked at opening the gate to Gramercy Park.

Kylo winked and added, “I borrowed this from a friend.” 

The gate swung open, and he continued to lead the way. A gravel path snaked between various trees and shrubbery, providing ample cover from outside eyes. Kylo’s footsteps ended as he stopped in the middle, just by a statue surrounded with flowers. You gasped at the sight of lights woven around the square, and a beautiful table in the middle set for two. A picnic basket sat at the floor, and you saw that he even made the effort to bring porcelain dishwater. 

You turned and tossed your arms around Kylo’s waist. He grinned into the top of your head, hiding the proud smile that stretched across his face. 

He had never been the type to pursue women, per se. He usually resorted to the bare minimum - dinner, a quick fuck, and then he was out the door. He _never_ brought women home, and _definitely_ didn’t call the next day. Yet, when you stumbled into his life, he was more than willing to break all of his rules. You had him scrambling: doing every idiotic, cheesy, and cliché act in the book. In fact, he was probably more excited about this date than the million dollar deal he was trying to close. 

In his eyes, you deserved more than just dinner.

You deserved to be courted.

Pulling out a chair, Kylo ushered you into a seat before sitting down across the table. Reaching into the interior pocket of his jacket, he pulled out a red box and nervously handed you a gift. The name “Cartier” was sprawled across the top in beautiful gold foil, and you audibly gasped as you lifted the lid to reveal a bangle made of white gold. Alternating in between each etched symbol sat a sparkling diamond. 

“Oh my God, Kylo. This...”

While going over some paperwork with Phasma, he had overheard a few of her colleagues cooing over one of the assistants. Apparently the girl had been gifted a necklace by her boyfriend, and the women were fawning over the jewelry. Kylo took one look at the woman’s awestruck and smitten face, and knew he wanted to see that expression painted on your pretty features. He immediately headed over to Cartier when he finished his meeting. Kylo normally bought his cufflinks there, so he figured they’d have something nice for you as well

Your eyes lifted to meet Kylo’s apprehensive expression. He had never shopped for another woman before, and was desperately seeking validation that he had made the correct choice. You looked back down at the bracelet and then back up again.

“Kylo, this is beautiful. But I can’t accept such an expensive gift...”

Kylo shyly grinned and reached over to pluck the bracelet from it’s satin bed. He gently tugged your wrist across the table and worked on securing the jewelry with the small screwdriver as he spoke. “Of course you can. At the very least, wear it for me? It’s nice knowing that you have a small reminder of me everyday.”

The last screw was tightened, and the bracelet sparkled. Kylo couldn’t hold back a toothy grin as he watched you turning your wrist this way and that to admire the new jewelry. 

“Thank you, Kylo. But you don’t have to keep buying me gifts. I’m happy just being with you.”

Kylo nodded and assured that he’d keep the gifting to a minimum - even thought he knew it was lie. Now that he had a taste of your surprised and excited expressions, he found himself rather enjoying having someone to spoil. What was ten thousand dollars to a CEO anyways?

Satisfied that you liked your present, he tugged out a few plates of sushi and then a bottle of sake. You bit your lip to hide a grin as you watched Kylo’s brow furrow in concentration while attempting to pile dishes on a table that was much too small. Finally happy with his arrangement, Kylo beamed and gestured for you to start. 

You were a mess of nerves. First dates were bad enough on their own without the added stress of being on one with a billionaire who happened to be your boss. Unbeknownst to you, Kylo was facing his own insecurities as he awkwardly dipped some salmon into soy sauce. Since joining the First Order, he hadn’t met anyone he actually wanted to get to know, and usually didn’t make small talk on a day-to-day basis. He wanted to throw caution to the wind and do something idiotic like ask you about your relationship with your parents. 

Part of him recoiled though, because that would mean allowing the question to be turned on him. He was such a hypocrite. A quiet jingle interrupted the silence, and you quickly fumbled with your bag to pull out your phone. 

“I’m so sorry! I thought I turned this thing off!” The black device danced in your hand as you quickly set it to vibrate. Just before sliding it back into your purse, you skimmed the text message. 

_Rose Tico | 7:02 PM | I hid some condoms in your purse just in case you’re not coming home tonight ;)_

If you didn’t love Rose so much, you’d fling the meddling woman into the Hudson River. Kylo watched your face bloom in embarrassment and inquired, “Everything alright? I almost regret giving you that phone. I swear that thing has a vendetta against me.” 

You laughed and immediately relaxed as the tension dissipated. “It’s just Rose. She’s - uh - just checking in on me.” Eager to change the subject in case Kylo had to audacity to ask _what_ your friend said, you quickly asked, “So, how did you start working at the Order?” 

Kylo flinched and carefully considered his answer. “The previous CEO was my mentor for the longest time. After I finished grad school, I joined the Order right away. When Snoke passed, I took over his position.”

“I remember reading about his illness. I’m so sorry.” 

Ren did everything in his power not to snort. People shouldn’t speak ill of the dead, but Kylo was jaded after being underneath Snoke’s suffocating hand for years. All of his life he had been controlled by those around him. First, by his parents as his mother attempted to mold him into the perfect shining example of a Senator’s son. An Ivy league education and perfect table manners couldn’t save him from the darkness inside though. All he had ever wanted was for his parents to love him the way he saw his friends being loved. 

He wanted a dad who would show up to his football matches, and a mom who would hold him during his first heartbreak. All he got were absentee parents. A father who bounced from country to country chasing adventure. A mother who was so preoccupied with her career that she sent nannies to every parent-teacher conference. 

Kylo lashed out in a cry for help. It started easily - drinking, fights, and stealing. But as his parents lost control of their son, they did the worst possible sin in Kylo’s eyes. 

They gave up on him.

And then he had met Snoke in undergrad. The man was already a legend in the business world: not only for his empire, but for his ruthless tactics as well. He promised Kylo power and prestige. If he couldn’t have the love of those around him, then he’d accept fear and admiration. 

So he turned on his family, and gave up everything for Snoke. It wasn’t until he was much older when he realized that the man was only manipulating Kylo. Using him for his familial connections and name. By then it was too late. Ren had become atuned to the harsh realities of life, and in far too deep. The only saving grace was that Snoke finally died before Kylo could lose himself further to the emptiness that raged inside.

Kylo clenched his fists and hissed. “Don’t be sorry. He wasn’t a good man.” 

Well, that wasn’t the answer you expected. You opted to mumble something noncommittal before shoveling some more raw fish into your mouth. Kylo sighed and gently set his chopsticks down. He stared off into the darkness for a moment before whispering to you. 

“I didn’t expect our first date to get so heavy, but I guess there isn’t a better time to tell you this.”

You mimicked Kylo’s actions and set your own utensils down. Your voice betrayed your emotions as you shakily replied, “Tell me what?” 

Placing his elbows on the table, Kylo threaded his fingers together and rested his chin on his hands. He scrutinized your concerned features - eyes cast in darkness. 

“First and foremost, I don’t want you to misunderstand. I care for you deeply. More than I have for another in a long time...but just because I’m _nice_ to you, it doesn’t mean I’m a nice person.”

Pressure pushed against your chest. “What do you mean?”

“At work, I prosper from the death and destruction caused by war. I build weapons. I hurt people. On a personal level, I do not enjoy keeping friends, and my parents might as well be dead to me. If you’re looking for someone to fill you’re life with an abundance of Hallmark moments, then you’ll be thoroughly disappointed in our relationship.” 

You pushed the chopsticks around the table and watched them tumble into each other. “Okay.” 

Ren laughed and rubbed his hands against his face. “Okay? I basically tell you that I’m a monster, and you’re answer is ‘okay’?”

“Well, I don’t think your job has any bearing on who you are. I work at First Order as well, and I’m don’t think I’m a terrible person. Although I don’t know what happened between you and your parents...I guess I kind of understand. I don’t exactly have the best relationship with my own family. And...I just...” 

Kylo reached over and lightly pulled your hand into his own. Emboldened by the way he gently squeezed your hand you continued, “I just want to be with _you_. Whatever that may mean. Life is ugly, I get it. I know it firsthand. But you don’t have to do it alone. I already said that I wasn’t giving up on you.” 

Kylo’s breath stuttered as he stood to launch himself at you. You shrieked in surprise as the man knocked over his chair and jerked you up and into his arms. He pulled your legs up and around his waist while firmly grabbing your bottom. His tongue raked against your lips and his teeth clashed against your mouth. It was as if kissing you was like finally breathing. 

The man growled into your mouth, “Good. Because I’m never letting you out of my sight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Since a lot of outfits, gifts, and etc. are based on real-life things, I thought I could try something out and add some links to what the items look like. I'm not really "tech savvy" (lol, I swear I'm not _that_ old) so please let me know if I'm doing this wrong!
> 
> \- [Kylo's Date Outfit (with a black shirt instead)](https://drive.google.com/open?id=18G1kgDfyMyxBRhIiuQG5pFk99n0Fv_tj)  
> \- [Your Date Outfit](https://drive.google.com/open?id=1qPbOX1HCktKPQA4p6EPhl48ImBHALp7T)  
> \- [Gramercy Park Date Spot](https://drive.google.com/open?id=1fYigU1NDP9Y7blq1HJHr8fWFMPLLegY3)  
> \- [Roses](https://drive.google.com/open?id=1M2_K4B2DwUsL4NtpLw6A_DVB2d4g5axP)  
> \- [Cartier Bracelet](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1S5Mgt3FU1XZVgQEpj-2YGOZ2n0eURGSf/view)  
> \- [Pierre Marcolini Chocolates (P.S. I would actually really recommend their chocolates if you like dark chocolate)](https://drive.google.com/open?id=1iyhRTS7DwcleG9F2tsJL5RfQfIoOnNlD)  
> \- [Unicorn Mug](https://drive.google.com/open?id=13KPSdD6kKAGNhjRz3v9oAX0pKcp7hS4H)
> 
> Also, feel free to let me know if you'd prefer I add links into the story or here at the end. I'm really not sure what's the norm or what will make reading easier. And if this works out, I'll go back and add images to past chapters as well. Thanks for reading :)


	12. Dust Yourself Off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo realizes that he made a mistake.

Despite the turbulent conversation shared during your first date, things settled into a routine rather quickly with Kylo. He’d steal a covert kiss from you first thing in the morning upon arriving to the office, and then hole away as he plugged away at the computer. Things at work proceeded per usual, with the exception of joining Mr. Ren for takeout in the privacy of his office whenever he was available. You both decided that going out to eat during office hours was too risky.

At night, you’d leave separately and share a quick peck in the privacy of his elevator. His career changing deal was really eating up all of his time, and you tried your best not feel resentful. Try as you might though, it was impossible to ignore the fact that three weeks had passed since your first date, and there didn’t seem to be a second on the horizon. 

Kylo did his best to soothe you though. Sometimes he’d send food to your place at night, or leave little trinkets at your desk. Despite the intensity of his workload, he’d still call every night to say goodnight. And of course, there were the small handwritten notes hidden all around your workspace to find during the day. 

Yet, it was becoming harder and harder to push down the disappointment bubbling inside of you. No amount of gifts could make up for Kylo’s absence. Were you crazy for just wanting to curl up in his sweats and watch Netflix?

It was midday, and you were slumped over in your chair. Maybe you should be more understanding. Kylo Ren was a busy man after all...

Your work phone buzzed.

_Rose Tico | 4:26 PM | Yeeeeees, it’s finally Friday. Got plans with the man tonight?_

You felt yourself die a little from embarrassment. Rose was your best friend, and she’d never judge you. Even then, her silent concern grew each day you returned home alone with a shake of your head. 

_PA3281 | 4:27 PM | I’ve been working so much this week, I think I might just crash at home tonight. I’m exhausted._

Three dots danced across the screen for a few minutes, and you knew that Rose was debating whether or not she was about to lay some truth bombs down. Knowing the scrappy woman though - you were definitely about to get lectured. You probably deserved it.

_Rose Tico | 4:31 PM | Look, I know this is none of my business...but you’re my best friend so I’m going to make it my business..._

_Rose Tico | 4:32 PM | You have a right to say something to your boyfriend. It’s not okay that he doesn’t spend time with you. It’s been three weeks girl._

_Rose Tico | 4:33 PM | Three. Fucking. Weeks._

_Rose Tico | 4:34 PM | That shit ain’t okay. He needs to make time for you. I don’t care how many fucking expensive chocolates he buys you. That’s not the same as participating in a relationship. You deserve to be treated well. Like, emotionally, too._

Tears pooled at the edge of your eyes. Three weeks _was_ a long time to bury your feelings, and to have someone call them out made the hurt a reality. Fingers shaking, you quickly typed out a reply.

_PA3281 | 4:35 PM | You’re right. I just don’t know how to bring it up. He’s so busy, and I feel selfish for wanting more time._

You didn’t have time to read Rose’s response, as Kylo called you into his office. Quickly drying your eyes, you pushed down the hem of your skirt and walked into the room. The man looked up as you entered and grinned when he saw you. 

“Hey, could you run these down to Mitaka for me? I need Hux to sign off on some of the financials.” 

You nodded, and then snatched the files up before scampering out of the office. Ren frowned - something felt off. He’d never seen you disappear from his sight so quickly before, and your typically cheerful demeanor seemed clouded over. A muffled ring sounded from outside, and he realized that you had run off without your phone. 

Curiosity getting the better of him, Kylo slowly stood and stretched. Maybe he’d just pass by your desk, and _maybe_ he’d unwittingly see who was texting you. Accidents happen everyday, right? He lumbered his way towards the phone, and paused at the glass table. 

Fuck, what was he doing? Kylo trusted you. He wouldn’t betray that just to snoop around your stuff. If something was wrong, you’d tell him, right? Just as he was about to turn around, the phone lit up again and his eyes scanned the screen on instinct. 

_Rose Tico | 4:38 PM | Don’t you fucking dare blame yourself for being treated like crap._

_Rose Tico | 4:39 PM | Ben should be the one feeling bad. He’s the shitty boyfriend ignoring his girlfriend after one fucking date._

Kylo clenched his fists and resisted the urge to fling your phone against the wall. How did he mess things up so quickly? Sure he was busy, but he just assumed that everything was fine. But maybe that was where he went wrong - just assuming everything was okay, when he knew you were too fucking nice to say anything if it wasn’t. You’d let the man get away with murder. A small voice in the back of his mind quietly whispered that he wasn’t worthy. That he was undeserving. He quickly stormed back to his office and threw himself into his seat. 

He hated to admit it, but Kylo Ren didn’t know how to be a boyfriend. 

“Fuck.” He muttered underneath his breath. 

Twenty minutes later, you hurried back to the forty-fifth floor and felt your heart sink at Mr. Ren’s empty office. Peeking into the darkened room, you frowned at the barren desk. Noticing that both his blazer and wallet were missing, you figured he’d be gone for the day. You felt hurt and disappointed at the fact that the man didn’t even say goodbye. Gently closing the door, you shuffled back to your desk and returned to silently filing papers.

* * *

Five-thirty arrived, and Mr. Ren was still nowhere to be seen. You resisted the urged to text him, not wanting to overstep any boundaries in case the man had left for something work related such as an emergency board meeting. You figured that this was probably the expected norm of dating such an important individual. 

The air was starting to catch a crisp as the season turned, but the chill didn’t bother you in the least. It was only a signal of an impending roster of holidays you loved dearly. Although you didn’t spend the season with relatives, you filled it with a family all of your own. You looked forward to Thanksgiving with the gang, Secret Santa, apple picking, and a variety of other events to pepper the calendar with. 

Pulling a silk scarf around your neck, you bundled up and started the walk home. Sometimes you liked to walk a few extra blocks before finally heading down into the subway. After sitting for so long during the day, it was nice to stretch your legs out. Continuing to window shop in peace, you were suddenly interrupted by the call of your name.

Turning towards the voice, you smiled at the sight of Kylo leaning against his car. His hands were tightly gripping onto a bouquet of roses and you swore the man looked nervous. He held the opposite arm with his free hand and quickly approached. You looked up at him in confusion and waited to see what was on his mind.

“I’m - uh - not good at apologies. I haven’t been very considerate of your feelings lately, and it was selfish of me. I’m sorry.” 

He pushed the bouquet forward, and you tentatively accepted. Sweeping his obsidian colored locks backwards, he continued, “I don’t have a lot of experience being a boyfriend. I know its a lot to ask of you, but if you could just be patient for a little bit longer, I’d love to figure this out...with you.”

Gently caressing the soft red petals, you whispered, “I’ll continue to be patient as long as you promise to keep trying.” 

Kylo’s face exploded into a huge grin, and he moved to rest his hand against your waist. He replied, “I promise. Starting with date number two. You cooked for me once, so I thought it could be my turn.”

You gave Kylo a cheeky grin and slid your fingers through his hair. “I thought you didn’t cook?” 

He laughed and leaned down to rub the tip of his nose against yours. Moving lower to plant a kiss against your supple lips, Kylo murmured, “No, I don’t. But I guess it falls in line with the whole ‘trying’ thing.” He wrapped an arm around your waist before tugging you into his car. 

It didn’t seem possible for Kylo’s brownstone to look more beautiful, but the changing leaves were definitely doing the trick. The sound of browning foliage crunching underneath your boots always filled you with childlike glee. The joy radiating from you chest didn’t go unnoticed by Kylo. He beamed at the sight of your little stomps as you marched down the street. 

Climbing up the steps, Kylo ushered you into the home and helped remove your coat. Taking your hand, he skipped the second floor and brought you straight to the bedroom. You happily accepted a baggy sweatshirt from the man, and secretly wondered if he gave you a large one on purpose. It couldn’t be an accident that his eyes kept lingering on your collarbone as the fabric slipped down your shoulder. 

Satisfied that you were comfortable, he nuzzled your neck for a moment before leading you back downstairs towards the kitchen. The space was already prepped - wine bottle chilling, ingredients placed aside, and table set. You gave Kylo a quizzical look, and he sheepishly admitted, “I may or may not have left work early to prepare.” 

Slapping his arm, you chided, “You didn’t have to do that, Kylo!” 

Leaning across the counter, Kylo held you gaze and firmly replied, “I’m your boyfriend now. I _want_ and _should_ make time for you.” He then stepped back and began to move around the kitchen. It looked as if he were preparing steaks, potatoes, and carrots. You were content to perch yourself at the edge of the island, watching in earnest as Kylo worked at dinner. 

It was adorable how the man intently studied each step of his recipes. Making sure to measure, and then re-measure again. He’d bite the side of his lip while adding each ingredient, as if he were afraid to do something wrong. You suppressed a giggle, thinking about how he never looked this focused at work. 

Plucking a carrot from a pile next to your thigh, you laughed as Kylo protested and attempted to snatch it back from your hands. “I _just_ measured those!” 

Balancing the carrot between your lips, you gave him a faux serious stare before giving the vegetable a hard chomp. Kylo groaned, and you burst out into laughter. Brushing aside his hair with one hand you giggled, “You’re cooking. It should be fun! Sometimes it doesn’t kill to be a little flexible.” 

Kylo gave a dramatic growl and chased you off the counter. Giving your bum a light slap, he grunted, “ _My_ kitchen, _my_ rules.”

* * *

“Oh my god, I’m so stuffed!” You moaned. 

Kylo’s arm twitched at the salacious sound escaping your mouth. He hungrily watched as you slowly licked your lips. “I don’t think I’ve ever been so full in my life. Your cooking is so good. It’s like you split me in half!” You continued to groan, completely unaware of how your words were affecting Kylo. 

He wanted to take things easy. To be a gentleman. You were someone worthy of being worshipped. It was taking every ounce of self-control to not catapult himself across the table and fuck you raw on the dining table. At this point, your little sinful noises were just cruel, made worse at the fact that you were completely unaware of the effect you were having on the man. 

Kylo almost whimpered as you leaned back to stretch against the chair. Your pert chest pushed outwards, and his shirt slipped further down your shoulder to reveal the divot between your breasts.

You peeked at the man, and noticed that he was drinking from an empty glass. 

“Everything okay, sweetie?” 

Kylo choked out an affirmative, and quickly swept up the dishes to disappear into the kitchen. He was aggressively scrubbing a plate underneath the faucet, while mentally reprimanding himself. He wasn’t a lanky fourteen-year-old anymore. He was a _man_ , and he ought to act like one. Kylo was determined to harden his resolve. To be responsible. To... _fuck_. 

You had materialized behind the man. Dropping off the remaining dish ware into his sink, you then took your freed hands to slowly snake them around his waist. Resting a cheek against his back, you hummed, “Thank you for dinner.” He clenched a sponge in his hand and - _goddammit, he didn’t put any dishwashing liquid on the fucking thing_. 

Giving up on the entire charade of tidying up, he threw the sponge down and turned to face you. Like ice melting underneath the desert sun, he felt himself relaxing at the sight of your lazy smile. You were now rubbing your cheek against his chest while stifling a yawn. You yelped in surprise as Kylo easily lifted you up and hiked your legs around his torso. Pulling your chest flush against his own, he rumbled, “Come on little mouse, you look tired.” 

He slowly climbed to his bedroom, relishing in the feeling of your face burrowing into the crook of his neck. Kylo deposited you onto the king sized bed, and carefully tucked the comforter around your small form. Sitting by the edge, he methodically brushed the side of your cheek with a thumb and smiled at the sight of your eyes fluttering shut. His lips pressed against your forehead and he gently murmured, “I still have a few documents to read. Don’t wait up for me little mouse.” 

The man quietly shut the door, and room was covered in blackness as you fell into slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extra innuendos, just for you SnarkyDroid ;)
> 
> Coming up: Tension finally breaks and Poe gets suspicious.


	13. Crossing The Threshold

Kylo ascended the stairs towards his bedroom feeling rather agitated. A simple call with Hux regarding numbers that weren’t adding up had resulted in a thirty minute shouting match over a contract with their metal supplier. Even clear across the city, Hux still had the ability to get underneath Kylo’s skin. 

The only saving grace was your little date, and the knowledge that just upstairs there was a woman he deeply cared for waiting in bed. The ability to go home to someone soothed the man, and with every step his foul mood slowly dissipated. Upon arriving at his bedroom, he pushed the door open an inch and peeked in. 

A perfect wedge of light was cast into the room, and illuminated a sliver of your sleeping form on his bed. Kylo could just barely make out your torso turned on its side - each notch in your spine creating a slight shadow. He slipped inside and maneuvered forward when his foot suddenly caught on something. Fabric tangled between his feet, and the giant came crashing down. 

Automatically gripping the edge of the bed, he thudded against the side while tugging on the blanket. The movement and sound caused you to frantically shoot upwards, and subsequently tumble into a heap on the ground beside Kylo. Groaning, the man reached upwards and flicked his bedside lamp on. 

The room lit up, and he was met with the sight of your tousled hair and bleary eyes. You were sitting on your knees, and Kylo sputtered when he realized that although you still had his sweatshirt on, you were distinctly without pants. At one point, you must have kicked off the uncomfortable bottoms, leading Kylo to trip on the offending article of clothing. 

Moving towards one another, the two of you blurted out apologies at the same time. A beat of silence passed, and then you both burst out into simultaneous laughter. 

Kylo carefully gathered you up alongside the comforter, and effortlessly returned you to the bed. You rolled over onto your stomach to look at the man while he remained on the floor. Placing both arms on the edge of the mattress, Kylo rested his cheek against his hand and looked up into your soft eyes. He smiled at the feeling of your fingers slowly stroking his locks. 

“It’s getting late. You should stay the night.” Kylo hesitated for a moment before cautiously finishing his statement. “I can stay in the guest room if you’d like.” 

He gave a wolfish grin in response to your lips pouting as you vigorously shook your head. Instead, you lowered your chin and gave Kylo a tentative kiss. He slowly deepened the movement, and soon the man was crawling up the bed while rolling you onto your back. The room warmed as your bodies pressed together against the sheets. Everything was heightened - the feel of his thigh between your legs, his pliant lips shifting up your neck, and his hands...

Those hands would be the death of you. 

Large enough to nearly span the entirety of your stomach, he laced one through your hair while the other gripped your waist. Kylo could feel your hardened nipples brushing against his chest, and the man thirsted for more contact. You could feel his length hardening as it rubbed against your leg, and you suddenly released an uncontrollable and wanton moan.

Kylo pushed himself off your torso and sat back on his heels. Rubbing his face, he groaned, “Shit. I don’t...”

You pushed up onto your elbows and looked up in concern. “Kylo, what’s wrong? We don’t have to do this...” 

He looked down at your gorgeous form and sighed. “No, no, no. You’re perfect. _Fucking perfect_. I just...if we keep going I don’t know if I can stop. We just got together, and I don’t want to pressure you...”

Moving to completely sit up, you silently stared at your boyfriend. Your continued silence gnawed at the man, when he suddenly exhaled a full breath of air. Inch-by-inch, you torturously pulled your top up your torso and then over your head. Already braless, your pink nipples puckered as they met cold air. Kylo felt his mouth water as you began to scoot backwards towards the headboard. 

Sitting up onto your knees, your hands danced down the flat plane of your stomach before settling by your hips. A finger teased the waistband of your lace panties before they dipped down to tug at the stretchy fabric. Lifting one leg at a time, you slipped the thin fabric off and tossed it aside. 

Kylo held a predatory gaze that you had never seen before. He was statuesque as you moved towards the man. Pulling at the hem of his shirt, you tugged the garment off his figure. His sweatpants and boxers were removed in tandem, and you were soon matching one another in nudity. 

His hand shook as he tentatively reached out to caress your naked form. Exploring your physicality, Kylo’s fingered dipped in the valley between your breasts, before testing the weighty flesh in his palm. He groaned at your perfection, his hand perfectly moulding around the supple skin. Next, he dragged his palms down your stomach, and then backwards to cup your ass. Tugging your lithe form forward, he returned to planting soft kisses all along the column of your neck before assaulting your mouth. 

Your tongues danced together as your hands continued to explore each other’s body. With each swipe of skin against skin, you felt electric. As if you were discovering a whole new terrain for the first time. Kylo pushed you flat against his bed, and you gasped at the feeling of his weight flush against your frame. 

Kylo moaned - your body was unreal. It was as if you had been created to fit perfectly against his own. He could feel the slickness between your legs as you rubbed a thigh against his hardness. The behemoth began to rut against the tight space between your legs as his cock weeped to feel the warmth of your cunt wrapped against his length. 

But no. He would do this right. You would come apart first, before he would have you. He knew that he had developed bad habits after years of being a selfish lover, and he’d probably lose all control once sheathed inside your tight hole. 

Pressing your thighs apart with his hands, Kylo maneuvered south and inhaled the heady scent of your womanhood. He wasted no time at all - his tongue painted a broad stripe along your sensitive flesh, only to stop by your clit. While circling the sensitive flesh, he pressed a finger through your folds and into your canal. 

He didn’t think it was possible to get harder; however, the combination of your lewd moans, hands in his hair, and the press of your thighs against his head was the perfect cocktail of eroticism. Working your pussy open with another finger, he felt your walls quiver just before a gush of wetness covered his hands. 

Kylo immediately pushed a tongue inside of you, and lapped at the nectar as if it would give him life. 

“Ky - Kylo. I...need...” You couldn’t speak. You couldn’t think. You weren’t sure whether or not you were forming coherent sentences or just panting at this point. He scrambled up your body and gently gripped the bottom of your chin with one hand to turn your face towards his own. 

You moaned at the sight of the man wiping away your slick with the back of his hand before licking off the excess on his fingers. He smirked at your wasted body, and teased, “What is it my little mouse? We need to work on speaking up.” 

Leaning down to press his lips against your ear, he hummed, “Use your words.” 

Shying underneath his impressive gaze, you whispered, “I want you inside of me.” 

That would do the trick. Kylo had never ripped open a foil packet and had a condom on his dick this quickly before. Still wet from his ministrations, he was able to sink into you easily. Splitting apart your pliant flesh, Kylo hissed, “Fuck. _Fuck._ So sweet. So _good_. God, this pussy is _so fucking good_ to me.” He bottomed out and moaned at the sensation of your walls squeezing him tightly. 

Bringing a palm to cup your face, he looked at your blissful features for a second before he began to pump. Your moans filled the room alongside the sound of slick skin slapping against each other. All thought disappeared in favor of his animalistic urges as Kylo fucked you into the mattress with wild abandon. This cock was everything you’d ever dreamed of as the rock hard member bruised your cervix with its width and length. 

“Kylo - _fuck_ \- I want...I’m going to...”

With a shriek, you came undone around his cock. Your eyes flew open in surprise - you had never been able to orgasm through penetration alone. The mix of your tightened walls and the _fucking sweet_ look of surprise on your face did it for Kylo. He roared with a bruising squeeze of your hips until he finished spilling into the condom. 

Sweat beaded along his forehead, and fell to mix with what had begun to pool on your chest. He laid there for a moment, relishing in the warmth of your tiny frame pressed against his larger one. You were so small. So delicate. He wanted nothing more than to capture you in his arms forever. To protect you from the ugliness that existed inside of him. 

“Uhm, Kylo?” 

He quickly rolled off when he realized his weight was suffocating on your much smaller body. You giggled and turned onto your side to face him. He had pulled off the spent condom, and tossed it into the trash after tying a knot at the top. Giving you a quick peck on the nose, the man then lifted your body off the bed, and cradled you against his chest. 

“Shower. Then we’ll sleep for real.” 

You nestled your head underneath his chin, and smiled. Kylo aimlessly ran a palm up and down your back, and closed his eyes. Feeling your breathing level out as slumber overtook your tired figure, Kylo felt a quiet voice in the back of his mind whisper a single word - _love_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ended up splitting this chapter up because it was getting a bit long. Sooooo this first part ended up just basically being smut. #sorrynotsorry
> 
> That does mean that I'll update soon with the next part! 
> 
> Thank you so much for everyone leaving comments and kudos. Sending SO MUCH LOVE. <3


	14. Eight and Three

Back flat against the living room floor, you hummed while stretching out your legs bent over the seat of the couch. Rose was sitting cross legged and twisted at the waist as she peered down at you. She smirked, “You’re doing it again.” 

“Doing what?”

“Spacing out. Thinking about good ol’ Benny?” 

You groaned and pressed a foot against your best friend’s thigh in an attempt to shove her off the seat. Rose shrieked in laughter and moved to retaliate with a few tickles. The two of you devolved into squawks of hysterics, only interrupted by a male voice calling into the room. 

“Uh, you guys okay in there or should I get Finn to bring his bat?” 

You rolled over onto your stomach and looked up at Poe crossing his arms with a smile on his face. He collapsed onto the couch next to Rose and dropped a plate of food on the table.

Everyone kept busy schedules, but once a week Rose, Poe, Finn, and yourself made an effort to get together for a weekly potluck. There was running joke that Poe was secretly a sixty-year-old man. Last week it was potato salad. The week before he had brought meatloaf, and previous to that he brought _Jello-O_. 

You stood to peek into his dish and groaned. Green bean casserole. 

Poe slapped your arm and defensively muttered, “I made the damn thing myself!” Laughing at his offense, you patted his shoulder and assured the man that it looked _delicious_.

Finn finally arrived, bringing a large pizza in tow. For every bit of “old man diet” Poe kept, Finn was still operating on “college frat boy” foods. Chicken wings, mac n’ cheese, and tacos were on steady rotation with the man. Once he actually brought _Hot Pockets_ to your potluck. 

Rose and yourself always exchanged eye rolls and joked that if it weren’t for the three of you, Finn would die of malnutrition. From the corner of your eye, you noticed the darker man eye Rose’s salad with suspicion. Poe chuckled as Rose snapped a pair of tongs at Finn, and then the room erupted into flurry of jokes, piling food on paper plates, and the snap of metal tabs as everyone cracked open a few cans of beer. 

Settling in around the couch, the conversation began with updates on your weeks and any news out on the grapevine. You groaned as Rose fished out a copy of the New York Post and threw it onto the table with a dramatic flair. The Asian woman cackled, “I know this is old news, but can we talk about this please?” 

Dameron picked up the newspaper and gave you a faux look of melancholy. Leaning over to your side he bemoaned, “To think I thought we had something special - only for you to run away into Ben’s arms.”

You punched the man in the arm and chided, “You know, that little article got me in trouble at work! Why didn’t you tell us you were a celebrity _Mr. Dameron?_ ” Poe shrugged in response and replied, “I’m not! These tabloids will write about anything. Last year there was an article about Kylo Ren’s _haircut_.”

Finn scoffed, “Yeah, the guy’s a fucking psychopath and all the Post could dredge up was that he grew his bangs out.”

“Hey! He’s still my boss, guys.” You timidly cut in. Poe gave you an inquisitive look and asked, “Why do you even care? With the hours he forces you to keep, I’m surprised that you’re not jumping at the chance to join our anti-Ren club.”

You shifted uncomfortably in your seat until Rose gently piped up. “Guys, lay off. Even if is he a total dick, he’s still her boss. It’s unfair to make her hate her job even more.” Rose gave the men a threatening stare as she soothingly drew her hand up and down your back.

Getting the message, Finn attempted to veer the conversation in another direction. “So, when are we going to meet this mysterious _Ben_ of yours?”

“You say ‘meet’, Finn. But I know you really mean ‘interrogate’.”

Poe gave the man a high-five and added on, “We just want to make sure he’s not a typical Wall Street douche!”

Disregarding the fork hanging between your lips, you replied, “I can promise you that he’s a perfect gentleman!” 

Rose giggled and piped up, “A perfectly _rich_ gentleman who spends hundreds of dollars on roses.”

Poe’s eyebrow twitched as he turned his gaze to the box of flowers displayed on the coffee table. He knew plenty of guys on Wall Street who were “rich”. But the amount of money your boyfriend was spending on you went way beyond _rich_. He was _wealthy_. Something didn’t sit right with Poe. 

Unwilling to start another argument over a hunch though, Poe tucked the information away for later and moved on. “Will this mysterious suitor be making an appearance at our annual Halloween shindig?” 

You choked on a piece of vegetable as flashback after flashback hit you. The word “shindig” was nowhere near what Poe and Finn were capable of. Halloween _catastrophe_ would’ve been a better descriptor. 

The first year you knew the boys, you blacked out at the party and somehow ended up in fucking _New Jersey_ with Rose. The year after that, Poe convinced you to sing _half an act of Les Miserables_ with Finn in the middle of Times Square. And the Halloween next? You thought you had emerged unscathed as you woke up at a decent hour in your own bed. In fact, you had even remembered to take your make up off. The kicker? Two days later, no less than _twenty_ packages arrived at your doorstep from Amazon.

You did not need Kylo to see _this_ side of you. 

“Uhm, I don’t think he’s really the partying type of guy.” 

Finn rolled his eyes and tossed a Cheeto at your face. “Come on, this is a yearly tradition! He should at least want to spend time with his girlfriend.” 

“Yeah, but he kind of doesn’t like crowds...”

Poe narrowed his eyes and slowly chewed on a piece of lettuce as he watched you nervously push casserole around your plate. Finn continued his relentless pursuit. “I don’t get it though. I mean, you can totally handle yourself...but wouldn’t he want to make sure you were safe? Or at least meet your friends?” 

Sensing your discomfort, Rose immediately smacked Finn to shut up. Always protective of you, Rose interjected, “It’s her choice who to invite to the party. Either way, they just started dating. Besides, maybe she’s not ready for him to see you two goons acting like idiots.” 

Rose stuck her tongue out at Finn, and the man retaliated by turning his Cheeto throwing attention towards the shorter woman. While the two were distracted, Poe took the opportunity to set his food down and slide closer to you. 

“It kind of seems like you’re trying to keep your boyfriend away from us.” 

“What? Of course not. Don’t be ridiculous. I just want to make sure that I’m serious about him before I introduce the man to everyone!” 

Poe smoothly replied, “His expensive gifts seem pretty _serious_ to me.”

“They’re just gifts, Poe.”

“You sure about that?” 

Your eyes turned to slits as Poe returned with a steely gaze of his own. He was the first to relent with a sigh before rubbing a hand against the back of his neck. “Look, it’s a tough city out there. I just want to make sure you’re okay. I don’t want some creep to take advantage of you by buying you all this fancy shit. You don’t owe anybody anything, got it?”

Throwing an arm around Poe, you pulled the man into a tight hug. He squeezed you back in surprise, and smiled at your response.

* * *

“Oh my God, you wear glasses?” 

Kylo’s head snapped up. You were standing by the door to his home office - silhouette backlit by a bright hallway against his darkened room. Even with an obscured form, Kylo could see that you were in nothing but one of his button ups. The more salacious side of him hoped that you weren’t wearing any underwear. 

Although you were clearly dressed down for comfort, the man was still in his suit. Work at the office was piling up, and he was forced to bring it home with him. You found some semblance of balance though. Still being mindful of maintaining a discreet relationship, Kylo would pay for you to Uber to his place first. You’d let yourself in, and have food delivered. He’d arrive later, just in time to join you at the dining table. 

Afterwards, he’d hole up in his office and attempt to sort out different parts of the deal while you lounged nearby. Sometimes you’d watch Netflix on his television, or lay in bed while talking to Rose on the phone. Always at nine o’ clock though, he’d close his laptop and spend an hour or two with you. He was exhausted, so most nights you’d just chat about this or that. Sometimes he’d put on a show, or make some cookies with you. 

His tiredness and stress made it impossible to have sex though. It was hard to be in the mood when Hux was calling him every thirty minutes to engage in a pissing match over budgets. 

Your bare feet padded across the hardwood floors and stopped at the edge of his desk. The room was the complete opposite of the modern glass fortress he spent Mondays through Fridays. His ornamental hand-carved mahogany desk was flanked by a rare working fireplace on one side, and a leather chaise lounge chair on the other. Behind him was a floor-to-ceiling built in bookshelf. The entire thing was filled to the brim with papers and books on an extensive range of subjects.

You felt your heart flutter when you saw a new edition to his collection - _Introduction To Home Cooking_.

Kylo pushed up the black frames that had begun to slip down his nose. His cheeks slightly reddened as he remembered how kids used to tease him about the large eyeglasses balanced on his larger ears and nose. The man awkwardly struggled to remove the offending eyewear when a soft hand stopped him. You had leaned over to place a hand against his own. 

“What are you working on?” 

He tried to ignore the feeling of your slight fingers caressing the temples of the metal frame. Kylo cleared his throat and replied, “Just going over some supplier contracts before bed. The logistics of coordinating all of the shipments has been a nightmare.” 

Hinging at the waist, you moved forward and murmured, “Would you like any help, _Mr. Ren?_ ”

The ballpoint pen in his hand snapped and tumbled onto the plush rug underneath. Resisting the urge to giggle, you moved around the table instead. Dragging a hand along the table top, you slinked around to Kylo’s side and then made a show of lowering yourself to the floor. Still on your knees, you gently placed the broken pen on Kylo’s desk and looked up at the mammoth man through your lashes. 

“Can I help you with anything else? _Sir?_ ”

He looked down with hooded eyes as a large palm brushed your hair back. Weaving the silken locks through his fingers, your breath hitched when his suddenly fisted your hair. Somehow, his voice became _lower_. “I believe it is the task of a personal assistant to alleviate stress.”

Your slender hands reached upwards and slowly worked Kylo’s pants down his wide thighs. Tugging the waistband of his briefs alongside his trousers, the fabric slid onto the floor. His cock was already half-hard and twitching as Kylo looked down at your angelic face beaming up towards him. A small hand gripped the base, and the man gasped as you brought his member towards your waiting mouth. 

Parting your lips, your tongue dashed out for a tentative lick - testing his skin as you savored the salty taste. Finally - _finally_ you took him into your mouth, and he hissed at the wet sensation. Warmth sizzled along his body and his legs seized as you sucked. You were so small, and he was so _large_. Positively huge between your little lips. 

The man reached backwards and gripped the edge of his desk as you slowly pumped him in and out of your mouth. Taking him deeper and deeper, you had never had someone so big in your life, but dammit you were going to do your best. Feeling a bit eager, you accidentally took too much, too fast. Choking as he hit the back of your throat, your eyes watered as a hand reached out to grab his hip. 

Kylo croaked and shut his eyes at the sight and sound of your tiny gags. This was so fucking hot, and he didn’t want to embarrass himself by cumming like fucking virginal teen. His other hand was still in your hair, and the man gave you a little assistance as he helped push and pull your head against his cock. 

“Fuck, baby. You look so good sucking your boss’s cock.” 

Did he just say that? He looked down in panic - afraid that he had insulted you. Of course you were more than that to him, but _shit_ \- if the idea wasn’t hot. Thankfully, you moaned at his words, and immediately reached down to touch yourself. 

You were so wet. Liquid pooled between your thighs, threatening to stain his white carpet. Kylo looked on as you began to finger fuck yourself, and the man groaned as you came undone at your own hand. His assumption had been correct - you were not wearing underwear. 

Kylo leaned against his desk and stuttered, “Fuck. _FUCK_ , baby. I’m going to...” He felt the telltale sensation of his balls tightening. You looked up at him with a smirk, and began to furiously pump two fingers inside of your pussy while sucking faster. 

You squealed, causing your throat to vibrate around his dick as you came around your hand, and Kylo bellowed into the room. You pushed up onto your knees, and swallowed around his cock. He jerked in your mouth and then came with a force so great his vision nearly went out. 

He looked down as you pulled your head back a little, your tongue underneath his cock catching his cum as it filled your mouth to the brim. His eyes were glassy as he took in the sight of you showing off his spend before swallowing it all down, only a dribble escaping to slide down your chin. 

But that wouldn’t go to waste either. Your fingers reached up and swiped up whatever you missed and pushed the liquid between your lips. 

“Holy shit, baby. That was...” Kylo couldn’t finish his sentence as he pulled you up onto your feet and threw his arms around your body. Pressing his lips along as much of your face as possible, he murmured words of adoration in between each kiss.

You’re perfect. 

Whatever it is you desire, I will give to you.

You are worth waiting a lifetime for. 

_I love you._

His body stiffened as the words spilled from his lips. He had never said those words to anyone. Not even to his own parents. He was simply relaying whatever was on his mind as he lost himself in a haze of post-orgasmic bliss. Although he hadn’t planned on saying those eight letters to you, deep down he knew he had meant them. In fact, he had been feeling the sentiment for a long while now. 

Would you feel the same way? You had only been dating for two months. Maybe it was too soon. Maybe he’d scare you away with his intensity. Fuck, there he went. Ruining every single fucking - 

The man’s destructive spiral ended with a touch of your hand. You pressed a palm against his cheek and gently touched your forehead against his. 

“I love you too, Kylo.”

You loved him. _Somebody loved Kylo Ren._ Knowing that his feelings were reciprocated left Kylo in a state of carefree euphoria. He immediately put away all work and dragged you to the bedroom for another round - happy to finally utter “ _I love you_ ” over and over again in your ear as you came together. 

He flopped over onto his back, and smiled as he felt you curl up next to him. Sweaty, naked, and exhausted - he felt a surge of peace wash over his chaotic mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is something about guys doing work while wearing glasses that just...ooomph.
> 
> Also, do you smell that? Smells like shenanigans coming up on Halloween! I'm trying to time the chapters so it'll fall near the holiday IRL. Fingers crossed that I can write fast enough! 
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> (Image doesn't belong to me! Just found it while Googling Adam Driver like the thirsty gal I am.)


	15. A Better Man

Kylo grinned over the top of his newspaper. He was sat across on a barstool pushed up to his kitchen island. You were on the other side balancing a bowl against your hip while lazily stirring pancake batter with a wooden spoon. Your eyes were cast downwards, scanning page thirty six of “ _Introduction to Home Cooking_ ”. An errant bang hung over your eyes, and Kylo resisted the urge to take a video as you continued to aimlessly blow at the offending piece of hair in an attempt to get it out of your face. 

“Here,” he laughed. Standing up, he leaned over the counter and tucked the stray hair behind your ear. You blushed and gave his palm a quick peck before slowly adding chocolate chips to the batter. You were scooping gooey liquid onto the griddle when your boyfriend stood to come behind you. Wrapping his arms around your waist, he leaned a chin against your head and watched as you carefully portioned out perfect sized pancakes. 

His nose nudged the side of your head while he gave sweet kisses along your temple. He gently murmured into your ear, “Have I told you that I love you?”

You paused your actions and turned your head to look at Kylo in confusion. You softly giggled, “Yes you have, Kylo.”

“Can I tell you again?” He began to nuzzle against your throat, lapping at the curve of your neck. You squealed in amusement as he made chomping noises with his teeth. “I’m waiting...” 

“Yes, Kylo! Of course!” You squeaked when he moved to nip underneath your chin. 

He pulled back, still holding you in his arms and beamed. “Good. Because I do. I really do. _I love you_.”

* * *

Forty minutes later, you were both slightly disheveled, but at least there was food on the table. Kylo was still thumbing through the newspaper when you spoke up. 

“So - uhm - my two upstairs neighbors are having a Halloween party this weekend, and I wanted to see if you’d like to come? It’s not fancy or anything. In fact, it can get kind of crazy...but I want you to meet my friends.” 

Kylo looked up and smiled. You wanted him to meet your friends! He felt a twinge of pride in his chest. The relationship was moving along splendidly, and he finally felt like he could be a normal guy with you. Just a typical New Yorker meeting his girlfriend’s best friends. Maybe you guys had potlucks or something silly like that. He never really did socialize much, so he wouldn’t know what the norm was when it came to “hanging out”.

Your voice wavered for a moment as you continued, “But - uh - you’ve seen one of the hosts before...Poe?” 

The sound of crumpling paper caused you to squeak in surprise. Kylo fisted what was once his morning newspaper and frowned. You quickly pushed away from the table, and quickly made your way towards your boyfriend. “We’re really just friends though! And I want you there with me all night!” 

You moved to crawl into Kylo’s lap, knowing that your weight and warmth often calmed him down. It seemed to work as the giant slithered a hand around your waist and tugged you tightly against his chest. He buried his nose into your hair and took long drags to fill his lungs with your scent. 

“You...live with...Poe Dameron?” 

“I mean, in the same building, yeah. But not _together_.” 

Kylo’s hand gripped onto the edge of your shirt, balling the fabric up in his fists. You shifted backwards, as something slowly dawned on you. Turning to face Kylo head-on, you asked, “Wait...do you know Poe? Like, _know_ him? Because sometimes I swear that he...knows...you...like, personally...”

You could almost hear his teeth grinding together. You could certainly see the outline of his jaw clenching. Kylo seethed, “Yeah. You could say that I know him.”

Poe Dameron was a thorn in Kylo’s side. Even if he ignored the personal pain of watching his mother dote on the man as she mentored him through his career, Poe Dameron was infuriating on a professional level as well. The man was always in Kylo’s way - courting investors and encouraging them to divert their funds from First Order and use their money for a more _positive_ purpose. He’ll talk about what great PR it would be to support a business that _saved lives_ , instead of funding a company that manufactured weapons. 

Kylo hated catching Poe’s stupidly smug face as he exited the boardroom. As if he knew he had the deal in his hands before even leaving the building. 

The most aggravating thing was that usually Poe did have the deal cinched before Kylo could even make his case. First Order should have been hemorrhaging money if it wasn’t for a key aerospace patent Kylo firmly held in his hands. Through that patented technology, Kylo was able to develop the most advanced mechanics in aviation - creating a leg up on the Resistance. Sure, they had _spirit_ , but he had the actual merchandise. 

His thoughts were interrupted by the wave of a hand in front of his face. “Kylo? Honey? How do you know Poe?” 

Kylo shook his head and began to rattle off some non-committal answer when he flinched in surprise. You lurched forward and had his face between both hands, pushing his cheeks together like they were stuck between a vice. 

“No, Kylo. If we’re going to do this - have an ‘us’ - then you need to communicate with me. You can’t just get mad and shut me out. I love you, but Poe is also one of my best friends.”

The man closed his eyes and tried to remember breathing exercises he learned in some meditation class his uncle Luke had dragged him to during childhood. Breathe in, hold the breath, and slowly exhale. Knowing not to push the man, you waited patiently perched atop his thighs. 

Kylo’s hand lazily rubbed up and down your leg before he continued, “I wasn’t ever close to my family growing up. The divide only grew after we had a disagreement regarding how I handled part of an inheritance from my grandfather.”

“What happened?” You nuzzled the side of his throat, trying to relax the man. 

“My grandfather was a gifted pilot, and had an incredible way with mechanics. He developed state of the art flight technology. One of the patents was left to me when he passed.” 

You pressed closer against Kylo and gave a tentative statement. “That sounds very kind of him.”

Kylo sighed, “It was. But at the time I was already fighting with my parents about almost everything. I had so much residual resentment from childhood. And then they wanted me to give them the patent to use at Resistance to make drones or whatever to deliver medicine to helpless communities...”

His jaw worked up and down in an attempt to release some stress. You could tell that Kylo was trying really hard not to squeeze the living hell out of your hips. He paused for a second and continued, “I blamed them for everything, so I turned and joined First Order out of spite. We used the patent to make one of the most lethal weapons in the history of warfare.” 

Kylo dropped his chin to his chest and shuddered. “Afterwards, I completely cut contact with my parents. During that time, I realized that my mother was mentoring someone to take the position that would have been mine. It was Poe. To make matters worse, my parents were so damn welcoming to the guy. So no, I wouldn’t say I’m on the best of terms with him.” 

You frowned while absentmindedly running a hand through Kylo’s hair. Planting a gentle kiss on the side of his cheek, you replied, “Thank you for being honest. I understand.”

That was it. No arguments, negotiations, or further questioning. Your unfailing support and empathy towards Kylo would never cease to take the man aback. You ran a soothing palm up and down his back while quietly whispering, “I still want to celebrate with my friends though. But I won’t force you to go to the party if it’ll make you feel uncomfortable.” 

Kylo nodded and planted a soft kiss against your cheek. “That’s fine. I don’t want to get in the way of you and your friends...”

He paused for a second before bitterly murmuring, “Even if one of them is a total douchebag.” 

You playfully slapped Kylo against the top of his head and chided, “Kylo! He’s still my friend!” The man rolled his eyes and teasingly stuck out his tongue in response. He ran both hands up and down your sides and asked, “Are you going to tell Poe we’re dating? He’s not exactly my biggest fan either. He’s always hated me for what happened between myself and my parents.”

Shaking your head, you replied, “Not yet. I think...I think I just want to enjoy what we have before involving other people. I love Poe, but...he kind of likes to meddle...”

“You don’t say.” Kylo sarcastically quipped. You gave each other a silent look and then laughed in unison. Tossing your arms around him, you squeezed Kylo’s torso for one more hug before hopping off his lap. Returning to the other side of the table, you served Kylo a helping of pancakes while the man poured your a fresh cup of coffee. 

You watched in amusement as the colossal giant worked on his fourth, fifth, and then sixth pancake. He head suddenly snapped up towards you as he caught onto your gaze. 

“What?” 

Pushing a napkin over your lips, you laughed into the soft cotton fabric. He clumsily wiped his face down, worried that there was some syrup or powdered sugar dusted along his chin. You only shook your head and gently replied, “No, you’re fine. I’m just totally amazed and jealous at how much you can eat while still looking like a freaking adonis.”

His cheeks blushed slightly, as he thought about the gangly days of his youth. As much as he wished to say that his body was crafted from dedication to his health, the truth of the matter was that it happened rather accidentally. He was simply too lazy to eat anything other than chicken, and worked out as a means to process his aggression and anger management issues. Lo and behold - the combination of a terrible personality and a lack in cooking ability had gifted him with a man’s body.

You continued to enjoy breakfast while mindlessly scrolling through social media on your phone. Kylo took in the sight before him and felt a pang of guilt. The last thing he wanted was for you to get tied up in the messy affairs of his ridiculous family life and any of the drama that came along with it. You deserved to be with a man who could perform the most basic of duties such as maintain an amiable relationship with your friends. 

Knowing himself, and knowing Poe, Kylo felt like that was an impossible feat. To extend an olive branch to the pilot would mean having to face the consequences of his mistakes and worse yet - face his mother. He didn’t think he have the courage.

Feeling Kylo’s gaze on the top of your head, you peeked up at the man and asked, “Penny for your thoughts?” 

He gave you a shaky smile and replied, “Nothing. Just...I love you.”

You grinned in unbridled joy and chirped, “Okay. Love you, too,” 

Returning to flicking through cat photos, you were completely unaware of Kylo’s internal struggle. The man watched your unadulterated happiness and decided in that moment that he would do it. He would commit to being a better man for you. 

He didn’t know how long it would take, but one day he would finally feel deserving of your love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter wasn't as "fun", but I wanted to lay out some groundwork on Kylo's past and relationship with Poe since both men are important in our reader's life. 
> 
> I know I promised shenanigans a few chapters back, and I promise they are coming, I swear! Next chapter we get ready for the Halloween Party, and Rose is feeling rather mischievous. Let's hope that it doesn't get you into any trouble ;)


	16. Trick-Or-Treat

Sometimes you wondered if having one sister to torment wasn’t enough for Rose. You should have saw the ambush coming though. You knew the signs - the way Rose would watch you with a mischievous glimmer in her eyes. Or how she’d scurry into her bedroom to hide fistfuls of shopping bags from your prying eyes. By the time Poe and Finn’s Halloween fête came around, Rose was ready to strike.

People often underestimated the fiery mechanic. Although small in stature, she was quick witted and could throw a mean punch. You had the pleasure of seeing _that_ in action during a few rowdy nights out when guys got handsy. Despite her ability to send a man to the ground in ten seconds flat, she enjoyed a quieter method of persuasion. 

Rose preferred to observe and calculate before pouncing on her unsuspecting prey. Tonight that casualty was you.

Trudging home, you threw your things by the door before hollering, “Hey, Rose! I’m home!” Kylo’s deal was still underway, which meant you were keeping the same hours as your boss. Thankfully, it was an easy Friday. Although, “easy” at the Order meant you were home at eight. 

Rose poked a head out from her bedroom. “You look like shit. Go take a shower, and I’ll heat up some dinner for you. Good thing we live in the same building as the boys!” 

Leaning your head against the wall, you groaned, “I totally forgot about the party tonight. I don’t even have a costume.” 

Your best friend’s face lit up as she casually replied, “Don’t worry! I got you covered while shopping with Paige. We’re doing a matching theme this year! I’ll leave your part in the bathroom in a second.”

While lathering up your hair with shampoo, you heard the door gently open, the sound of something being set on the counter, and then the click of the door shutting once again. Watching the suds circle the drain, you sighed and tried to imagine yourself enjoying tonight. A small voice lamely wished that Kylo could be a typical boyfriend and that you could enjoy the party together. But part of you knew that your relationship was anything but typical. Besides, you weren’t the type of person to need her boyfriend to have fun... right?

Quickly rinsing off, you stepped out in the steamy room to investigate the garments Rose left neatly folded atop the counter.

Rose flinched when you suddenly screeched, “ _WHAT THE FUCK?_ ” She scampered down the hallway so quickly she slid on her socks. Halting just before reaching the bathroom, she braced herself as the door flew open. You were holding a towel around your body with one hand while the other clutched onto two _very small_ pieces of clothing. 

“Explain yourself!” 

You were holding a yellow plaid blazer with a matching skirt. That in and of itself would have been fine, except for the fact that it was at least three inches too short _everywhere_. 

Rose hunched over with her hands on her knees while laughing at your expression. In between bouts of laughter she huffed, “It’s our costume this year. We’re going as the trio from Clueless!” Still shaking the garments in hand you yelped, “I don’t remember the skirts in the movie being _this_ short though!” 

Your black haired friend continued to guffaw, “But you have the body for it!” 

Mumbling a string of expletives, you stomped into your bedroom and ignored Rose as she pumped a triumphant fist. Forty minutes later, Paige had come over and the apartment devolved into shots of tequila, sorting through a bag of butterfly clips, and _way_ too much screaming. Rose was teasing your hair in upward strokes as you pulled on white knee socks when Paige leaned over. Whispering conspiratorially, Paige asked, “How _big_ is Big Ben?” 

Yelping in surprise, your foot totally missed the stocking and collided with Paige’s ankle. She shrieked in response, and Rose doubled over in laughter. Paige yelled in indignation, “Sheesh, you don’t have to kick me if you don’t want to answer!” 

Face blushing scarlet, you ignored Rose’s cackles as you finished pulling on your white sock. Your best friend eyed you and stage whispered, “Or maybe you’re getting shy because he’s _that_ good.” 

“Wait, I mean....you guys have done _it_ , right?” Paige added on, 

You quickly responded, “Of course we’ve done it!” Your ears burned in embarrassment as hands flew up to cover your reddening face. The two sisters gave each other impish grins before pouncing. Paige sidled up to you and threw an arm around your shoulder. Leaning into your ear she whispered, “There’s nothing to be shy about!” Rose joined in, “We just want to live vicariously though you.”

Paige sighed and clapped her hands together. “I mean, come on. Your boyfriend sends you home with the most amazing gifts. He seems super sweet and thoughtful, plus he’s some big shot on Wall Street, right?” 

“And judging by how red your face it right now, he’s apparently amazing in bed. He sounds freaking perfect.” 

Pushing the edge of a rug with the tip of your toe, you sighed, “Perfect-ish. I mean, I still wish I could still go to the party with him.” 

Paige and Rose simply assumed that “Ben” wasn’t making an appearance due to an unhealthy work load. Of course you knew the real reason why Kylo coming out tonight. As if his feud with Poe wasn’t bad enough, you were certain that the added fuel of alcohol would only make matters worse. The two sisters shared another look before Paige piped up .

“Then let’s make him jealous.” 

“What?” You looked up at the taller woman in curiosity. She pulled you up to your feet and motioned for you to slip on your black pumps before continuing, “You look freaking _good_ tonight. So, I say we snap some hot photos and send them to your boyfriend. Show him what he’s missing out on.” 

Always on the same wavelength as her sister, Rose had already begun to adjust the lighting in your room. You shuddered at the thought of the sisters using their talents for evil.

Stumbling over to your desk, you cautiously perched yourself at the edge. Maybe it was the act of your friends goading you with hoots and hollers that suddenly made your chest puff out in confidence. Or perhaps it was the bottle of tequila that the three of you managed to split. Either way, you were suddenly feeling rather bold, and even a bit irked. The girls were right, maybe Kylo did need a reminder on what he was missing tonight. 

As if your limbs were moving on their own. you slowly leaned back on the wooden surface. Arms stretched behind you, the motion pushed your chest out ever so slightly. Your knees pressed together as your legs slid along at the calves. You felt your hair drape over one shoulder while your head lolled innocent to the side. 

Rose let out a whistle as she cried, “Damn, girl. Where was this vixen hiding all this time?” 

Paige screeched in excitement as the two sisters worked out the best angle. The finally settled on the perfect shot, and even you were taken aback by the image. It was the perfect combination of innocent and sexy. The plaid skirt had risen up just high enough to be suggestive, but not enough to reveal anything. The blazer Rose had picked up pushed your chest together, and dipped just low enough to showcase the swell of your breasts. 

Meanwhile, just a borough over, Kylo choked over the rim of a glass of whiskey he had been nursing for the past hour. The man was driving himself insane. One moment he’d be confident and pleased with himself. Unlike his typically possessive nature, he was showing maturity and trust by not hounding his girlfriend as she enjoyed a night out without him.

But then a darker and more sinister side of him would creep up through jealousy and fear. Knowing that you’d be inebriated around the famously handsy Poe Dameron made him want to tie you to his bed and fuck you until he was satisfied you knew exactly who you belonged to. 

He was in the middle of chiding himself for being such a neanderthal when your message came through. A delicious photo of his girlfriend in the shortest skirt he had ever seen you sport alongside calf-high stockings and the smallest of blazers. All he could see was skin, skin, _skin_. Planes of taught muscle and supple flesh bared for the world to see. 

And then where he saw skin, he suddenly saw red. The next message flashed across his screen. 

_PA3281 | 9:43 PM | Trick-or-treat, Mr. Ren._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you so much for reading! Your generous kudos and comments seriously give me life! <3
> 
> Also, more 90's love for ya SnarkyDroid. I couldn't resist, haha. 
> 
> Next up, we head over to the Halloween party just in time for...Halloween! And we find out how Kylo reacts to the little text message.


	17. A Trick, A Treat, and Then Another Trick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween, ya'll!

It should have been a terrible omen that every Halloween, your landlords would simply throw up their hands in defeat and head Upstate for the weekend to avoid Poe and Finn’s party. It was also probably a bad sign that even before eleven o’ clock struck, Doctor Strange was holding up Cinderella’s hair as she threw up in the bushes out front. It was hard to explain, but something about Halloween seemed to change people.

Or maybe it was just the result of Finn’s very crafty and potent bartending skills. 

Speaking of the devil, the man sauntered up to you carrying two cups of a mysterious liquid. Red horns sat atop Finn’s head while he was dressed down in a red button up and black jeans. Sidling up to you, he slipped a red cup into your empty hand and coyly whispered, “Try this and let me know what you think.” 

Pointing at Rose, you playfully teased, “I think I’ve already formed my opinion.” Even completely wasted, the petite mechanic loved tinkering and building with her deft hands. Her current project? Carving a bong out of a pumpkin in the kitchen.

She didn’t even smoke.

Finn laughed as he turned to observe Rose enthusiastically explaining the mechanics of a bong to a very bored looking Tinkerbell. It warmed your heart to see how his eyes sparkled as he watched the woman somehow manage to gesture while holding a very large pumpkin in one hand. You tentatively took a sip out of the Solo cup and cursed your friend for how delicious the drink was. Finn’s talents were borderline diabolical at this point.

Noticing you affinity for his concoction, Finn gave you a crooked smile and leaned against the wall. The two of you settled into comfortable conversation just in time for Paige to appear with a squeal. The gifted woman was somehow balancing four shot glasses in her hand while shouting, “Bottoms up!” 

Laughing at the eager woman, you teased, “And who’s having the fourth shot?” 

With an evil twinkle in her eye she gave you a solid stare before replying, “You.” Refusing to take no for an answer, she pushed two glasses into your hand and cheered as you immediately downed both. 

And just like that, the edges of your vision began to slowly blur as the party _really_ began.

Time began to bleed together, but consciousness slowly returned as Finn and Poe took turns dutifully feeding you water. 

“Okay, I think I’m officially drunk,” you slurred at Finn. Eyeing your lopsided stance, the man snickered, “You said that an hour ago.” You dramatically shook your head from side to side and protested, “I said no such thing! Besides, it’s only been...twenty minutes since I got here!” 

“Dude, twenty minutes ago was when Poe left to buy you some Gatorade from the bodega. You’ve been pretty trashed for the past two hours.”

You continued to fruitlessly protest at his back as Finn turned around to find you some more water. It was a good thing that he had left for the kitchen, because you suddenly shrieked at your missed messages. Pulling up your latest conversation, you palms began to sweat as you flicked through text after text. 

It started innocently enough. 

During a stint to the bathroom, you had apparently released the top button of your blazer and sent a playful photo to Kylo. The man seemed amused enough as the texted back a winking emoji. 

Your breath stuttered at the next string of messages though. 

A photograph of Rose holding her pumpkin with a pillar of suspicious smoke rising out of it. 

Paige straddling your hips on the couch as she fed you whiskey straight from the bottle. 

You were back in the bathroom again. This time attempting to photograph your rear, but the less than sexy result was a blurry picture of the counter and a muddled beige blob in the corner. 

A hand flew to your mouth as you stifled a scream. The last picture was the whole gang in the kitchen. Finn was attempting a selfie with your phone as his face peeked out at the side. Paige was in the back sucking face with someone you didn’t recognize, while Rose stood off to the side eyeing the scene with exasperation. 

There you were. Playfully hanging onto Poe’s back like a koala bear. Your arms dangled around his neck as your legs snaked around his hips. He was looking up at you while your face was caught mid-laugh. Sure, there wasn’t anything wrong with getting a piggy back ride from your best friend. Poe had platonically carried you home during many nights out when your feet decided to quit. 

But he had never carried you home shirtless before. 

_Why was he shirtless?_

The last message was the worst though. This time it was another selfie - but of just you and Poe. Your ruddy cheeks were squished together, and it was clear that not only were his arms were tightly wound around your torso, but the man was _still_ shirtless for some reason. Underneath, you had sloppily texted:

_PA3281 | 1:23 AM | wish u were gud fnds with mee n poe._

_PA3281 | 1:24 AM | we r gud fnds._

_PA3281 | 1:25 AM | u r not gud frnd_

_PA3281 | 1:25 AM | u cant sit wit us_

You moaned as you scrolled to the bottom and realized that Kylo had already become silent after the third photo. You jerked back as a hand gently rested on your shoulder. Turning around, you were met with Rose’s brown eyes set in a concerned gaze. Even under the influence of alcohol, your best friend could tell that something was wrong. 

The only thing you could do was shove the phone in front of her face as you resisted the urge to become _that_ girl who cried at parties. Quickly skimming the messages, she gave you a sympathetic look and soothed, “I’m sure it’ll be alright. Ben will understand that you were just drunk and that Poe’s a friend...”

You whimpered in response, “Being drunk isn’t an excuse to act like a total bitch.”

Even if Kylo wasn’t your boss or a jealous lover, you were pretty sure that texting photographs of you and another man to your boyfriend was a pretty shitty thing to do. 

Especially if said man was your boyfriend’s arch nemesis. Pushing your face into your palms, you groaned. Who the hell was Kylo Ren, anyways? It was unbelievable that the grown man had an arch nemesis. It wasn’t like he was living in some sort of action movie where there were villains and...

Your thoughts were interrupted as a hulking figure suddenly eclipsed your vision. Peering up between your fingers, you gasped. Although he was lazily dressed in black jeans and a matching dark sweater, you could still feel a threatening energy roll off his plastic dollar store Batman mask. 

Although the entire thing covered half of his face and hid enough of his features to keep the man’s identity a mystery to the normal passerby, you could recognize Kylo from a mile away.

Rose shirked backwards as he lurched forward and tightly wound an arm around your waist. Even without turning around, you could feel that his hand was clenched into a tight fist behind your back. Kylo leaned forward and gingerly rested his forehead against the side of your head. For a brief moment you thought that he was about to place a chaste kiss against your ear, but then he parted his lips to hiss.

“Why don’t you introduce me to your friend, and then I can take you home and spank the shit out of your ass.” 

Liquid heat immediately shot down between your legs as you pulled back to stare into the holes where Kylo’s eyes would be. He smirked as your lips quivered, and then placed a soft kiss against your mouth. 

Still shaking, you turned and muttered, “Uhm, this is Rose. Rose, this is - uh - my boyfriend, Ben.”

Extracting himself from your arms, Kylo moved to give Rose a friendly handshake. The Asian woman looked between the two of you nervously as she handed you back your phone. 

Kylo tilted his head and then huffed in amusement, “I take it that my girlfriend has showed you her...interesting choice in selfies?” 

Rose immediately launched to your defense. “Nothing is going on between her and Poe! He’s just really friendly with everyone! And I know that work has been piling up, and she hasn’t drank in ages, and I don’t think...”

Kylo interrupted with a laugh and shook his head as he pulled you back to his side. Slotting you tightly against his hip, he quickly replied, “It’s fine. She doesn’t need my permission to cut loose.” Giving you some side eye, he continued, “Although, with how nervous you’re both acting, it seems as if you don’t have a lot of faith in me.” 

“No, no. no! I just...” Rose gave you a look and then tentatively continued, “I just know how much she loves you and I don’t want something silly like this to ruin something so good. I haven’t seen my best friend this happy in ages.” 

Your cheeks blushed as you turned to hide your face underneath Kylo’s arm. This night was just getting more and more embarrassing. You’d rather go back to the days of falling asleep underneath tables than face Kylo’s soft gaze as he took in your flustered expression.

Kylo gave the top of your head a soft peck and replied, “It would take a lot more than some drunken selfies to change my opinion of her.”

Rose immediately squeed and clapped her hands together. Next thing you knew, she was tugging you (and by extension, Kylo) to Finn and Paige. Thankfully, Finn was too drunk to recognize Kylo despite his shoddy costume, but you still didn’t want to take any chances. As soon as it became socially acceptable to ditch the party, you hurriedly bid farewell to your friends and pushed Kylo out the front door. 

Quickly skirting down the first flight of stairs towards the second floor, you were stopped at the landing just before finishing the trek to your apartment on the ground floor. Kylo had taken advantage of the empty space, and pushed you up against the wall. 

Roughly shoving a knee between your thighs, he gripped both of your wrists in one large hand and pulled your arms up above your head. The other hand tightly grasped underneath your chin as he tilted your head upwards to meet his gaze. 

“Obviously I trust that nothing uncouth would ever happen between yourself and Dameron. But that doesn’t mean I have to accept how _sloppy_ you’ve been tonight.”

Kylo leaned forward and allowed his lips to just barely hover above your own. Still holding onto your chin, the man laughed as you struggled to close the distance to meet him for a kiss. 

“You think you deserve to kiss me? To feel me? I think that my little mouse needs to be taught a lesson tonight.” 

He smirked as a low whimper spilled out of your throat. Even under the haze of the night, you voice sounded pathetic to your ears as you lamely weeped, “Please. Please...I...” Kylo dipped down and lazily brushed his pouty lips against your throat. Teasing you with each pass against your hot skin, he felt himself harden as you desperately pressed your hips against his crotch. 

Pulling back just slightly he hissed, “Tell me. Tell me how sorry you are. Do you regret taunting me with photographs of you with another man?”

“Yes. Yes! I’m so sorry, Kylo. I’ll make it up to you. I promise! I’ll show you how much I love you.” 

Kylo’s eyes narrowed as he moved forward to capture your lips in his. Just as you moaned into his mouth, he pulled back and growled, “How? How will I know that you’re sorry? That you’ll never do this again?” 

Your voice dipped into a husky timbre as you replied, “I’ll fall to my knees for you. I’ll take your cock into my mouth and let you use me how you see fit. Please, Kylo. Let me pleasure you with my body. I’ll...”

He swallowed your words with yet another punishing kiss. This time, the man released your hands and moved to press his entire weight against you. Pushed back into the wall, you moaned as he hitched your legs up around his waist and held your hips down with an iron grip. 

There would be bruises in the morning, and you knew that you’d love it.

Your tongues continued to dance as he harshly ground his clothed cock into the apex of your thighs. In between kisses he wheezed, “ _Fuck_ , baby. I’m going to fuck you into next year. I’m going to fill that pussy with my cum so I’m painted inside of you. I swear to fucking God if you ever...”

A hand snaked between your bodies to grip your breast.

“...talk about fucking...”

A sharp nip of teeth at your bottom lip.

“Poe Dameron ever again...”

The sound of plastic clattering against linoleum as Kylo’s mask fell off.

“...I’m going to tie you up...”

And then a foreign voice echoing in the hall.

“You better fucking explain yourself right now.”

Exclaiming in surprise, you quickly extracted yourself as Kylo set you down on the floor. Whipping around, you guiltily met the gaze of a very surprised - and very angry - Poe Dameron.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eek, I'm honestly blown away by the support and love for this fic. I hope it's not redundant to keep saying "thank you" for reading and leaving me your lovely thoughts and kudos.They seriously keep me going, and encourage me to write even when I'm not feeling up to it.
> 
> That being said, I need to guiltily let you guys know that updates will slow down for a little bit. I haven't pre-written any other chapters past this one, and my IRL job is the busiest at the end of the year. That doesn't mean I'm quitting the fic or anything like that though! I actually have a lot planned for my favorite couple :) Fingers crossed, I'll be able to get out at least one chapter a week - hopefully nothing later than two weeks.
> 
> As always, sending everyone so much love!


	18. A Rebirth

It happened in the blink of an eye. One minute you were lost in the heat of Kylo’s hulking form pressed against your body, and the next your boyfriend was aggressively squared right up to Poe’s face. He certainly didn’t get to where he was today by backing down from a challenge. And nothing was riling the man up more than having Poe Dameron assuming to have any claim over your life. Especially where it concerned Kylo.

Your boyfriend quietly seethed, “She doesn’t owe you an explaination.”

“She does when it concerns having a monster shove his tongue down her throat,” Poe icily shot back.

“A monster? You were always one for dramatics Dameron.” 

Poe scoffed and pushed past Kylo to stare you down. You weren’t sure whether it was from hurt or adrenaline, but the man’s voice wavered as he addressed you. “Are you fucking serious? After everything I warned you about? You could do better than this trash right here.” 

“Trash?” Kylo roared. His balled up fists began to shake, and you threw yourself between the men to cry out, “Stop! _Neither_ of you have the right to speak for me!” The two men turned to look at you in surprise as you continued, “Poe. I get that you’re coming from a place of love, but you can’t talk to me or my boyfriend like this. I...I’m sorry that I’ve kept my relationship a secret, but this is precisely why I didn’t want to tell anyone!” 

Poe reached out to grab your wrist and implored, “Anyone but him. Please. You don’t know him the way I do.” 

Kylo scoffed and turned to face the wall with his arms crossed. He agitatedly huffed, “You don’t know anything about me.” 

Dameron’s face hardened with resolve, and then he quietly whispered, “I don’t think she does either. Have you told her? About Han?” 

Kylo’s spine suddenly stiffened as his head whipped around to face Poe. His features were painted in fear. It almost looked as if the man was about to plead with his enemy. Poe’s grip on your arm tightened as he coldly stated, “Han is Kylo’s father. Why don’t you ask your boyfriend how he killed his own dad?”

A hand unconsciously flew to your mouth as you stepped back in horror. Eyes flickering back and forth, you were torn between the two. Silently meeting Kylo’s gaze, you were taken aback by his expression - defeat and sadness. The pain in Kylo’s eyes hinted that there was more to the story. During the entirety of your relationship, he had shown you nothing but warmth and love - even if he had a completely different reputation outside of your romance. You owed it to the man you loved to give him a chance. At the very least, an opportunity to explain himself.

Your compassion towards Kylo gave you a surge of courage as you flatly replied, “No, Poe. He didn’t. And if what you say is true, then something this serious was not yours to share. You had no right!” 

Tears welled up in your eyes and you met the shocked expression of your best friend. You loved Poe, but not in the unconditional way that you loved Kylo. And although you knew the ex-pilot meant well, he had no right to presume any control over your life. Not only that, but how could he just share Kylo’s secret like that? The flippant way Poe used something so painful as ammo against Kylo was deeply disturbing to you. 

Sharply tugging your hand out of Poe’s grip, you moved to stand beside Kylo. For the first time in his life, the man was speechless. Nobody ever stood up for him. People certainly never gave the toughened CEO the benefit of doubt. For so many years, both out in the world and even within his own family - he had felt like a villain. Yet, here you were. A light in his darkness and a beacon of hope. He wordlessly followed as you pulled him down the stairs and out the front door into the cold night.

Shaking from both the frigid air and the confrontation, you were soothed by the surprising heat of Kylo’s hands pulling you against his body. Wrapping his arms around your waist, he rested his chin against your shoulder. Wetness pooled at your neck, and you realized that the man was sobbing into your body. 

“Shhh. It’s alright. I love you, Kylo,” you gently cooed at the man. You knew that it took a lot for him to be vulnerable, and whatever it was that Poe had dredged up must have been incredibly dark. Carefully combing your fingers through his hair, you softly murmured sweet nothings into his ear until his breathing settled down. 

Satisfied that he was calm enough, you quietly waved a cab down and gently helped him into the car. He reached out to tug at your arm as you turned to shut the door. Dark pools of caramel looked up into your eyes as he begged, “Please. Come home with me. I need you by my side.” 

Turning to give the apartment a forlorn look, you slid into the car to sit beside Kylo. It was time to go home.

* * *

The next morning, you woke to the scent of fresh coffee brewing and the sound of Kylo shuffling around in the kitchen. Pulling on a silk robe, you made your way to the room. He was bent over the island with a piece of toast in one hand, and a butter knife in the other. You watched for a few minutes as he simply stood there staring off into the distance before you quietly whispered his name. 

He jerked upwards in surprise and dropped the knife. You had never seen him so jittery before. Carefully stepping up to his side, you delicately wrapped an arm around his waist. He sighed into the top of your head and cleared his hands before picking you up and setting you on the counter to face him. 

Stepping between your legs, he reached up to cup your cheeks into his palms. 

“Can we talk?” He tentatively asked. 

You silently nodded, and watched as the man dryly swallowed after biting his bottom lip. He gingerly moved to brush his palms against your thighs before continuing, “First and foremost, you...you don’t know how much it meant that you stood up for me last night. I’m not exaggerating when I say that nobody has ever believed in me the way you do. Not even my own parents. Even after Poe said something so terrible, you’re still here. I...I love you.”

“I love you too, Kylo.” You played with a lock of his hair as you murmured, “We’re a team, aren’t we? A duo. Whatever happened or happens, I’ll always hear you out.”

He nodded and you felt his breath stutter as his grip on your legs tightened. You gently ran a hand up and down his arm in an attempt to soothe and coax the man to continue.

“Poe...he wasn’t wrong, but he wasn’t right either. I...I didn’t directly kill my father, but I know everyone blames me for his death. Myself included. You deserve to know even the ugliest parts of me...and...I wouldn’t blame you if it was too much for you to stay.”

Your fingers continued to dance up and down his arms as you mulled over his words. “I promise to keep an open mind.” 

Kylo let out a breath of air and nodded. You could see a look of resignation on his face as he continued to share. “It happened just after I joined the Order. Things were already volatile between myself and my parents. I hadn’t spoken to either of them for months at this point, and my mother tried to extend an olive branch by inviting me over for dinner. But...my father and I...we were always somehow too similar and yet too different all at the same time. We started arguing over the patent, and he blamed me for my mother’s ailing health...” 

His fists were clenched atop your thighs as he closed his eyes. It was as if he were reliving the day all over again. 

“I got up to storm out of the house. I had exchanged some...unkind words...with my parents and resolved to never return. My mother was begging me to stay. She was always the more compassionate of the two. She said that no matter what I was still her son...even if I betrayed the family name. My father though...he was less forgiving. We were screaming, and then I allowed my anger to control me. For the darkness to consume me...” 

He stuttered for a moment but quickly finished. “I shoved my father out of the way, but I wasn’t a teenager fighting about curfew anymore. I was a man, and I ended up pushing my father too hard. He stumbled and fell through a glass table. We took him to the hospital, but he ended up having a heart attack there and passing away. The doctor said that the heart attack was unrelated to his fall, but part of me feels like it would never had happened if I hadn’t pushed him. If I hadn’t given him so much stress.” 

Kylo hiccuped into your shoulder, and you reached out to pull his torso flush against your chest. You whispered into his ear, “Kylo...I’m so sorry.” He looked up at you with wet eyes as he shakily asked, “How can you love someone as foul as myself? Maybe Poe is right. I am a monster.” You gave him a weak smile and replied, “You’re not a monster. And you’re not a murderer.”

His cheeks tinged pink as he surged forward to capture your lips in his own. Unlike the night before, he was almost timid in his affection. You felt his wide palm pull you tighter towards him by the small of your back, and you smiled into the kiss. Breaking away, you pressed your foreheads together and held each other in silence.

The air was still, but not uncomfortable as you enjoyed the sensation of just simply being together. In that moment of peace, an idea popped into your head. 

“Hey! We have the day off today. Why don’t we get some fresh air?” You threw Kylo one of your million dollar smiles and the man immediately melted into a pool at your feet. After all you’ve been through, and your continual support and tenderness - how could the man every refuse you anything? You leapt up from the counter and leaned forward on your toes to press one last kiss against his lips before nudging him towards the bedroom. 

Within thirty minutes, you were both dressed warmly for the cooling weather. Kylo was dressed down in a denim jacket over his plaid shirt and dark wash jeans. You had tugged on one of Kylo’s sweaters over leggings and threw a lightweight duster over it. The man watched you struggle with a boot, and smiled at the sight. Even something as simple as seeing you wear his clothes left the man elated. It was a tangible way of feeling like you were wholly his. 

“Wait! I picked something up for you” He called out just before you bounded out the door. Opening up his coat closet, he pulled out a beige box and sheepishly gave you the gift. Plucking at a brown ribbon, you curiously opened the gift and then looked up at your boyfriend in surprise. 

He rubbed a hand against the back of his head and explained, “I - uh - noticed that it was getting colder and the one you had didn’t seem to be doing a good job of keeping you warm.”

You pulled out a brown plaid scarf and ran a finger over the custom embroidery. The first letter of your name was followed by a seemingly random letter - “S”. Noticing your confusion, Kylo sheepishly looked away and justified, “Uh - well, I guess I might as well tell you now. My birth name is actually Benjamin Solo. I have people call me Kylo to put some distance between myself and my family, but legally I’m still a Solo. And - uhm - the woman at Burberry seemed to misunderstand my - uh - instructions and just put the last initial from my credit card. Yeah.” 

Quirking an eyebrow up, you gave him a suspicious look but decided to drop the subject. The man had bought you a five hundred dollar scarf. He could embroider it with whatever the hell he wanted and it wouldn’t have concerned you. Pressing up for a kiss you grinned. “Thank you, Kylo. I love it!” 

The man beamed and took the scarf to wrap it a few times around your neck. Fluffing up the edges he almost looked proud. Giving him another thanks, you turned to fiddle with the boot onto your foot. A few minutes later you were finally ready to brave the cold, but it seemed as if Kylo still had something on his mind. 

“We...we don’t have to go out, Kylo.” You gently spoke to the man deep in thought. He shook his head and shyly played with the bottom of your scarf. He reassured you, “No! No. I want to go out. I think it would be good for us to get out of the house. I just - uh - this is a bit embarrassing...”

“Kylo, there’s no need to be embarrassed around me. Whatever it is, you can tell me.”

“You need to understand. I’m - uh - not usually a sentimental man. And - uhm - I don’t typically enjoy engaging in activities one might describe as “cheesy”. But - uh - I decided to indulge myself, and...”

Placing both hands on your hips, you laughed. “Spit it out, Kylo!” 

The man groaned and rubbed his face in his palms before reaching back into the closet. He tugged out a scarf completely identical to your own. The only difference was that his was embroidered with the letters “B.O.S.” You squealed and snatched the scarf from his hands and helped tug it around his neck. 

Peppering kisses along his jaw you chuckled, “I love cheesy Kylo.” 

“Good. Because cheesy Kylo loves you too.” 

Giving him a good-natured laugh, you reached out to lace your fingers within his larger ones. With one final kiss, you stepped out of the apartment - together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, there! I'm quite happy that I managed to get a chapter out within the week. So far so good! We have some images this week:
> 
>  
> 
> [Kylo's Outfit @ End](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1CS51JF3RLsXuYFXny0HlhX6aGtb-opNi/view?usp=sharing)  
> [Sweater You Steal (Bonus pic of Adam, lol)](https://drive.google.com/file/d/15ZMaNnR1znTSUROOS9nG2nZ3-_T46hKN/view?usp=sharing)  
> [Burberry Scarf With Monogram](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1xim2VyNv2ADC11rVukoRWM4-oGMTgYqv/view?usp=sharing)
> 
>  
> 
> Things got heavy this chapter, but have no fear - fluff is here! Next chapter, that is ;)


	19. In Tamdem

Chelsea Market was bustling at lunchtime and the energy was infectious. The space was getting ready for the holidays, which meant that numerous twinkling lights had been strung up all along the ceiling. The sound of premature Christmas music chimed over the rumble of a healthy crowd packed within the narrow hallways. Kylo happily obliged as you dragged the man from store to store. The pair of you taste tested olive oils, admired colorful spices for sale, and lost yourself in the small bookshop. You were thumbing through some posters for sale when your stomach decided to draw attention to your hunger in a rather audible way. 

Pressing your head into Kylo’s arm, you groaned in embarrassment as the man laughed. Wrapping a thick arm around you, he chuckled, “Come on, let’s find you some food. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I allowed my girlfriend to starve?”

You walked hand in hand while taking in your options, and finally settled on a sandwich shop. Just as you wrapped up your orders, another bright idea surfaced. Leaning over, you politely asked the young man making your food, “Oh, and can we get them to-go, please?” The freckled employee nodded, and began to pack the food up in brown paper. 

Kylo gave you an inquisitive look, but you merely winked in response. Shrugging his shoulders, he grabbed the bags of food and allowed you to lead him out the double doors by the back. Long ago, he had already accepted a humble truth - despite his hardened exterior, you would always be able to crumble his resolve with a single look. You could insist on jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge, and the man would wordlessly follow you. Turning a corner, you climbed up a set of stairs, and he smiled as you stepped off onto the Highline. 

The Highline was one of your favorite places to grab some fresh air. Once a raised railway bridge, it had been converted into an outdoor park. One side featured a stunning cityscape, while the other boasted an equally beautiful view of the Hudson River. Kylo wasn’t a stranger to the park either. Not wanting to seem like a show-off though, he kept the fact that he sat on the Board of Directors to himself.

It did put on smile on his face knowing that someone he loved enjoyed one of his pet projects so thoroughly. He was literally jerked out of his thoughts as you tugged on his hand towards a small seating area. Wide steps of wood ended at a large glass pane with a view of the street below. You pulled your boyfriend downwards so you were right up to the window. 

Kylo helped you spread out your soups and sandwiches and the two of you began to tuck into lunch. This was exactly what you both needed after all the drama - some quality time without any interruptions. Out here, you could appreciate being nothing more than his girlfriend. There was neither a First Order nor Resistance causing friction. It was simply yourself and Kylo. You were like any other couple with your own inside jokes, aspirations, and memories. 

You giggled as Kylo reached over to wipe some mustard off the side of your chin with his thumb. Sucking on the digit afterwards, he smirked as your cheeks tinged with a soft pink. How did he ever get so lucky? He adored how one minute you could be a spitfire defending him against your best friend, and the next you’d be a bashful little mouse shying underneath his touch. 

Licking his lips, he leaned over and placed a soft kiss against your cheek. You beamed up at the man and returned with some affections of your own. A peal of laughter escaped your lips as Kylo suddenly tugged your waist so you slid onto his lap. Wrapping his arms around your middle, he pulled you close and pressed more kisses along your flushed cheeks. 

“God, I’m so sorry that being with me has brought so much drama into your life.”

Draping your arms around his neck you replied, “There’s no need to apologize. I’m just glad that we can work through these things...together.” 

He nuzzled the space behind your ear and grinned. “Speaking of...togetherness...I wanted to run something by you.” Kylo playfully nipped at the tip of your ear just before you shifted backwards to meet his eyes. Tilting your head to the side, you waited for him to continue. 

“A while ago, my mother called to invite me home for Thanksgiving dinner. I haven’t been back in ages...mostly out of shame and sadness. But...being with you has given me hope that I’m not completely irredeemable. If you’re willing, I liked you to be there when I see her again. I...I could use the support.” 

You gasped in happiness and squeezed him while squealing, “Yes! Of course! It would mean so much to me! Thank you for trusting me.”

Kylo gave you a goofy grin and immediately surged forward to give you a deep kiss. Through the touch of his lips, he hoped to convey the depth of his emotions. He began to tug you higher onto his lap when a dry cough interrupted your rather public display of affection. The man let out a deep bellow of a laugh as you squeaked and quickly slid off. 

Grabbing the trash with one hand and your elbow with the other, Kylo gave a half-hearted apology to the poor woman and her child sitting behind you. Arms looped together, you laughed in tandem as you scurried away together.

Despite your carefree afternoon with Kylo though, the realities of your fight with Poe couldn’t be ignored forever. As much as you’d enjoy hiding out in the West Side, Rose was worried sick and it was completely unfair to leave your best friend in the dark. After kissing Kylo goodbye and promising to call him later that night, you hopped into the cab and made the long ride home to Astoria. 

Pulling up to the apartment, you guiltily breathed a sigh of relief at the darkened windows on the third floor. The moment your front door swung open, Rose was on you like a dog with a bone. 

“Seriously? How could you just disappear like that? Finn told me that he heard shouting from the hallway, and then Poe returned to the party in the worst mood ever! Plus, you’ve been ignoring our calls and messages all day!” 

Dropping you bag by the floor you sighed, “I know, I know. I’m sorry Rose. I guess I just freaked out, okay?” 

A frown tugged by her lips, and you knew that Rose as handling her own internal struggle. Knowing the woman, she was torn between wanting to stay angry at you and being concerned at your wellbeing. Huffing with her arms crossed, she headed towards the kitchen. “Come on. I’m making some hot cocoa, and we’re going to talk this out.” 

You threw your arms around her neck from behind and squeezed tightly. “I really mean it, Rosie. I was being a totally shit friend for ignoring you. I love you, kay?” 

She laughed and replied, “I know. I love you, too. That’s why I’m making you my famous cocoa from scratch. None of that powdered shit.” Slipping out of your grip, she hooked an arm around your elbow and lead you to a vacant seat in the dining table adjacent to your open kitchen. She began to move about pulling out mugs and pots while you started in on explaining everything that happened. 

The way you ran into Poe, the confrontation, and then touching lightly on Kylo’s strained past with his family. Unwilling to breach his trust, you vaguely stated that he had a falling out with his mother that had to do with his father’s death. You also awkwardly clarified that although you boyfriend was still technically “Ben”, he was actually Kylo, your boss. 

Rose, ever the good listener, waited until you were finished before adding her comments. “I guess it makes sense that he’s been ignoring my text messages too. I tried to ask Finn, but he just said that Poe needed some space.” 

You frowned and wrapped your hands around the warm mug. “I hate fighting with Poe. He’s always been there for me. Remember when my parents disowned me, and I could barely make rent? Poe was always coming around with bags of groceries saying that he ‘bought too much’, just to make sure that I didn’t try and live off of ramen.” 

Poe was like a brother to you. He certainly treated you more like family than your own flesh and blood ever did. It was eating you up inside - the guilt and betrayal of being torn between two people you cared about. Worse yet was Finn and Rose. The two were quickly becoming collateral damage in your fight as they were left being pushed and pulled in separate directions as well. 

Rose placed a comforting palm on your arm and fiercely declared, “You know what? Fuck Poe.” 

Choking on your velvety beverage you stuttered, “What?” 

Her playful laugh filled the room, and you could feel the instant relief it provided. The reminder that you could still laugh in the current state of your life felt like a smooth balm over the pain of losing Poe. Rose sat back and harshly stated, “Look, I get that Poe has good intentions, but good intentions aren’t an excuse to act like a total butthead.” 

“Did you just call Poe a...'butthead’?”

“Yeah. And I’ll say it to his face! He doesn’t own you. You’ve been with Ben...Kylo...whatever the fuck his name is...for what? Three or four months now? And he’s been nothing but wonderful to you. Poe is hellbent on punishing your boyfriend for the sins of his past, and it’s blinded him to the possibilities of your future. If you ask me, I think he’s being selfish.” 

She huffed in agitation while aggressively scooping more mini marshmallows into her mug. Satisfied with the small hill of fluffy confections, she continued, “That being said, I’m sure that he’ll come around. He always does. The idiot is just too hot-headed for his own good.” 

Reaching over to hug your friend, you felt gratitude surge inside of your chest. Rose was a tangible reminder that family came in all sorts of forms, and you were lucky to have a sister like her who would ferociously defend you. 

Downing the last of your cocoa, you promised to make more time for your best friend. Happy with the conclusion of your chat, you loped off to your room to call Kylo. He never let the call get past the third ring, and the simple detail always left your heart fluttering. A scratchy deep baritone greeted you just as you climbed into bed. 

The sun had set by now, signaling the end of yet another day. Quietly turning off the lights, you happily filled Kylo in on your conversation with Rose. As you continued to talk, you slowly sank deeper and deeper into the sheets as sheer emotional exhaustion turned into a physical one. Just before sleep conquered, you felt a silent moment of peace and optimism.

Just as today passed, another day would follow. As long as you could continue to move forward in tandem with the love of your life, surely there would be no conflict nor pain too insurmountable to conquer together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! This chapter was especially nostalgic for me. Fun fact in case you're interested - I used to live and work in Chelsea for a period of time before moving out of Manhattan. Although a tourist destination, Chelsea Market always held a soft spot in my heart. I'd frequent the place for lunch during work breaks, and would walk the Highline with friends (and dates, lol). No, I didn't live in a brownstone like Mr. Ren, but I still loved the area :) 
> 
> Now, onto some images for this chapter: 
> 
>  
> 
> [The gorgeous lights inside Chelsea Market.](https://drive.google.com/open?id=1RaOeH3QecndVxdSxAdc0ri94w_2RULYZ)  
> [Viewing port area on Highline.](https://drive.google.com/open?id=1D-UDr35pG5H0JAajcbG2evRUAn6mmNte)
> 
>  
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! See you next week!


	20. Sometimes Stumbles Don't Lead To Falls

“Okay. Yes, I understand that you promised your friend, but you’re my girlfriend. Surely that must account for something?” Kylo was pacing his bedroom as you patiently sat atop his bed. One foot tucked underneath the opposite thigh, you chuckled as he went back and forth between crossing and uncrossing his arms. Who knew that the feared CEO of First Order Enterprises was still privy to throwing tantrums?

“Are you laughing at me? This isn’t a joke!” Kylo cried out. 

Biting the side of your cheek, you held back a giggle. “Sweetheart, are you whining?” 

His head whipped around and you flinched as his jaw set in a hard line. Stalking over to the bed, he crowded your space, aggressively moving forward until you instinctively began to lean backwards. Kylo’s voice sounded like gravel as he growled, “Do you find this funny? Do you enjoy denying me what I desire?” 

Now flat on your back, you gasped as Kylo possessively crawled up the bed so his thighs were straddling your hips. One hand reached down to grip your chin. You squeaked in response, “I didn’t know that First Order was sending you to the gallery opening! It wasn’t in your calendar. Either way, I already promised Rose that I’d be her date, and I need to spend time with my friends, too. Plus, it’s a weekend which means technically I’m off work.” 

Kylo sat back on his haunches and groaned, “I hate going to those fluffy society shindigs. I was really looking forward to enjoying a little date with you before stealing away early.” You giggled in response, “Sorry, Mr. Ren. You’ll have to wait in line. I’m already booked.” The man pounced and nipped at the soft skin underneath your chin. 

“I can think of one thing I don’t have to wait in line for.” 

He slowly loosened the black silk tie around his neck. With a snap of his wrist, the soft fabric slid out from beneath his collar. The tie was tossed aside as he slowly unbutton his collar with one hand, while the other was pressed firmly against your stomach - soft flesh making way for his fingers. 

“You spoilt little girl. I give you a few concessions and now you think you can just mouth off?” He licked a trail from clavicle to ear and grinned at the sight of goosebumps blooming where the hot heat of his mouth touched. Moving back to take your lips into his, your tongues pushed against one another as he worked the buttons of your blouse open. 

The soft chiffon fell away to reveal a nude lingerie set. A scalloped nude mesh cupped your pert breasts and left nothing to the imagination. Kylo groaned at the sight, “ _Good girl_. I love it when you wear the pretty things I buy you.” His hands slipped down to briefly squeeze your tits before sliding down to your skirt. 

He made quick work of your zipper, and hurriedly discarded the wool bottoms. It was insane how quickly Kylo could dissolve from being the stoic impression of a humorless CEO. One minute his demeanor was rigid, and the next his shirt was half off and hair mussed as he instinctively rutted against your thigh.

Kylo’s touch was assertive as he reached down to experimentally dip a finger between your folds. “Judging by the slick on my fingers, it seems as if there is yet another thing I don’t have to wait for.” 

You whimpered when his touch disappeared. “Kylo! Stop teasing me!” 

A low rumble vibrated in his throat as he threatened, “Oh, still making demands?” 

Pleading soft eyes looked up into his blown out pupils as you silently begged for some reprieve. Rubbing a thumb along your lips, he tilted his head to soak in the mouth-watering sight of you so undone beneath his formidable thighs. Pressing your legs apart, he murmured, “Maybe you could convince me though?” 

“Please, Kylo. I’ll give you all of me. Whatever you please. However you want it.” You were whining now, and Kylo felt himself stiffen further at the sweet sound. 

Pressing a finger against your tongue, he lightly pushed and reverently whispered, “You beg so prettily. Now let me hear you beg for my cock.” 

Whimpering at the intrusion, you pressed your legs further apart and cried out, “Please, please, please. Fuck me, Kylo. Fill me with your cum.” 

“That’s my girl.” With that, Kylo reached down to grab a thigh before hitching it up at his hip. Your back slid against the sheets as he sheathed himself completely. Being exclusive for so many months meant that you had now relied on the pill in lieu of condoms. 

The immediate satisfaction of slick warm heat choking his cock caused Kylo to let out a guttural moan. It had been too long since he had the pleasure of indulging in your flesh. The man couldn’t even be bothered to remove his own clothing, choosing to fuck you raw while still clad in his Armani suit. Looking down, he grunted at the sight of your wetness pooling around his slacks. A damp spot gathering by the fly of his pants. 

This would be something he’d proudly and shamelessly leave for the dry cleaners to deal with.

Fucking into you over and over again, his hands found purchase by your hips. Pulling you tightly against his hips, he dropped a head down to your neck as he repeatedly moaned your name. His angel, his light, his life. 

You returned the affections by tightly winding your small arms around his neck. Pulling the man closer so your chests were flush with one another, you sought to press yourself into him as much as possible - as if you could meld your bodies into one. Slippery sweat soaked skin rubbed against crisp starched cotton as the sound of rustling and slapping blended into a chorus of lust.

“Fuck, yes. Oh God.” Kylo moaned into your ear. Sliding his hands downwards to cup your ass, he tugged you higher to fuck you deeper. Soon, your cunt fluttered around the hardness of his dick as your orgasm hit you in waves. Wantonly moaning into Kylo’s neck, you pressed your heels against his thighs and you felt his legs stiffen. 

Soon, he was careening into the depths of pleasure as rope after rope of hot cum splashed against your walls. Pale milky liquid slowly seeped out of your womanhood as Kylo gently removed his member. Rolling onto his back, he immediately tugged you onto his chest. 

“Kylo! Your suit!” 

He turned to give you a cheeky grin. Kissing the side of your temple, he stubbornly pulled your waist so you were half splayed on his chest. “Forget the suit. I’d buy a million thousand dollar suits if I can fuck you like that every day.”

* * *

A sudden downpour dissipated just as quickly as it came, leaving the streets of New York City slick and glistening underneath a full moon. The synchronized clicks of your heels alongside Rose’s seemed to fall in time with the swish of car tires pulling water up from the wet pavement. 

Rose was an avid lover of the arts, and one of her clients had kindly gifted the woman an invitation to one of the most exclusive openings of the season. Rose joked that it was the least her clients could do. After all, she kept them alive by keeping their private jets up in the air. Her steps slowed as you came upon a sleek industrial building. Light flooded out of the windows like beacons contrasted against the grey brick. 

“Alright, girl. Final check, and then it’s time to party!” Rose squealed. She stepped back and gripped your shoulders with both hands to suss out your look. You were balanced atop sky high razor thin stilettos. Skinny cigarette trousers donned your limber legs, and the look was finished with a polished matching blazer. 

Rose smirked and bopped the tip of your nose with her finger. “I was totally right when I told you to ditch that stuffy blouse.” 

Your cheeks reddened as you silently gave a prayer of “thanks” to whoever invented fashion tape. Rose had practically ripped the blouse from your hands and insisted that you go sans shirt. The look was powerful, sleek, and very very sexy. Thankfully, she allowed you to keep your scarf on, but only because the scrap of wool was easily coat checked. 

Rose herself looked like a treat. Her trusty jumpsuit had been shed and in its place was a sequined number that perfectly emulated her personality - fun, fierce, and oh so sparkly. She reached up to fluff the ends of your hair and sighed, “I’m so happy that we can finally have some girl time.”

You returned the affection with a squeeze of her hand. “I’m happy too. I’ve missed you.”

Rose’s unwavering support during what she jokingly coined “The Great Halloween Debacle” reminded you of the importance of friends. It was easy to get lost in another world with Kylo, especially given how anti-social and private he could be. But you weren’t wired like that. So, you pushed aside any guilt for choosing Rose over a date with your boyfriend, and happily linked arms with the excited woman.

“Rose, this is so posh!” You leaned over to whisper. Was it normal for galleries to employ bouncers? You were pretty sure that was a Maserati that just pulled up to valet. Due to her job, Rose was completely unfazed by opulence and merely shrugged in response. She was a lot more interested in whether or not there would be an open bar. 

After checking in, you were both thrilled to see that there was indeed an open bar. Whiskies in hand, the two of you waltzed from painting to painting, pretending to engage in deep philosophical questions while people watching. Gazing at the woman playfully tapping a finger against her chin, you felt warmth flood your chest. You truly did miss your best friend.

Suddenly, a leggy dark-haired woman interrupted your thoughts as she rudely shoved past you. Peering over her shoulder, the lanky woman gave the pair of you a dirty look before flipping her hair and scoffing. Rose leaned over to harshly whisper, “Talk about wearing too much perfume, and not enough clothing.” While you weren’t one to judge a woman for her fashion choices, her barely there skirt made you worry that an oncoming breeze would cause the flashing of the year. 

Turning your back to view the painting again, you did your best to ignore her shrill voice as she coo’d to a stranger, “I just love papier-collé, don’t you?” Rose was now much less interested in the party, and much more invested in the rude woman behind your shoulder. 

“Oh my God, could she find a more pretentious word for ‘collage’?” Rose hissed in your ear. You rolled your eyes in response and slowly sipped on your drink. It would take a lot more than one model wannabe to ruin your night. Dammit, you were going to enjoy a pleasant girl’s night out - even if it killed you.

Rose’s eyes were trained over your shoulder as she agitatedly muttered, “If only you could see how desperate this woman is. I wonder who she’s crawling all over.” 

“Don’t be dramatic, Rose.” 

“No, seriously! She’s straight up just shoving her tits against this guy’s chest. You need to see this. I think she just palmed his ass.” 

“Can’t we go back to making fun of pretentious art collectors? I really don’t want to hear about who she’s sexually harassing.”

Rose’s eyes widened when she abruptly reached out to grab your arm. “Oh my God, this just definitely turned into your business. I...I think that’s your boyfriend.” Turning so fast that Rose flinched, you caught sight of an impassive Kylo looking down at the model as she tried to move a thigh between his legs. 

Fire burned in the pit of your stomach and threatened to crawl up your throat before spilling out of your mouth as vomit. Shakily passing your empty glass to a nearby waiter, you walked up to the man and cleared your throat. 

Kylo’s eyes widened as he awkwardly pushed away from the grabby woman. “Oh! Bazine, this is my - uh - personal assistant.” She turned to give you a lazy once over and shifted to lean against Kylo once more. Her voice was like saccharine dripping with venom as she cooed, “How _cute_ that you take your employees out on field trips.” Trailing a well manicured finger down the center of his chest she continued, “If you have time for charity, then you ought to have time for me. I’ve missed our little trysts, you wild man. Remember Mykonos? Because my cunt certainly does.” 

“Bazine.” Kylo harshly admonished, but the damage was done. 

Throwing him a bitter glare, you dryly spat, “If you’ll excuse me, _Mr. Ren_. I see that you have your hands full.” 

Turning on your heel, you just barely heard Bazine whine “how rude” before you had grabbed Rose’s hand. Your best friend’s eyes were set in a hard scowl as she shook her head at Kylo. The two of you quickly moved towards the exit. Blindly following Rose’s lead, you tumbled out into the night, completely forgoing your scarf. 

You needed to get out, even it it meant running the risk of catching a cold. After all, you could recover from illness. But the embarrassment of seeing a runway model draped over Kylo as he called you his “personal assistant”? That, you weren’t so sure could be easily overcome. 

Just as you thought the night couldn’t be more overwhelming though, you literally ran into the arms of Poe. You had almost forgotten that he was the president of Resistance Tech. Of course he’d have to make an appearance at these high profile events.

“Whoa there, tiger. Are...are you crying?”

Were you? Reaching upwards to pat underneath your eyes, you felt a trail of wetness cooling against the autumnal air. Shit, you were. 

Poe steadied your wavering frame as your vision blurred. Somewhere off to the side, you heard Finn’s familiar warm voice address Rose as he sought some explanation for your current state. She briefly explained the confrontation between yourself, Bazine, and Kylo as Poe began to slowly brush a comforting hand against the back of your head. 

Pulling you against his chest for a hug, he sighed into your hair. “Sweet pea, I can’t believe I’m saying this but...did you give Kylo a chance to explain himself?” 

Pushing against him, you pulled back just enough to catch his eyes. You sniffled, “Wh...what? I thought he was a monster to you.” Poe bit his lip and looked away in search of the right words.

“Come on, man. We’re family,” Finn pressed. 

Still holding onto you, Poe quietly whispered. “I...I’m sorry. Although I’m still not happy that you kept your relationship a secret, I understand why you did it. I also understand that...it isn’t my place to dictate who you choose to date.” 

Tossing your arms around Poe, you felt an immense weight lift off of your shoulders. It was so good to finally have you best friend back. Giggling into his neck, you teased, “How long did it take Finn to coach you through that?” 

Finn chortled, “Too long, if you ask me.” 

Separating from the embrace, Poe sheepishly ran a hand through his hair before continuing, “Look, I don’t like Kylo...personally. And I’m still going to keep an eye on him! But...he clearly makes you happy and as much as I hate to admit it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen the man so at peace nor... _domestic_.” You were pretty sure you caught Poe give just give the slightest of shivers.

Pulling your fingers into fists, you crossed your arms and huffed. “You should have seen him guys. And...he called me his personal assistant.” 

“Sweet pea...technically you are. And don’t you still work under him? Even if he’s the CEO, doesn’t your HR have restrictions against relationships with a superior? I know Resistance is super strict with that stuff.” 

Finn chimed in, “Yeah. And I know Bazine. She’s a mess all over the modeling industry. I have a few photographer friends, and apparently she’s a nasty piece of work. Super conniving and cunning.” 

Your eyes darted between the men as you let out an exasperated moan. “I thought you guys were on my side!” 

Rose laughed and draped an arm around your shoulder. “We _are_. Go find your man, and _talk_ to him.” 

Just in time, Kylo burst out of the gallery. His shaking hands were clutching onto your scarf, and you immediately felt a pang of guilt. It was clear that the man was completely torn apart in worry and fear. Not only that, but he had noticed that you had run out without your precious scarf, and had made the effort to retrieve it.

Wild eyes meeting yours, he began to sprint towards you before stumbling at he sight of Poe and Finn. Steps faltering for a moment, he nervously assessed the situation from a few feet away. 

Rolling his eyes, Poe shouted, “Oy. I thought Kylo Ren was supposed to be a fearless dick. Come get your lady!” 

Kylo frowned as you burst out into laughter. Rose smiled and gently pushed you towards the man. She quietly whispered into your ear, “Go to him. I’m going to finish my night with the boys.” Satisfied with you heading towards Kylo’s arms, she tugged both men away and towards the gallery. Finn made kissing noises, and then screeched in pain as Rose slapped him upside the head.

Shyly stepping up to the man when the trio disappeared, you lightly played with the edges of his lapel. “I’m sorry for running off like that.” Kylo fiercely shook his head as he reached behind to wrap the scarf around your neck. Even in the face of a fight, he was still putting your comfort above all else. He somberly replied, “No, I should be the one apologizing. I didn’t handle that situation well at all. Bazine...she’s nobody to me. I used to have...relations with her. But that obviously stopped when I met you and...”

You pressed a finger against his lips. “You don’t have to explain anything. I trust you. I just felt so jealous seeing someone so beautiful on your arms.” 

Kylo gave a dry laugh as he tentatively wrapped an arm around your waist. “You don’t know your own worth. She could never hold a candle to you. My gorgeous, compassionate, lovely, _perfect_ girlfriend.” 

Pressing your forehead into his chest, you smiled into the fabric of his dress shirt. Kylo now wrapped his second arm around your torso, pulling you into a crushing embrace. Running your fingers up and down his spine, you whispered, “It also hurt hearing you call me your personal assistant. I know it’s stupid, but...I just...” 

Kylo kissed the top of your head and interrupted. “You know that I only do that at work functions. If it wasn’t for our stupid HR code of conduct, I’d run around Manhattan screaming the fact that you’re mine.” 

“I know. I know. I just hate not feeling...like...you know, this is real.” 

He pulled back and gave you a stern look. Your cheeks flushed at the childishness of your statement, and Kylo reached up to grip your cheeks in his palms. 

“I don’t think that my love could be any more real. What could be more real than sharing my darkness and secrets with you? What is more real than having you by my side as I confront my fears and family for the first time in years? Every step I’ve taken has been an attempt at building a new life - with you by my side every step of the way. Is that real enough?” 

He pressed a kiss against your cheek and groaned, “Jesus, woman. You drive me insane.” 

You squealed as he began to playfully assault your neck and face with smooches. Giggling while pushing him away, he only tightened his grip as his hands dropped to your hips. 

“I fucking love you. And I’ll do everything I can to remind you of the fact every day until you never doubt me again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy almost Thanksgiving! Some photos for ya'll: 
> 
> [Lingerie Kylo bought from Agent Provocateur](https://drive.google.com/open?id=182Hl0VfqyHpapZv6LduxgchNsRagz9uQ)  
> [Your outfit at the gallery](https://drive.google.com/open?id=1nrjgOpcPgGsFuYTBVMu6ZlQhe7GZQPwl)
> 
> Next chapter we enjoy Thanksgiving with Kylo! Everything will go just peachy...right? 
> 
> Fingers crossed, if everything goes according to plan you'll be hearing from me in a few days. Wish me luck! As always, thank you so much for reading and I wish you all a fantastic holiday. If you don't celebrate, I hope your plain ol' Thursday is still just as wonderful <3


	21. I'm Sure of Us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Thanksgiving guys! <3

Metal scraped against metal as various hangers aggressively slid across a clothing rack. The entire thing was packed to the brim in luxurious dresses, yet not even the finest silk crêpe seemed good enough. As each garment passed between your fingers, you felt irritation mounting and you hated yourself for it. You weren’t the type to be flustered over picking an outfit. In fact, just a few months ago you would never have been able to tell the difference between chiffon and georgette.

“Girl, you need to relax. You’re meeting his mother. Not the queen.” Paige lightly teased as she dragged in a second rack. “I might as well be meeting the queen!” You cried to the back of her head as an over-the-top Derek Lam dress was unceremoniously shoved to the side. You were back in the private suite, but this time the atmosphere was a lot less jovial. Frantically combing through racks upon racks of dresses, it seemed as if finding the perfect Thanksgiving day outfit would be an impossible feat. A soft hand interrupted your flurry when Paige pushed you into a velvet chaise lounge. “Sweetie, this isn’t just about the clothes, is it?” 

“No,” you sighed in embarrassment. “I just worry that I won’t be good enough. Ignoring the fact that Kylo was born a freaking _heir_ , he’s still a hotshot CEO. Sometimes...I feel like I’m just playing dress up, you know? I don’t have anything to offer him...” 

“You stop that right now. First of all, I think that Kylo would be incredibly hurt if you thought all he cared about was money or prestige. The man is obviously head over heels. How could you talk about yourself like that?” Paige scolded. 

Pressing the heel of your palms into your eyes, you let out a groan of exasperation. “I know I’m being ridiculous. Can we just blame love, and ignore my shitty attitude?” 

Paige wrapped you up into a tight hug and soothed, “You’re just stressed. Why don’t you relax for a little bit, and I’ll get you a coffee? Peppermint mocha from downstairs?” 

You gave her a meek nod, and Paige responded with a gentle squeeze before getting up. The door closed with a soft click, and you were left burying your head between sweaty palms. This was more than just dinner. Kylo needed a buffer between himself and his family, and you worried that you weren’t up for the task. You didn’t know the first thing about world Kylo came from. 

A quiet knock sounded at the door, and you peered up from between spread fingers just in time to see Kylo slip into the room. Steam rose from a porcelain mug cradled in his hand as he made his way across the room to sit by your side. A gentle hand rested at your thigh as he murmured, “Hey, sweetheart.” 

“Kylo! What are you doing here?” 

He cupped a hand behind your head and pulled you in for a sweet kiss against the forehead. “Paige called and said that there was something on your mind?” He teasingly nudged your shoulder and placed the warm cup into your hands. “Kylo, you didn’t have to come down here. It’s your day off.” 

Leaning back a bit, he spread out his long legs and pulled you closer so you were flush against his side. “I was already planning on stopping by to pick you up for dinner. Come on, little mouse. What’s going on?” 

“I think it’s just nerves. I’m being stupid.” 

“You’re the furthest thing from stupid. Look, I know that Thanksgiving with my family isn’t going to be easy, but we’ll be there _together_ , yeah? Just think of it as plain ol’ dinner.” 

Twirling the ends of your hair you muttered, “I’m sorry, but have you met your family before? Read anything on the news lately?” 

Kylo let out a bark of laughter. “Just pretend you’re meeting my overbearing mother, crazy uncle, and whoever else they’ve hoodwinked into coming over. Honestly, I’m trying to time our arrival so we’ll just be on the cusp of Luke being too shit-faced to be a nuisance.”

You giggled at the thought of one of the co-founders of Resistance Tech being “shit-faced”. Nuzzling against the side of your throat, Kylo grinned into the soft flesh. “There we go. That’s my girl. Let me see that smile.” 

Squealing as he began to assault your ribs with fluttering fingers, you tried to hide your face in Kylo’s shirt. His laughter bubbled up from deep within his chest as he watched you writhe from side-to-side. The attack was finished with one final kiss on the cheek before you were brought to your feet.

“Come. Let’s find you a pretty dress. Preferably one that’s easy to take off.” 

You slapped his arm in jest and watched from behind as Kylo carefully dug through the garments. You needed to be confident and strong for the man. It was hard for him to return to his family, and it wasn’t fair to make this all about you. You could do this. 

“Here, how about this one? The color is gorgeous.” 

Kylo held up a stunning powder blue wool dress. A sloped v-neck would show off just enough skin while still maintaining modesty. Quarter sleeves and a below-knee skirt gave off an elegant fifties feeling, while a thin belt accentuated the waist. Although the piece was perfect for meeting the family, Kylo still found a way to show off your figure. It was just like him, the scoundrel.

* * *

Thanksgiving day came and you slid into Kylo’s BMW, careful of the long hem on your two thousand dollar dress. Somehow, the city seemed quieter as skyscrapers and pedestrians whizzed by in a blur. With each passing avenue, the reality of dinner slowly set in. Even putting aside the Skywalker/Solo/Organa family drama, you would be meeting Kylo’s _mother_ for the first time. The woman who birthed the man you now shared a life with. Despite the numerous conflicts plaguing the family, Kylo still spoke of his mother with softened eyes and a cracked voice. You knew that even if he refused to admit it - the woman was important to him. 

Placing a comforting hand on your knee, Kylo smiled at your profile. “I still can’t believe that you baked biscuits by scratch. You didn’t have to go through the trouble.” 

You looked down at the plate of maple bacon biscuits balanced atop your thighs. It was the least you could do, really. Besides, the real trouble was Kylo sneaking into the kitchen to pilfer bacon every time you left to go check on something or use the restroom. Eventually you had to threaten the man with aggressive jabs of the spatula, and he reluctantly slinked away to wait alone in the living room. 

The car pulled up to a quiet street on the Upper East Side, and Kylo came around to help you out of the car. Grabbing the plate of baked goods, he nervously chuckled, “Uh, welcome to my childhood home.” A doorman gave Kylo a friendly greeting, and soon you were on an elevator zipping up to the penthouse. You were still looking around in awe as Kylo fished around his pants for a key. Next thing you knew, he was swinging open a great front door and the sounds of laughter and sizzling spilled out into the hallway. 

“Kylo? Kylo, is that you?” A warm and familiar voice called out. Leia emerged from around the corner and halted as soon as she caught sight of Kylo. His grip on your hand tightened at the sight of his mother with dewy eyes. She clutched onto a whisk so tightly her knuckles turned white, and her eyes darted between yourself and her son.

“I...I didn’t think that you’d actually come,” she whispered in awe. 

You gave the man a gentle nudge forward, and he took the cue to approach his mother. His frame almost dwarfed hers, but somehow he looked like a small child next to Leia. 

“Hey, mom.” 

She burst into tears and immediately threw her arms around the man. Tugging him down to meet her height, Leia crushed Kylo in a heart-warming embrace. “I’m so glad you’re home. Don’t wait so long to come back again, alright?” 

“Sure, ma.” 

She stepped back and wiped at her cheeks, and rushed forward to grab your hands. Kylo stiffly cleared his throat and introduced you. “This is my girlfriend.” 

Leia grinned. “See, I knew that I’d like you the moment we met! Welcome to our family! Come, come. Everyone is in the kitchen!” She turned on her heel and excitedly exited the room. Kylo lifted a brow in interest, and you simply shook your head before slipping a hand into his large, somewhat moist, palm. “A story for another day,” you whispered while Kylo led you to the kitchen. 

The room was bright and bustling with energy. It seemed as if most of the cooking was done, as Leia was only making a few last checks on some sauces. The counter was cluttered with assorted pots and pans wafting scents of cranberry, meat, and breading towards your nose. Your attention was then drawn to an older man you recognized as Luke Skywalker. He was leaning against the counter bickering to seemingly nobody.

“Look, it’s not about the taste, okay? It’s the principle of the matter. Marshmallows are a dessert food and have no business in savory dishes,” Luke seethed.

A strong voice boomed up, and you realized that Luke was arguing with an incredibly small woman hidden by his torso. He twisted away just enough for you to notice her pushing a pair of thick glasses up the bridge of her nose as she shot back, “You are too invested in technicalities! If you focus solely on principles, you’ll miss out on opportunities born from flexibility and experimentation.” 

Her attention was suddenly drawn to your corner of the room. Voice rising above the typical clatter of Thanksgiving day cooking, her words were clear as day as she shouted, “BENJAMIN SOLO!” Kylo shirked backwards as the tiny woman leapt off her seat and bounded towards him. Her gaze was steady as she looked Kylo up and down in silence. Finally, she gave him a hard slap across the arm and muttered, “Stupid boy. Always so stubborn and dense.” Turning to you, her eyes became gentle as she pulled you down for a hug. “And this must the woman to bring our prodigal son home.” 

Rubbing his arm in irritation, Kylo huffed, “Seriously, Maz?” 

The woman shook a threatening finger at Kylo and warned, “I could do a lot worse. Just ask your uncle Chewie.” Ignoring Kylo muttering expletives underneath his breath, she turned her attention to you. “Come here, girl.” 

You bent slightly at the knees to meet the woman while she surveyed your features in silence. Nodding to herself, she turned to Kylo and warned, “She’s a good one. Don’t muck it up.” Her weathered hands gave you a gentle brush against the cheek before she returned to her stool. Kylo rubbed a hand against the back of his neck and gave you a sheepish grin. “Don’t say that I didn’t warn you.” 

Oh, he had certainly tried. 

The first warning came as he worked at stir-frying some vegetables for dinner. “Don’t ask Luke for his opinion on _anything_. He’ll just go off on a rant, and thirty tangents later you’ll regret ever asking him if he wanted milk with his coffee.”

During a particularly slow day at work, Kylo had pulled you into his office. “Uncle Chewie isn’t from around here. I think he’s German, or maybe Dutch. We never really figured it out - his accent is too strong. But just nod along and smile when he talks to you, and that’ll usually keep the man happy.” 

Kylo was vacuuming the living room floor when the next nugget arrived. You were appreciating the man’s brick house torso as he shuffled in nothing but boxers and a muscle tank. “Maz is a total hippie, but super nice. She can smell inauthenticity from a mile away though, so your best bet is to be honest with her. Even if you think you’ll be insulting.”

While you were cuddling on the couch rewatching Gilmore Girls, he had turned to you and whispered. “My mother. We...we’ve just recently started talking on the phone again. She’ll probably try and interrogate you regarding children or marriage. Don’t let her intimidate you, okay?”

That last conversation did actually get you thinking though. You certainly loved Kylo, that much was for sure. But you hadn’t really considered your future with the man. It wasn’t like you were even sure of your own personal prospects. After all, “personal assistant” didn’t exactly make for the most lucrative nor fulfilling of occupations. 

And while Kylo had remained doting and faithful, the man had never broached the topic of family or his expectations regarding the trajectory of your relationship. He seemed content to live in the moment.

Absentmindedly rubbing a hand along your stomach, you wondered if you could dare to even imagine something more with the raven haired man. 

“Hungry already?” Said man’s voice rumbled in your ear, completely misunderstanding the gesture. You pushed the intrusive thoughts away and looked up while throwing on a wide grin. “Yup! Let’s see how we can help in the kitchen!” 

Despite a brief and tense moment where Kylo had tersely greeted his uncle, the rest of the evening went by relatively well. It was clear that everyone was somewhat walking on eggshells, but after a few tumblers of whiskey, it seemed as if the mood had significantly relaxed. 

Leia was politely folding her napkin when she addressed you. “So, Kylo mentioned to me that you enjoy photography?” 

“Yes! I haven’t had much time to practice lately, but I did go to school for it.” 

“Well, I think it’s lovely that you enjoy the arts. Plus, if you were to pursue it full-time you could still have a rather flexible schedule.” 

“I...I guess so?”

Kylo’s fists clenched underneath the table as he interjected, “Mother.” Despite the flat tone, there seemed to be a thinly veiled warning within the word. Leia simply lifted her hands up and shrugged. She nonchalantly continued, “Wouldn’t it be lovely? To pursue a career you’re truly passionate about? And one that would allow you the freedom to start a family?” 

Oh. 

“ _Mother_. This isn’t the time nor place to discuss my girlfriend’s reproductive plans.” 

Luke reached over the table to grab another biscuit. Mouth half-full with cooked dough, he weighed in, “You’re not getting younger, kid. The First Order is running you to the ground. You know, if you joined the Resistance like we had asked, you’d have the flexibility. We’d support you. You’d have to time to have a life.” 

“Luke. I’m not joining the goddamn Resistance. I...I have too much at stake.” 

Leia pushed some peas around on her plate and lackadaisically retorted, “After Snoke passed, you became the majority shareholder, right? That gives you the power to choose your future, doesn’t it? Your father’s will. He named you...” 

“Mom. I’m not having this conversation right now!” 

You nervously reached under the table to grab Kylo’s hand as his voice increasingly raised in volume. He looked like a teenager being cornered by his mother and uncle about to lash out. In an attempt to divert Leia’s attention, you quickly piped up, “Uhm, I wouldn’t be averse to having kids. If the time was right.” 

Leia immediately beamed in your direction as thoughts of pale green onesies and designer strollers danced in her mind. “Perfect! You know, I have a few friends over at Condé Nast. I’m sure that I could...”

Kylo groaned, “Mom. She said she _would_. Not that she _was_.” 

You immediately looked down at your lap in embarrassment. Kylo caught your pained expression and swiftly snaked an arm behind your back to pull you towards his shoulder. He continued, “We haven’t really talked about it.” 

Luke was now pouring a generous serving of pumpkin spice creamer into an empty mug. You almost choked - it didn’t look like there was any coffee in his cup. He piped up, “Well, you’re talking about it now, aren’t you?” 

Kylo’s jaw clenched. It was just like his uncle to goad him. Always poking and prodding to elicit a reaction. You meekly whispered to Kylo, “It’s okay. I didn’t mean to pressure you or anything. I’m not upset that you haven’t thought of us...that far yet...like that...” 

His brown eyes narrowed in offense. He stuttered, “What? You couldn’t possibly think...I just...” 

“Full sentences, boy. She’s not a mind reader,” Luke lazily piped up while pouring gravy on some turkey. How was the man still eating after polishing off two slices of apple pie and what looked like half a quart of creamer. 

Kylo’s grip on your waist tightened and he took in a deep breath. “You just...you’re so _young_. I didn’t want to force you into settling down just because of our age difference. I wanted you to be sure of us. Of me.” 

You gave him a pleasant grin and quietly replied, “If there’s anything I’m sure of Kylo, it’s us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Powder Blue Ralph Lauren Dress](https://drive.google.com/open?id=13SYoinnWE4h0y1pGwYDqKXQBXriNnxRr)
> 
> I'm so excited to start exploring the next chapter of their relationship! I have a vague idea of how I want things to play out. I just hope I can execute well. Thanks for coming along on this journey, and as always, thank you for reading <3


	22. Spoilt Rotton

Thankfully, the discussion regarding Kylo’s tenure at First Order and the potential of rearing offspring together was the last of stressful conversation topics had at the dinner table. After finishing up the meal, you helped Chewie with clearing the table - making sure to generously nod and smile like Kylo had instructed. The tactic seemed to have worked. The bearded man flashed you great big smiles and laughed so hard it almost sounded like thunder. 

At one point Kylo had disappeared with his mother, but you thought nothing of it. After all, it had been years since they had spent any quality time together face-to-face. You rather liked chatting it up with his other family members anyways. Luke was a lot more mischievous than you had gathered from his typically stoic magazine interviews. 

Everyone finally settled in the living room to watch some football. You wondered why they bothered with the act though. It was pretty clear that nobody in the room enjoyed the sport, as they sat around the coffee table chatting over the television (Luke somehow _still_ eating, this time digging into a bowl of just stuffing). Despite not having loved ones of your own to share the holidays with, the warmth of Kylo’s family sated your aching heart, and soon you were lulled into a peaceful slumber. 

Time must have passed, because you were roused when your body shifted against its will. Your face pressed against a warm chest, and Leia’s soft voice floated nearby. “Poor thing. Holidays with the Organa-Solo household would tire anybody out. Get her home, and promise you’ll stop by again soon? She’s lovely, Ben.” 

You felt Kylo nod against your head as he pulled you closer to his body, carrying you like a bride. Feeling warm and sleepy, you quietly succumbed to inky unconsciousness.

* * *

“Ugh, I hate him. I hate him, I hate him, _I hate him_!” Paige cried out. You watched the spirited woman in amusement and awe - she had a talent for guzzling margaritas while simultaneously shouting. Meanwhile, Rose continued to snack on tortilla chips as if her sister wasn’t making a scene during lunch. Completely accustomed to Paige’s bi-weekly rants, you were also working on polishing off a taco in silence. 

“Hello? Can I get some attention here, please?” Paige huffed.

Rose shot you a look, and the two of your let out a peal of laughter. She launched a chip across the table, and smirked as it bounced off the side of her sister’s head. “Alright, Paige. What’s going on this week?” 

“You know, I wouldn’t have so much to complain about if my roommate wasn’t...my roommate.” 

Reaching over for your own colorful margarita, you mumbled over the straw, “I don’t even know why you live with Snap.” 

“Because it was cheap, and I didn’t realize how _loud_ he would be with his girlfriend. You know, she should ought to pay rent at this point. The woman practically lives with us!”

Rose tugged a bowl of guacamole towards her and laughed. “We offered you space in the apartment. You’re the one with a vendetta against Queens.” 

“I don’t have a vendetta against Queens. I just hate having to change trains at Union Station to get up there.” 

“More than you hate living with Snap?” 

Paige moaned into her cup and finished her drink with a flourish. Half-drunk, she began to wave the empty glass around in the air in search of a waiter. Rose’s eyes widened in embarrassment as she lurched across the table to grab her sister’s hand. “Holy shit, girl. Sit down. _Sit down_. I’ll get you a refill!” Rose hissed. 

You held back laughter as your best friend quickly scrambled away, throwing you a silent plead to please _control her sister_. Paige folded her arms along the table and rested a heavy head on her forearm. She looked up at you with heavy eyes and sighed, “Enough about me. I still can’t believe that your ‘Ben’ was actually Kylo Ren! Ugh, he’s so sweet on you.” 

“Well, that’s good. Because I’m pretty sweet on him, too.” 

Paige rolled her head so the opposite cheek was now resting on her arm. “No, you don’t get it. He’s like _really_ smitten.” She suddenly sat up and reached over to grab your hand. Lowering her voice conspiratorially she continued, “Don’t tell him I told you this but...every time he comes in to pick up a suit or whatever from me...he always stops by the bridal section. I swear to God he looks at the dresses with such a wistful expression you’d think that he was buying one for himself.”

“Oh! Well, I didn’t know...”

“Like...even before the Halloween party.”

“R...really now...”

Paige’s speech was really starting to slur as she continued, “Heads up...your man likes flouncy princess shit...”

A loud thump interrupted your focus as Rose returned with three large margaritas in tow. She took one look at Paige and rolled her eyes before sliding two of the glasses towards your side of the table. Jerking her head towards a now snoozing Paige, Rose sighed, “Help a girl out and drink these two margaritas so I don’t have to drag Paige by her feet all the way to Brooklyn?”

An hour and thirty minutes later, you were stumbling up the steps to Kylo’s brownstone. At one point, you had half-lucidly garbled something about “taking one for the team” while Rose hastily called Kylo to send a car for you. The smaller woman somehow managed to wrangle your body into the black sedan before you were unceremoniously deposited in front of your boyfriend’s house. 

You were greeted by a very amused Kylo standing at his front door. Arms crossed, he lazily leaned against the frame as he watched you sway back and forth. Giggling at nothing in particular, you began to casually slink down towards the floor for a little sit down. 

“Nope, nope, nope. Stay with me, love!” Kylo rushed to sweep you up in his arms before you hit the floor. He huffed in entertainment as you fisted his soft cotton shirt. “Mmmm...Kylo...is it bedtime already?” The man laughed as your head rolled from side-to-side. 

“I know it’s Saturday, but it’s only three in the afternoon. I swear to God, I leave you alone with the Ticos for one day, and this happens.” 

Lazily tilting your head backwards, you looked up at Kylo with hooded eyes, and began to make a half-hearted kissy faces at the man. The high pitched whine of air being sucked through pursed lips escaped from your pink mouth.

Fuck, you were cute.

Kylo took his time lumbering up the stairs to deposit you onto his bed. Watching your small form curled up in peace amongst his sheets filled his chest to the brim with exhilaration. Kylo’s possessive edge felt smug knowing that your scent was co-mingling with his own, and that even once you’ve woken up from your nap and left his home - your presence would continue to linger in the space. 

Slowly sinking onto the floor so he could watch you at eye level, he folded his legs up underneath as he got comfortable. Something just felt so _right_ about you there. He imagined a possible future - one where you were there every night and every day. 

Looking at the end table (on _your_ side of the bed, his mind supplied), he grinned at the very simple, yet profound, artifacts scattered about. 

The novel you were halfway through, dog eared where you had left off. 

A travel sized bottle of hand lotion you religiously applied before bed. 

Small bobby-pins and hair bands gathered into a small heap. 

Little by little, your presence had slowly encroached upon his dwelling. It started small enough, but each addition tilted the balance so that his _house_ soon became a _home_. Even during nights he spent alone, the mere presence of your things soothed his soul. It was as if your personal belongings created cracks in the dark façade of his life. Despite the dichotomy in your personalities, it was those differences that seemed to create balance. 

Your unicorn mug sitting neatly next to his clear Bodum glassware, like a breath of fresh air. 

A small rack of colorful and airy blouses squared away next to his dark suiting, like a brilliant ray of light. 

Colorful highlighters gathered next to his collection of Mont Blanc pens, like sweet cream poured into coffee. 

Sure, Kylo Ren liked his place. But the entire space was becoming too masculine and dry for his changing tastes. He wanted to feel the warmth of home when he returned from the office. To be able to return to a lived in space, filled to the brim with mementos and touches of another person was something he had never thought to desire. That was probably due to the fact that he had never had anyone to share that sentiment with. 

Slowly running the tip of his fingers up and down your arms, he smiled at your resting face. Maybe he could bring you to a furniture showroom downtown just to take a look. See what your taste in decor was. Maybe he’d just say to hell with it all, and buy a new place as a fresh start. Perhaps on the Upper East Side, finally. After all, if he were close to his mother, she could watch the kids from time to time when...

“Kylo?” 

Your head was still resting on one ear while your eyes fluttered open to gaze at your boyfriend. The mattress dipped as he climbed up to sit by your side, hands now running through your hair. 

“Did I wake you, sweetheart?” 

“Nope. I have a hard time napping for too long.” 

That’s right. It was still the afternoon. Although, judging by the darkness in the room it was getting close to dinnertime. Kylo shifted to swing his legs up into the bed. Pulling you flush against his side, he tucked your head underneath his chin. 

“Hungry yet? I can order in. Or I can heat up some leftovers from last night?”

Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you gave Kylo a lazy smile. Tucking the sheets in around your thighs for extra warmth you shyly ventured, “Sushi?” Kylo grinned and softly rubbed his hand along the back of your head. Resting by your neck, he pulled you in for a quick kiss. 

“Of course. Anything for you.” 

A few taps on his phone later, you were firmly tying a knot on Kylo’s sweatpants slung around your hips while he tipped a delivery guy. You met Kylo in the dining room as he neatly spread out some platters of sashimi, miso soup, and something fried you couldn’t put your finger on.

“Really, Kylo? I didn’t even know that Nobu delivered...”

“They don’t.” 

Kylo staunchly avoided eye contact as he plated some wasabi into tiny dishes. The man knew that you were still uncomfortable with ostentatious displays of his wealth. It was already hard enough for him to get you to accept gifts. It was almost comical, really. He’d come home from Barneys and guiltily hide the shopping bags anywhere he could. 

They were always filled to the brim with lovely things. Except, they weren’t for himself. Bags upon bags of Chanel, Dior, Saint Laurent, and whatever else he fancied were hidden in his office. The back of the laundry room. Underneath his bed. Anywhere really. 

And every so often, he’d sneakily place a new item into your side of the closet. They’d be strategically inserted between things you already owned. Even then, you’d still raise an eyebrow while getting dressed in the morning - holding up a new Alexander Wang shift dress while Kylo pretended to suddenly find his cufflinks very, very, _very_ interesting.

“Kylo! When I said ‘sushi’, I didn’t mean something so fancy!” 

“I was craving their salmon tataki!”

Feeling like his argument wasn’t going to work, Kylo reached into his back pocket for his trump card. Neatly folding the paper bag in his hands, he gave a soft sigh. As soon as he felt your eyes upon his face, the man looked up and blasted you with the biggest, warmest, most sincere pair of puppy dog eyes he could muster. 

“ _No_. Kylo, don’t! You know I...” 

He knew it was overkill, but the man jutted out his pouty bottom lip by just a bit. You groaned and reluctantly slid to his side. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you planted a kiss just underneath his chin.

“Thank you, Kylo.” 

Secretly grinning over the top of your head, he wrapped a large hand around your hip. The man didn’t sign multi-million dollar deals without being _somewhat_ persuasive, after all. 

Settling down for dinner, Kylo casually asked if you had any Christmas plans. He’d never been one to look forward to the holidays. The company culture at First Order definitely didn’t encourage revelry of any sort. In fact, they even forewent holidays parties. Instead, everyone was sent home with matching gift bags and an Amazon gift card, and that was that. 

But now that he had someone to share the holidays with, the season felt different. If Thanksgiving was a peek into what could be, he wanted more. 

You swallowed your shrimp tempura down with a swig of sake and smiled. “Yes! I love Christmas. The gang always does Secret Santa, and this year I got Finn. He’s kind of hard to shop for, but I’ll figure something out. Poe invited us all to his company party, too. Since - uh - the Order doesn’t do parties, I thought it could be fun to check out. Uhm, if thats okay though. I know how you feel about...” 

Kylo reached over to lightly grab your hand. “It’s fine. They’re your friends, and I get it now. I know I was a bit..touchy about the subject before. Besides, now that I’m on speaking terms with my mom again, who knows. Maybe I can be your plus-one.” 

He shot you a playful wink, and you smiled in return. 

“What about you? Will you be doing anything with Leia or Luke?” 

Kylo gently set his chopsticks down on the table and breathed deeply. “Well, Luke usually goes to his cabin up north for the holidays. Something about meditation and bringing in the new year with a clear mind. Leia had already made plans to meet up with some old friends for a girl’s retreat in Bali, and uh, I think Maz and Chewie are visiting his family in Europe.” 

Trying to find something nice to say, you tentatively replied, “Oh. Well, then at least your Christmas will be peaceful?” 

“Well, I was kind of hoping it wouldn’t be.” 

You tilted your head in interest as you set down your own utensils. “What do you mean?” 

“I know that you’re not close to your family, so I was kind of hoping that you’d spend Christmas with me...” 

Squealing in joy, you leapt up to settle into Kylo’s lap. His arms instinctively corded around your hips and he huffed in amusement while your legs wrapped around his waist. You smooched him in glee a you cried out “yes” in between each press of your lips against his own. 

Finally exhausting all of your kisses on the man’s face, you leaned back and gave him a faux serious look. “I’ll only do Christmas here under one condition though.” 

“What’s that?” 

You gestured a hand at the vast space and gave him a smirk. Kylo laughed, “Don’t worry, we can decorate as much or as little as you want. Just let me call my decorator tomorrow.” 

Crossing your arms, you pouted, “A _decorator_? That’s hardly jolly.”

“Darling, my entire brownstone is almost five thousand square feet, and that’s not including the rooftop area. I hardly think you’ll be jolly if I tasked you with decorating the whole place.” 

Kylo tried to kiss away the pout in your lips before sighing, “How about a compromise? We’ll do the tree and living room together?” 

You nodded in earnest and whispered, “A...real tree?”

“You’re just spoilt rotten, aren’t you?” Kylo chuckled as you batted your long lashes up at the man.

You buried your head into the crook of his neck and giggled. You kind of were, but Kylo had no complaints there. He’d offer up his life to you on a silver platter if that meant he could keep you smiling right here safely in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At the risk of sounding like a broken record, thank you so much for your lovely comments and kudos. They truly warm my heart, and it's so fun hearing feedback and keeping in touch with readers. Writing this fic and getting to know new people has really been soothing my soul <3 
> 
> Coming up - we go Christmas tree shopping with Kylo, catch up with friends, and other holiday revelry!


	23. Bitchzine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took forever to update. It took me some time to figure out where I wanted to take the story, and how I wanted to wrap everything up. Thank you so much for your patience! <3

Hallmark certainly had nothing on you. You might as well have stepped right out of a greeting card and straight into SoHo. Surprisingly, there was a small Christmas tree lot in the neighborhood, and not only were they selling real trees, but it was actually snowing as well. 

Even you raised an eyebrow at the image of yourself and Kylo walking hand in hand while wearing matching Burberry scarves. 

As promised, Kylo had already sent for his decorator, and everything was ready except for one key piece - the tree. Although he was always one for pristine aesthetics, even Kylo couldn’t hold in a grin every morning now as he was greeted with twinkling lights, garlands, and even a custom wreath on the front door with both of your initials on it. 

Although you technically didn’t live there, it certainly didn’t stop the man from adding accents as if you did. He was working on rectifying that fact either way, and hopefully by the end of the year he’d be able to convince a new (and very cute) roommate to move in. 

“This one?” You inquired at the beautiful evergreen pine.

“Darling, our living room would have to be the size of Rockefeller Center. That one is probably eight feet tall.”

You sniffed in mock annoyance before darting away and down a row of trees. Kylo was right on your heels as the behemoth chased you down each aisle until he finally caught up to your huffing frame. Throwing his weight forward, the man wrapped both arms around your middle before lifting you up into the air. Squealing in delight, you gasped as he effortlessly flipped your body around so that your noses were touching. 

Instinctively wrapping your legs around his middle, you giggled as he gave you a soft peck against your chilled lips. Kylo then nipped at your throat and growled, “Alright, little mouse. Time to pick something realistic so we can get out of the cold and back into bed.” He gave your bottom a cheeky squeeze before gently letting you back down to the ground. 

It almost seemed too good to be true. Any day now, Nicholas Sparks was going to come knocking on your door while asking for the rights to your life story. Because, quite frankly, everything was perfect.

Until it wasn’t.

Everything changed one benign Wednesday afternoon as you stepped off the executive elevator and onto your floor. Two cups of coffee in one hand, you were looking forward to giving Kylo his morning kiss alongside the kick of caffeine he required to be somewhat functional before 10 A.M. It was supposed to be a long day, and you knew the small gesture of love made a difference in his mood.

You had just set your coat and bag down at your desk when the morning silence was interrupted by muffled shouting coming from Kylo’s office. Turning to look through the frosted glass, you recognized the larger shadow as Kylo pacing back and forth. A second figure seemed just as tall, but much thinner. You assumed Kylo was in another argument with Hux, until the melodic, and namely female, voice traveled through the barrier. 

Suddenly the door flew open, and there stood Bazine Netal. 

You knew all about the wretched woman. After her antagonistic introduction, you did a bit of research on your own through a firsthand account from Finn and a rather extensive dive into Instagram. Thankfully, Rose was more than happy to keep you company, and four glasses of wine later even your best friend was aghast. 

At first glance, she seemed like any stereotypical socialite. Always traveling and posing with new designer spoils in a different city every week, she was the modern day social media “influencer’s” wet dream. 

Although her own personal feed was devoid of any mentions of romantic pursuits, Rose managed to sleuth up some images online of her draped over the arms of some well-connected, and most importantly _wealthy_ , men. Even Rose noticed the fact that each new beau introduced seemed to be more powerful and affluent than the next. 

Regardless, how she chose to live her life and made her ends wasn’t up for you to judge. But one key piece of gossip made the skin on your neck prickle in fear. 

Finn had confided over dinner one night, that _nobody_ ever crossed Bazine. There was a rumor that she not only collected Louis Vuitton bags, but also _information_. Information that she was happy to blackmail, trade, or taunt individuals with. That’s why most people were tight lipped about the woman and happy to pretend that she was just some daft model living it up in the city. 

In that moment of seeing her standing the doorway of Kylo’s office, you suddenly understood the fear in a very palpable way. 

She rested her head against the doorway and lazily roamed her eyes up and down your figure. Extending one finger out towards your direction, the woman made a “come hither” motion before turning to re-enter the room. 

Shakily walking into the office, an open newspaper on Kylo’s desk caught you attention. Your eyes instinctively read over the headline, and you let out an audible gasp.

_New York City’s Most Eligible Bachelors Fight Over Lover_

__

__

_The mysterious vixen photographed on Poe Dameron’s arm at the Lincoln Center Gala has recently been spotted getting cozy with Kylo Ren in SoHo. The identity of this enigmatic fox has yet to be confirmed. Although New York City is no stranger to social climbers, we can’t help but ask - just how did she dupe not one, but two, leading men? We’ll be keeping tabs on this elusive woman. All we can hope is that our poor bachelors come out this debacle unscathed._

You blinked back tears as each word served as a dagger into your chest. It was one thing for Bazine to attack your character, but to bring in two individuals you cared for deeply crossed a line. The lanky model smirked as your lip quivered. 

“W...why?” You breathed in shock. 

The woman slowly circled around to you and laughed. “Why not? Sometimes it’s fun to be a bitch for no reason.” 

Kylo immediately stepped in between and postured himself aggressively. “That’s enough Bazine. You were the one that left for that fucking hedge fund manager. I have no interest in playing games with you.”

“Perfect! We’re on the same page then, because I have no interest in playing games with you either...”

Bazine’s voice trailed off as she slowly stalked forward and pushed Kylo aside until her chest was nearly touching yours. Trailing a single well-manicured finger up your chest, the digit rested right underneath your chin. With a voice barely above a whisper she murmured, “Your girlfriend, on the other hand, is another story. And I think that I’d rather enjoy making your ‘little mouse’ squeak.”

Giving you a gentle push backwards, Bazine cackled as she turned to leave. Pausing by the doorway, she turned for one last word. “You shouldn’t have said ‘no’ to me, Kylo. I’ll ruin the both of you.”

The moment she disappeared into the elevator, you nearly collapsed onto the floor. Kylo gripped you tightly into his arms and pressed your cheek against his chest. Running his palm through your hair he soothed, “It’s okay. It’s okay. We’ll figure this out, I promise. I won’t let her. She can’t.” 

He leaned over the table, still clutching onto you with one strong arm, and picked up his desk phone. Fiercely shouting into the phone, you were too shell shocked to make out any of the words. All you could hear was a jumble of vowels and consonants as Kylo carefully pulled you towards the leather couch. 

The door creaked open, and Phasma briskly made her way to your side. Kneeling so she was eye-level, the woman held your trembling hands and asked Kylo, “What happened?” 

He was now pacing while running quivering fingers through his dark locks. Nervously scratching at his head he replied, “It’s Bazine. She’s pissed that I turned her down at the gallery, and now she’s here to wreak havoc. She...she knows too much.” 

Phasma stood and gave him a grim look. “How?” 

“When we were in Mykonos, she found some documents that I brought with me to work on. But that was years ago! I didn’t think she’d remember, more or less do anything with the information.” 

“Kylo. The ramifications if that information got out...you could lose your job. The government would get involved. Even if Bazine’s the one doing the squealing, you could go to jail for breaking the NDA.”

The man swung an arm out and swept everything off of his desk in a fit of anger. You flinched with every shatter of glass and clang of metal bouncing off of marble. 

“Kylo!” Phasma admonished as she reached over to pull you up and against her chest. Cradling your body against your own, she pressed smooth strokes along your spine. “And what about her?” 

“We’ve been da-“

Phasma coughed and interrupted, “As your HR rep, may I suggest that you not give me a detailed response?” 

“Collateral damage.” 

Kylo bent to the floor and picked up the newspaper to show his colleague. The pages fluttered back towards the ground as Kylo loosened his grip. Bringing both palms against his face, he felt the air around him grow thicker and thicker. Everything was in jeopardy - his career, his freedom, and most importantly the love of his life. 

He thought about all that he had slowly begun to hope for - a future filled with a happy home and you by his side. And now it was slowly dissolving piece by piece all because some woman from his past was feeling spiteful. 

To protect you, would be to lose you. And to lose you, would be to lose himself. 

Feeling Kylo about to spiral out of control, Phasma pulled herself up to her full height. Her voice was unwavering as she commanded, “You need to talk to your mother. If you’re to be a man, you won’t give up on what you want. What you _need_.” 

His breath stuttered for a moment before Kylo closed his eyes and leveled his breathing. Nodding once towards the woman, he felt his resolve harden. Delicately stepping forward, he pulled you from Phasma’s side into a soul-crushing hug. Gripping onto your back like he’d lose you any second now, Kylo whispered, “I’m going to take care of this. Don’t worry.” 

Leaning a forehead against your own, Kylo finished, “I love you.” 

You looked up at Kylo and whimpered. But despite your fear, you felt faith and optimism in your boyfriend. You would trust him with your life. 

“I love you, too.” 

“And I didn’t hear any of that,” Phasma quipped. 

You giggled as the tension lessened, and gave Kylo a quick peck as Phasma pretended to find her nails very interesting. Kylo gave your arms one last squeeze before grabbing his coat to head out. Phasma promised to keep you company, and wrapped an arm around your shoulder. 

The moment Kylo was out of the building, he pulled his cell phone from his back pocket and dialed a number he never thought he’d ever call. A few rings later, a smooth voice picked up. 

“This is Poe Dameron. Who’s this?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry! Kylo's no quitter, and the man's going to fight for what he loves. 
> 
> I'm not a lawyer, but I'm almost 100% sure you can't actually go to jail for breaking an NDA. Sued, for sure. Probably not jail though. But this is fantasy, and it's a whole lot more dramatic if you could, wouldn't you say? 
> 
> Also, in case it wasn't clear what dirt Bazine has on Kylo's job, I purposefully left it a bit vague. He does manufacture weapons, and takes on government contracts so she definitely knows some sensitive information. 
> 
> Thank you for reading! Wishing you all a lovely, fantastic, and amazing week.
> 
> *Edit: Thank you MissSprezza for the chapter title <3


	24. Overkill

Kylo attempted to steady his breath while he paced the lobby of Resistance Tech. Although he was on speaking terms with his mother, that didn’t mean that his reputation was pristine with her employees. Even Kylo had enough self-awareness to know that his name left a bitter taste in the mouths of many people. After all, one doesn’t embark on a ruthless crusade of systematic corporate hostile takeovers without making a few enemies alone the way.

Despite his desire to keep a low profile, nerves still got the best of Kylo Ren. His agitated pacing generated sharp clacks as the heel of his Berluti dress shoes made contact with the tiled marble underneath. 

“Wow, you really did get here in ten minutes,” Poe’s voice sounded from across the room.

Kylo advanced upon the man and hissed, “Took you long enough, Dameron!” 

Poe’s eyes narrowed as he took in Kylo’s entire demeanor. If he didn’t know better, Poe would have assumed that his adversary was looking for a fight. Kylo’s raven locks were ruffled from constant contact between his fingers and scalp, while his brown eyes had a rather wild look to them. Crossing his arms Poe replied, “You’re the one who wanted to chat. So what’s the emergency?” 

“Not here. Can we talk somewhere private?” 

The ex-pilot raised an eyebrow and laughed. “You, the CEO of biggest competitor, wants to be welcomed into our offices for a ‘chat’? Did I miss a memo or something, because last I checked you were still Satan incarnate.”

“Please.”

Dameron took a step back in shock. It was totally unlike Kylo Ren to say ‘please’. Sighing, Poe gestured for Kylo to follow. Swiping the man in, they ascended to the executive floor before closing the door to Poe’s private office. Sitting across from one another, Poe patiently waited for Kylo to explain himself. 

Reaching into the interior pocket of his suit jacket, Kylo pulled out the folded Page Six article. The piece of paper slid across the table, and Poe quickly skimmed the text with a grimace.

“Wh...”

“Bazine.” 

Poe let out a low whistle and slowly folded the article up. Pressing the tips of his fingers together, he hummed in thought. If it had been any other person, reputation be damned, Poe would have told Kylo to fuck off. But this was you. Resisting the urge to mutter an exasperated “I told you so”, he instead reached over for his cell phone. 

Typing into the device, he waited for the ping of a response before turning towards Kylo.

“I have an idea, but it’ll require a lot of sacrifice and trust from the both of us. Can you do that? For her?”

Kylo gave a shaky nod, and Poe continued, “It’ll probably be best to leave her out of this. She doesn’t need the stress. Let’s just get through Christmas first.”

* * *

After sufficiently calming you down through copious amounts of tea and chocolate, Phasma walked you out of the building where a private driver was waiting by the curb. Ushering you into the black sedan, Phasma wrapped her strong arms around your shoulders for one last hug. 

“Kylo will take care of the issue. He’s a tough guy, I wouldn’t worry about him,” Phasma soothed while helping you into the car. Leaning over with one arm draped over the open door she continued, “If there’s one guy I’d have to put my trust in, it would be him. Everything will be fine.”

The woman’s resolute demeanor emboldened you. Firmly nodding in response, you sat up straighter in an attempt to convey confidence. Phamsa shot you a smile and finished, “I knew Kylo saw something fierce in you. Now go on home to your man. He wanted me to tell you that you could let yourself in.” 

She then slammed the car door shut, and Phamsa rapped the hood twice to signal the driver it was time to leave. Pulling away from the curb, the car soothingly hummed underneath. Staring out the window at the passing cityscape, you thought about everything - your love for Kylo, the risk he took to be with you, and Bazine’s bitterness. 

The two of you knew from the start that pursuing a relationship came with its own unique set of risks and rewards. Even if you weren’t employed at the First Order, dating Kylo Ren would always come with its own uncertainties. After all, it seemed as if trouble always followed those in power. 

Yet, he pursued you anyway. A “little mouse” to most, but so much more to Kylo Ren. He saw something in you worth risking a career over. You were worth loving. 

As the car continued to propel forward, you decided that your life must as well. Fear would not compel your actions. Just as you were worth loving, Kylo Ren was worth fighting for. The tires skidded to a stop, and you climbed out of the vehicle a different woman. 

No, the strength was always there. Rather, you ascended the stairs to Kylo’s brownstone a _purposeful_ woman. One who could trust that the one she loved would come through for her.

Quietly locking the door behind, you tread upstairs towards the living room in search of Kylo. Following the sound of light music, you rounded the corner and gasped in surprise. 

The _entire_ living room was covered in white orchids from floor to ceiling. Not a piece of wall was left bare, and even the floor was filled with vases upon vases of the beautiful flower. A small walkway led from the entry to Kylo’s piano situated by the window. Even the instrument itself had a few vases sat upon it. 

He was perched on the bench, legs slightly spread with elbows resting upon his knees. Hearing you enter, Kylo slowly stood and made his way over to you. Your eyes flittered around the space, still in awe of how the living room had been turned into a piece of art. 

Reaching where you stood, Kylo gently gripped your trembling hands. You lifted your chin to look up into his warm eyes and gasped, “You...you’re not...” 

Understanding where your train of thought was going, Kylo let out a gentle laugh that was more of a rumble. “No. Not yet. But...perhaps someday. I just...I needed to let you know how important you are to me.” 

You nodded and tightened your grip upon his palms. Kylo held you gaze and smoothly whispered, “I had always known that I loved you, but I needed _you_ to know just how much. I don’t care who or what tries to stand between us. I’ll tear down every wall, swim through every ocean, and cross any desert to be by your side. I needed to let you know...to _show_ you...the depths of my love for you. I can only ask that you be patient for just a little bit longer. I swear that once all of the loose ends from my past have been tied up, we can finally start our life together. 

Softly smiling at Kylo, you shifted to laced your fingers together behind his neck. Leaning forward, you pressed a sweet kiss against his lips and replied, “Don’t be silly, Kylo. This _is_ our life. Good or bad, I’m on board and nothing makes me happier than being yours.” 

Kylo groaned into your neck. “I don’t deserve you. I say this so much, but God, I don’t deserve you.” 

You giggled in response as Kylo wrapped you up into his arms. Swinging you around in a circle, he sighed in happiness as he sat you back down. Smacking kisses along your neck, up your check, and then at your temple, Kylo felt confidence surge inside of his chest. He finally had a purpose in his life, and nothing was going to come between you. 

Resting his forehead against your neck, he murmured, “Something is happening, but I can’t tell you quite yet. Do you trust me?” 

“Of course, Kylo.” 

He smiled into your neck and pulled you closer. “Perfect. Until then, let’s just focus on Christmas, yeah?” 

You snickered and pushed him away from you by just a bit. Gesturing around the room you teased, “Winter wonderland via orchids?” 

Even the Christmas tree you picked out earlier had orchids poking out between the pine needles. Kylo burst out into laughter and rubbed an embarrassed hand through his hair. Perhaps he had overdone the gesture, but the man couldn’t help it. He always preferred things larger than life, and had a penchant for the dramatic. At least this time he took out his excess energy in a grand romantic gesture, and not by punching his fist through drywall. 

Kylo grabbed your shoulders and moved to position you just so. You looked on in confusion as he took a few steps back. The moment he pulled out his cellphone, you let our a moan in exasperation as he began to take photo after photo of you in the room. 

“Come on, just _one_ smile! I need a new wallpaper for my phone.” 

Staring into his excited eyes, you couldn’t help as a natural and honest grin slid across your features. Bounding towards the gleeful man, you sidled up to his side as you plucked the device out of his hands. Angling the phone up for a selfie, you cheesed for the camera as Kylo pressed a kiss against your cheek. 

Satisfied with the images, Kylo immediately set the home screen with your selfie, and the lock screen with an image of just you. Leaning over his shoulder to take a look you questioned, “Don’t you think that’s a big overkill, Mr. Solo?” 

Looking at you with a sincere expression he replied, “Never.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! So, I know that this chapter wasn't as fun, but I wanted to set up the next, and final, arch of the story. Things are about to heat up again, and I wanted to prep for it before diving right in.
> 
> Also, Kylo's flower wall may be overkill, but let's be honest - the man's a bit _extra_ if you ask me. If you follow fashion, it's based on Dior's "orchid wall" here:
> 
> [Orchid Wall](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1gpk_e0zsF8E02v9BQiaustMdTjcz-OUW/view?usp=sharing)
> 
> The entire thing was just so gorgeous, and I think I'd totally die if I came home to that. First from being woo'd, and then subsequently allergies. You win some, you lose some. 
> 
> Anyways, MERRY CHRISTMAS to those who celebrate! I'm free this week, so I'm going to try and bang out more chapters. But I also kind of turn totally useless on my days off so...fingers crossed for me? I'm trying to con my boyfriend into doing the majority of the cooking so I can write ;) 
> 
> As always, I'm so thankful for each and every one of my readers, and those who leave comments and kudos. YA'LL SERIOUSLY MAKE MY DAY <3


	25. Contact

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe that we reached 300 kudos! That's totally major for me, and my joy is all thanks to you! Thank you so much for reading, taking the time to leave comments, and your kudos. <3

Living in New York City meant that you were accustomed to the chaotic symphony created via traffic and pedestrians alike. Even in the dead of night, you found comfort in the temperate hum of the air conditioner by your window or the stray bark of a dog. It was in moments of complete silence that unnerved you. The lack of sound seemed unnatural and unwelcome. 

Which is why you found yourself nervously weaving your fingers together while standing within Kylo’s walk-in closet. Even within his penthouse, you could usually still hear the whirl of his central heating or gurgles from his pipes. Yet, in this moment, there was nothing. 

You stared at your reflection in the full-length mirror. Soft piles of organza gathered together underneath delicately embroidered flowers of sequin and silk. Some people say that they dress for battle, but in your opinion you looked more akin to a wounded victim. The crimson fabric mimicked blood bursting forth as the supple fibers draped over the curve of your hips. Even the red painted onto your lips held a dewy finish.

Perhaps you could chalk everything up to nerves that had yet to settle after the confrontation with Bazine. But what left you feeling most unsettled was Kylo’s own demeanor. One could argue that the man was simply anxious regarding the event tonight, but you knew your boyfriend well. The hollowness in his eyes wasn’t from anxiety. They certainly didn’t look lifeless due to work-related stress either.

Yet, he continued to put on a happy façade as his warm hands wrapped around your waist. Settling his chin into the crook of your neck he rubbed soft circles into your hip as he breathed, “You look beautiful, my love.”

“Kylo, I think that this is a bit much for your personal assistant.” Your voice trailed off as his fingers nimbly slid over the sparkling emeralds hanging from your ears. Kylo’s warm breath tickled your neck as he chuckled into your ear. “Nonsense. Everything was expensed through the company account. Employees get a stipend for public work events.” 

“I don’t think the stipend is five figures.” 

Kylo nonchalantly shrugged before releasing you to slip on his black tuxedo jacket. You turned to tighten the knot on his tie before gently sliding the flat of your palm down his chest.

“Are you sure about this? That it’s safe for us to go out together?” You asked while slipping on a pair of Gianvito Rossi pumps. The speckled gems on your feet were seriously overkill, but leave it to Kylo to find additional places on your body to throw some jewels.

He sighed while folding a pocket square in half. “I can’t guarantee anything. Bazine is unpredictable and thrives on making her enemies squim. But it’s imperative that we show her a united front. One that isn’t dictated by fear.”

You silently nodded and moved to exit the room. Kylo suddenly caught your hand and you stopped mid-step to turn towards the man. His breath hitched for a second before he murmured, “Do you trust me?” 

“Of course, sweetheart.” 

“And you know that I love you right?” 

Your head tilted in curiosity as you took in his grave expression. Sure, Kylo was rather _serious_ most of the time, but the air around the man was different tonight. It was almost somber. 

“Of course. I love you, too.”

* * *

You were headed to a dinner hosted by the First Order. In a few weeks time, they would reveal a monumental deal currently underway. Prior to the announcement though, it was imperative that they continued to court their current investors to ensure everyone’s cooperation once things began to move along.

If there was one thing you learned while working for the enterprise, it was that they liked things done rather _theatrically_. Nobody actually knew what was being negotiated. Kylo and Hux had managed to shroud the entire situation in secrecy. All anybody knew for sure, was that a lot of lives were about to change. 

Kylo tucked you into his side, relishing in a private moment where he could act like your boyfriend for just a second longer before resuming the relationship of employee/boss. The drive over to the restaurant was quick, and soon enough you were exiting to the flash of bulbs as press swarmed the car. 

Leaning over to your ear Kylo whispered, “I’m sorry sweetheart, but you’ll have to stand a few paces away from me so people don’t get suspicious.” 

You gave him a subtle nod and stepped back, more than happy to melt away into the background. Security pushed back reporters as they shouted questions regarding the upcoming news. 

_Kylo! Is it true that First Order is about to release one of the deadliest weapons since the advent of the nuclear bomb?_

_Bloomberg is reporting that First Order is acquiring over eight businesses across four countries. Are you concerned about monopoly laws being leveraged against your business?_

_Over here Kylo! Tell us why you’re sleeping with your assistant!_

The last question was just scarcely audible over the chorus of voices grabbing for Kylo’s attention, but you heard it anyways. You just barely caught the eye of a sharply dressed woman before she disappeared into the crowd. Thankfully, it seemed as if nobody else heard the question, but a queasy feeling still settled in the pit of your stomach. You couldn’t help but feel like it was a warning of some sort. 

You quickly followed Kylo into the building, and sighed in relief as the heckling was silenced. The cerulean French doors were tightly locked behind, keeping all manners of press away. With it, you hoped the mysterious woman would be left outside as well.

Kylo leaned over to you and conspiratorially whispered, “I still can’t believe that Hux booked out Per Se for the party. His ‘taste’ is going to bleed the company dry.”

Holding back a giggle, you looked around at the extravagant restaurant. The dining area had been cleared out in favor of a long banquet setting. It looked more appropriate for a medieval King’s feast, but you figured that was par for the course. There were certain expectations that came along with a thousand dollar tasting menu after all. 

The rest of the night followed with you trailing behind Kylo at a respectable distance. Every time a new guest would make a beeline for the man, you’d quickly lean in and whisper key facts into his ear. 

_That’s Mr. Yoshiba. He’s Chairmain of the Mitsui group. The woman to the right is his daughter. She’s set to inherit the company after she finishes her MBA from Harvard._

”Mr. Yoshiba! Miss Yoshiba! What a pleasure!” Kylo warmly greeted. You gave a demure nod and watched in silence as the trio continued on with pleasantries. It was impressive how well Kylo could put on a pleasant façade. 

People often whispered that Kylo Ren would be better suited as the commander of an army, with Armitage Hux serving as his general. The men were famous for their strategic and hostile business practices. Nothing was off the table if Kylo wanted it bad enough. 

There was once a steadfast CEO who refused to step down and sell his business to the Order. That was no problem for Kylo nor Armitage though. A rumor circulated that one by one, the two began to remove board members opposed to the sale by any means necessary. 

One member was slapped with a felony as evidence regarding his embezzlement magically surfaced and landed on a judge’s desk.

A second was forcibly removed when his torrid affair with a rather _young_ college student was splashed across Page Six. Right next to the image of his very pregnant and hysterical wife.

Then DEA burst into their offices to arrest a third board member for drug trafficking done between his business trips.

By then, the remaining board members were climbing over themselves to sell the business to First Order. 

You wondered if there would be a day when you wouldn’t have to mitigate the difference between Kylo Ren and Ben Solo. Kylo Ren was the man who buried you alive in paperwork, had a penchant for screaming, and made interns cry. Ben Solo rubbed the soles of your feet after work, hid love notes in your purse, and patiently held you at night when you went on rants regarding your career trajectory (or lack thereof). 

Watching as Kylo deftly navigated the tricky waters of corporate America, you deeply wished that he didn’t need to be a man torn in two. Perhaps a day would come when he could simply _be_. Could he still be a successful CEO without resorting to such ruthless behavior? 

A subtle nudge against your shoulder brought you back to attention as you met the icy blue eyes of Armitage Hux. Hand clutching onto a tumbler of brandy, his steely gaze roamed up and down over your body before resting back at your face. 

“So, this is the ‘little mouse’ I’ve heard so much about. I’m not surprised that Mitaka is so taken by you. The man was always easily swayed by _kindness_...” Crowding into your space just a hair more he breathed, “A _weakness_ , if you were to ask me.”

You looked shocked at his words, and willed yourself to maintain a neutral response, eyes searching for Kylo who was now nowhere to be seen. He must have been called away while you were lost in thought. Sensing your struggle, Hux laughed. Stepping forward just a bit more he continued, “Yes, I know. How could I not? I make it my business to stay informed. If knowledge is power, then I’m the most powerful man in America.” 

Just then, a slender hand slipped over his shoulders and came to rest down on his chest. Bazine draped herself over his torso from behind and gave you a gleeful grin. Like a panther staring down a deer she sneered, “I’m surprised Kylo let his little pet out of his sight! He’s not getting bored already, now is he?”

The woman gave you a faux sad pout as she slipped around Hux to lean against his shoulder. It seemed as if the air was thinning around your body as you faced the two intimidating individuals face on. Subtly rolling your shoulders backwards, you addressed the woman, “I’m surprised that your pimp let you out of his sight. You’re not running out of sugar daddys to fuck, now are you?” 

Hux snorted into his brandy and chortled, “The mouse has some bite. I can see why Kylo is interested.” Meanwhile, Bazine’s eyes narrowed as she shot you a glare that could melt glaciers. 

“Those are some fighting words from someone who’s nothing more than a hole for Kylo to fill until he gets bored of this good girl act.” 

Armitage let out a low whistle before turning to leave, muttering something about not wanting to get in the middle of a cat fight. 

Lifting your chin up in defiance you snorted, “You’d certainly know a thing or two about having your holes filled.” Bazine’s eyes widened in surprise before hissing, “You’re just a whore trying to sleep away your problems. Mommy and daddy didn’t love you enough, so you need to fill the void with a sad fuck? Actually, you two deserve each other. Kylo always had bad taste, you know. The poor son of a bitch was never good enough for his parents, so the only thing he could do was find a lay willing to...”

A gasp sounded as the back of your hand made contact with her cheek. It was as if time stood still while a hush fell over the patrons surrounding you. Time stretched onwards until it rebounded like a rubber band and everything moved forward in a flash. Security suddenly materialized, and you were escorted out the dining room. 

You were deposited on the street, and Kylo emerged shortly thereafter looking stressed and concerned. Running up to the man, you sputtered, “Mr. Ren! I didn’t mean...she just...the awful things she...” 

He cut you off with a wave of his hand. “I need to wrap up the dinner. You should go home.” 

“Oh. I...” You stuttered in embarrassment.

Kylo gave you a level look and sighed, “Get some rest at home... _your_ home, with Rose.”

The last sentence served as a stake through your heart. He had never made your felt lesser, or that you were unwelcome in his space. The sudden change in attitude left you reeling as tears welled up in your eyes. 

“You...you said you were on my side.” 

“I am always in support of my employees unless they assault an important guest of the First Order.” You began to mentally shut down, not even realizing that Kylo had pushed some cab fare into your hand. He gave you a final look before sweeping back into the restaurant. 

The last thing you saw before bursting into tears was the swath of black covering his back, and the swinging blue doors as they shut you out in the cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me! Things are about to get tough again, but I swear there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. :( 
> 
> Your dress [here](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1QC98BxSd8bLv9Ooc2TIyj4ZMD71iU78t/view?usp=sharing), and your shoes [here](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Z2EvjVbUE8_0Cc5x03xLmnkHUEkBy0NT/view?usp=sharing).
> 
> Also, IRL I don't think it's cool to use a woman's sexual exploits as ammo during a fight, nor do I think you slap people. BUT, Bazine is a total bitch, and this is fantasy, so slap away. Next chapter, we deal with the consequences of the night, and you find a surprising new ally.


	26. IANVS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh, I was totally taken aback by the reactions to my last chapter! Ya'll are _mad_ at Kylo, and rightly so! That being said though, there's still a lot more turbulence coming up for these two, so please hold on! Sorry in advance :(

In a desperate bid to find some sense of positivity in your life, you sent a silent prayer of gratitude that it was Saturday. At the very least, you could have a weekend to regroup before returning to work on Monday. You had hoped that it would at least give you some time to talk to Kylo and figure out what in the hell happened out there.

Because, yeah - slapping Bazine was really, really, really bad. Terrible. Definitely not okay. But leaving you out in the cold like that? Kylo’s change in demeanor was so sudden, you could suffer from whiplash. One minute he was your endearing boyfriend imploring you to _trust_ him and _love_ him, and the next he was tossing you out?

Rose, the ever idealistic best friend, consoled you with a bottle of white wine the moment she saw your tear stained eyes upon arriving home. Wrapping you up in a thick comforter, she sat you down at the couch and silently listened as your recounted the night. 

“Your relationship has to be a secret or else it could jeopardize your jobs, right? Weren’t you guys outside where the press was hiding? Maybe he’s just putting on an act in case a reporter was hiding nearby!” 

Sniffling into a tissue, you nodded but didn’t dare to hope for the best. She didn’t know that all of your calls went straight to voicemail, and your text messages went unread. It was as if the man had actually went ahead and _blocked_ you.

If you had any doubt on the matter, a single piece of card stock cleared up matters Sunday afternoon. Hand delivered without a stamp, you recognized the cream colored stationary as you pulled out a card with familiar script scrawled across the front. 

_Little Mouse,_

_While I don’t believe that you will understand, I can only wish for your forgiveness. Perhaps some idiom regarding bad timing could be applicable, but it seems futile at this point. What I mean to say, is that we should part ways before our relationship brings us further pain or complication._

_I do hope that you’ll find it in yourself to forgive me someday. If that day shall ever come, it would be in your life in any capacity- even as a friend._

_I wish I could be more eloquent with my words, but some things are better left unsaid._

_Yours truly,  
B.S._

Your hands began to violently shake as you read and re-read the words. The faint ink strokes began to bleed together as your tears washed the letters together in a torrent of your despair. Maybe you could look back on this moment in a few years time and laugh. After all, didn’t you just receive the most elegant “it’s me, not you” breakup letter of all time? 

Maybe someday you’d be able to see through the haze of confusion and figure out _what the fuck happened_. 

Maybe someday the wounds won’t be so fresh, and you won’t feel an itch to scratch your skin off. 

Maybe someday...maybe...

Calloused hands wrapped around your shoulder and tugged you around. Poe’s gaze was soft as he slowly pulled you into a tight embrace. Your heart continued to shatter into a million irreplaceable pieces as you sobbed on the sidewalk. 

“Let’s get you inside. I’ll call the gang,” he cooed into your ear. 

Within minutes, Finn had thundered down the stairs while Rose uncorked another bottle of wine. The trio patiently waited out your sobs as you hiccuped incoherent babbling. Rose immediately flew into a fury, shifting between platitudes regarding how you didn’t need a man to be happy and her wrath towards Kylo’s impersonal letter. 

While Finn and Rose took turns offering up their words of encouragement, you couldn’t help but notice Poe’s reticence during the whole ordeal. You had expected the man to be the most vocal regarding the breakup, but he was surprisingly mum. Although his lips were set in a fine line, his eyes were rather vacant. It was as if he were attempting to detach himself from the situation. 

You weren’t the only one to notice the subtle change in attitude as Finn nudged his roommate in the rib. “Dude, don’t you have something to say? Anything?” 

Poe cleared his throat and awkward supplied, “This, too, shall pass?” 

“Oh my fucking God,” you groaned. Standing to your feet, you snatched up the comforter and stomped to your bedroom. Rose shot Poe a glare and hurried to help you into bed while Finn gave him a silent look that clearly read “ _really, dude?_ ”.

The next morning, you severely regretted drinking the weekend away. Because the only thing worse than facing your ex-boyfriend/boss was facing him hungover. Sluggishly dragging your feet towards your desk, you internally cursed yourself when you caught sight of Phasma patiently waiting by your desk. 

“Morning, Phas,” you tried to chirp in friendly manner. 

Gooseflesh rippled up your arm as you took in her steely expression. Gesturing towards Kylo’s office, she lead you into the room where the man was already seated. Taking the chair in front of the table, you nervously tugged at your fingers while Phasma toyed with a recording device. 

The metal clicked, and Phasma lowered herself to the seat directly next to you. “I’m informing you that this conversation will be recorded. Whatever you say will be transcribed and shared with external parties. Understood?”

“Y...yes.” 

“State your first and last name please.” 

Your eyes looked wild as you turned towards Kylo in confusion. The man’s brow creased in distress, but remained silent nonetheless. Tilting his head downwards, he indicated for you to answer the question. Where your loving boyfriend once stood, now a stranger sat. 

To think that you had considered a future with this man - marriage and children, even. Now even the idea of getting a coffee with him was laughable. How could so much have changed so quickly? 

Shaking off tears, you quietly answered the question. Phasma reached over the table and picked up a newspaper. Sliding the papers towards you she asked, “Could you read this please?” 

Palms sweating, you awkwardly cleared your throat before reading: 

_Jealous Personal Assistant Loses Control At Dinner Hosted by First Order._

_Kylo Ren’s personal assistant was caught physically assaulting socialite and model Bazine Netal on Friday night. Sources claim that Ren’s assistant is the mysterious vixen perviously snapped getting cozy with both Kylo Ren and Poe Dameron. We’re speculating that the attack was one motivated by jealousy._

_Miss Bazine has graciously refused to press charges, stating, “I just hope that the poor girl can get some help. She’s clearly mentally unstable.”_

The thin paper rippled as you shakily lowered it back to the desk. Phasma pulled out a notepad and clicked her pen. Crossing one leg over the other she addressed you again. “Negative press of any sort towards Mr. Ren and the First Order is unacceptable. Have you ever, in the past or present, been romantically involved with Mr. Ren?” 

It seemed as if words were collecting in your throat, threatening to asphyxiate you. You were unable to get the syllables out, and began to choke.

“Miss. Please calm down. I need you to truthfully and calmly answer the question.”

Your eyes searched Kylo’s face for any sense of direction, but the man remained expressionless in austere silence. Glancing down at the table again, you caught sight of his fists tightly clenched. Closing your eyes momentarily, you sighed, “No. I have never been involved with Mr. Ren outside of our professional relationship.”

Each word was a fresh cut into your flesh. Every lie served as another wound threatening to split open in a torrent of suffering and hollowness. Every second of Kylo’s silence began to erode at months of happiness and love. 

“And has Mr. Ren ever made any sexual advances towards you?”

“N...n...” One last look at Kylo before you whispered, “No.”

“Please recount what lead up to your attack on Miss Netal Friday night.”

“Miss Netal said some...disparaging things regarding...my employment. And I reacted based on instinct.”

Phasma finished scribbling something down on her pad and sighed. She almost looked apologetic, even if her following words weren’t. 

“I must inform you that as of now, your tenure at First Order is severed. Your final paycheck will be mailed, and you have one hour to gather your things before security will escort you off premises.”

You shot to your feet and forced yourself to remain expressionless. Your pride would not allow you to cry. Especially not in front of the man who had given you everything right before snatching it all back. 

Storming out of the room, you ignored the clatter of Kylo’s shoes as he rushed behind you. A box was already waiting on your seat, and you scoffed at the _thoughtfulness_. You began to toss things into the cardboard when Kylo’s hand reached out to grip your wrist.

Tugging your hand away as if it had touched acid, you quietly hissed, “Don’t touch me. Don’t you dare lay a fucking hand on me.”

“Please. I just...you need to know...there...”

“I don’t care why you have to do this _Mr. Ren_. How...how could you humiliate me like this?”

“If you could just understand-“

“There’s nothing to understand that you haven’t shown me.”

You angrily tugged on a manila folder too quickly, causing a mountain of binders and papers to suddenly cascade across the table. One particular binder flew across the desk and pushed your unicorn mug off. It fell towards the marble floor and promptly shattered into a hundred pieces.

You stared at Kylo’s gift and then immediately looked upwards to meet his eye. Kylo bit his lip in a grimace and you ignored the pained expression.

Shoving one last folder into your box, you hefted it in both arms and stepped over the broken glass. Turning to give him one last look you whimpered, “Goodbye, Mr. Ren. It...it was a pleasure working for you... while it lasted.”

* * *

Still clutching onto your box, you stepped onto the street feeling defeated, and frankly, confused. You still didn’t understand Kylo’s behavior. 

A black Escalade suddenly pulled up to the curb and stopped by your side. The blacked out window slowly rolled down, and you gasped in surprise at the woman it revealed.

Leia leaned out the window and called out, “Hello, dear! Why don’t you get in and have a little chat with me?”

Looking around in surprise, you nervously stepped forward as she swung the door out. Sliding over, she patted the vacant space by her side. She eyed the box of office supplies you held in your arm as you climbed into the car.

“I take it that you have a rather eventful morning?” Leia gestured towards the box of supplies in your lap.

“You could say that. I was, uh, fired.”

Leia clicked her tongue. “I see. I love my son. I really do. But while I can appreciate his prowess in business, he’s...ah...excuse my language, but he’s a fucking idiot when it comes to interpersonal relationships.”

You gave her a half-hearted chuckle and politely turned to look out the window. The car was snaking up an unfamiliar street before it stopped in front of a brick warehouse by the river. 

Following Leia’s lead, you exited the vehicle and walked into the building. Upon stepping through the front doors, you were shocked to find that it was actually an office. Apparently the warehouse had been remodeled into a modern working space.

“Welcome to Resistance Tech, darling.”

As if on cue, Poe emerged from a meeting room and caught sight of you. “Sweet pea! What are you doing down here?”

Leia stepped up to his side and handed him the morning newspaper. Poe scanned the page and then crumpled the paper in anger. The poised woman gave him a knowing look and gestured towards you. “She was relieved of her duties at First Order this morning. Although I know that I could never atone for Benjamin’s mistakes, I’d still like to help in some capacity. I believe that there’s a role for her here at Resistance? One more suited for her abilities?”

Poe’s face lit up as he threw an arm around your shoulder. “That’s right! There’s a position in the marketing department that’s perfect for my favorite shutterbug!”

Leia flashed you a playful smile and shooed the two of you away.

Walking up a flight of stairs, you couldn’t help but notice a stark difference between First Order and Resistance. Where the Order was all rigid lines and stoicism, you were now surrounded by open air as light flooded in through wide planes of floor to ceiling glass.

It seemed as if everyone were more friends than coworkers here. Instead of cubicles, tables were pushed together in an open floor plan. Individuals waved at Poe as he passed by, and there was no shortage of greenery around the office.

Poe continued to chatter in your ear. Pushing down a wave of sadness, you decided that it was time to embrace the new year. You would let your past die, and with it, Kylo Ren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, thank you, thank you for reading! I honestly LOVE reading your feedback and thoughts, and they do inform my writing! These two are embarking on a difficult chapter of their lives, and it's about to get a whole lot more crazy-town. Please be patient with me. I swear these kids will figure things out somehow! <3


	27. Forced Propulsion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I was about to take the angst up another notch but it was starting to get a bit unpleasant. Even for me. Besides, I think we all collectively hate Bazine enough as it is. Right? _Right?_

It was almost amazing how well you could lie to yourself. Perhaps it was out of self-preservation, but either way you refused to allow the guilt of moving forward with life to eat away at your conscience. Didn’t you deserve a chance at normalcy? Even if the whole thing was a façade? After all, it was too easy to waste away if you continued to dwell on the past.

By seven o’clock in the morning, you were in the kitchen guzzling a smoothie before work. By seven-thirty you’d bid Rose goodbye before meeting Poe in front of the apartment. You’d then split a cab to work, where you were now a photographer for the Resistance. 

Despite the troubles in your personal life, you absolutely adored the job. Working closely with the marketing team, you helped shoot campaigns promoting their advocacy and charity work. It allowed you to finally stretch your creativity, and more importantly, get back on your feet. For the first time in your life, you felt like you were finally building a career for yourself. 

The steps were incremental, but they soon grew into a formidable sense of self-confidence and optimism towards your future. At night, you’d nurse a glass of white wine as you slowly added more to your portfolio. From there, you began to take on more freelance gigs, thankful that Resistance was so understanding and flexible with their hours.

Your platonic relationships improved as well. Weekly “family” potluck resumed on a regular basis. Rose was also happy to have your attention again as your schedule filled up with movie marathons, taco Tuesdays with Paige, and supporting Finn in his newest musical. 

As much as you relished in the newfound joy of your independence, part of you still had to push down the loneliness gnawing at your heart. If you busied yourself by running around all of Manhattan, then hopefully you wouldn’t have the energy to think about _him_.

Too bad fate had other plans in mind.

Because when Poe showed up at your desk with _that_ look on his face, you knew it would be trouble. “Cupcake?” Poe tentatively asked while thrusting a box with “Magnolia” scrawled over the top towards your direction.

“Spit it out.”

Sighing, Poe placed the confections on your desk anyways. Pulling up an empty seat, he slid over to face you. “We need you to cover an event...” His voice dipped as he meticulously pulled out a cupcake.

“And...?”

“It’s a big charity auction. Tons of socialites, celebrities, and folks in the business world. You know, big fish kind of people. Even Vogue will cover what everyone is wearing.”

“I don’t know what that has to do with me.”

“The PR team needs lifestyle images of the event for press. We’re hoping you can get some headshots of celebrities in support of our newest charity. I also need someone as my plus one. _And_ , it would be amazing for your portfolio. It’s like...tons of birds with one stone!”

“I still don’t get why you’re being so cagey about it.”

Your eyes narrowed as Poe began to play with the succulent on your desk. Some dirt spilled onto the smooth surface and the man pushed it around with an index finger.

He murmured, “You know that big First Order announcement? It’s being delayed. Something about a hiccup in paperwork. But since they already put deposits down for the venue, they’re turning it into that charity auction. And because Resistance runs in the same circles, we need to attend to maintain a good public image. You know, like we’re gracious enemies.”

“Oh, that makes it easy for me then. Where do I turn in my resignation letter?”

Poe rolled his eyes and brushed the dirt onto the floor. “Don’t be dramatic. I’ll be there, and it’s not like you’ll have to talk to _him_ or anything. Besides, it’ll be a perfect ‘fuck you’ moment. You know, show him just how badass you are. Not that you weren’t before. You’re just more like _in your face_ badass.”

Sometimes you forgot how much Poe liked to chatter. Especially when he was trying to goad you into doing something. Rolling your eyes, you sighed, “Fine.”

Which was how you ended up on Poe’s arm that weekend. In an act of cheesy symbolism, you shucked off the typical flouncy attire Kylo preferred in favor of a sharp pantsuit. Besides, it just made practical sense. Mobility was kind of important if you were going to run around snapping photos of everything. 

It was easy to fall into a rhythm with Poe at work. You had the added bonus of calling him your best friend, which meant you could relax knowing he’d keep you safe while swimming with the sharks. Rolling up to the gallery, the feeling of walking up as a guest (and more importantly, an equal) felt foreign to you. 

Not that you had ever felt ashamed of your position at the First Order. You were just aware of exactly where you stood - Personal Assistant to Mr. Ren. 

Now, you were greeted as an individual. You didn’t even have to be scrutinized underneath the lens of being Kylo’s girlfriend. You could be yourself - just with a fancy new job title tacked onto the end of your name. 

It was exciting, really. Your clients were thrilled with your work, and with the way you were being referred, it seemed as if you could really build a name for yourself as a photographer. For once, the idea of _creative director_ didn’t seem so far fetched. You were establishing a portfolio worth of the title, after all. 

Poe pulled you into his side, hand resting at your back as you posed for photographs. Lightbulbs rapidly blinked while reporters scrambled to take a picture of Poe Dameron with his supposed mysterious muse. Poe flashed his million-watt smile despite reporters clamoring to throw questions at the two of you. 

“Mr. Dameron! How does it feel to be the victorious suitor against Kylo Ren?” 

“Smile for the camera! How long have you two been dating? Will things change now that you’ve gone public?” 

“Will this love triangle affect relations between First Order and Resistance Tech?” 

A master at navigating sticky situations, Poe gave a relaxed wave of his hand and chuckled at the questions. “Isn’t it amazing how quickly stories can spiral out of control?” Gesturing towards you he continued, “She is not only our Director of Photography, but a personal _friend_ as well.” Rattling off the website of your portfolio, he mentioned that your work would speak for itself. With a wink, he turned to lead you into the gallery. 

Throughout the night, you’d waver between meeting new individuals Poe introduced and photographing the event. Everything was going rather well until you literally bumped into the last person you wanted to see. 

“Oh! Excuse m...” The vowel died on your lips as your eyes lifted up to meet soft caramel ones that were somehow both familiar and distinctly foreign at the same time. 

Kylo looked you up and down with a tight frown pulled across his lips. Knowing his quirks, you noticed that his hands were fisted inside the pockets of his suit pant. His voice was strained as he muttered, “Hello. You - uh - you look good.” 

“Really? Is _this_ what’s happening now?” You sighed. Tucking an errant stand of hair behind your ear, you then adjusted the strap of your camera across your shoulder. Noticing the movement, Kylo gestured towards the DSLR and replied, “I heard about the job. Congratulations. I always knew that you had it in you.” 

“Sure didn’t feel that way when you sprang a surprise deposition on me.” 

“If you could just understand...the power Bazine holds to ruin my... _our_...reputations. The implication...” 

Tossing your hair back with a flick of your wrist, you shot Kylo a cold glare. Leaning forward ever so slightly, you hissed, “Here’s some advice _Mr. Ren_. If you care so much about your _reputation_ , maybe try to not _fuck your next personal assistant_.” 

Whirling around on your heels, you stomped away without a second glance. 

Shaking off the adrenaline of seeing Kylo again, you stalked around the auction items. Perhaps pretending that you could even afford the starting bid on a yacht would be the perfect distraction. It took all of your energy to stifle an eye roll at each item. Post-breakup, everything just seemed superfluous. 

No amount of Gucci could have dampened the pain of losing Kylo. 

Just as your mood was about to finally improve, Kylo appeared in front of you yet again. Slightly breathless, he reached out and grabbed your wrist in an effort to stop you from running off again. 

“Just _listen_ to me! I’m trying to...” 

Fire ignited inside of your stomach as you growled, “No! I don’t owe you _shit_. You...you’re a liar! All this talk about _trust_ and _love_ and in the end I was just a plaything for you. Well, I have no interest in being your little mouse or hearing whatever bullshit you’re about to spew in my direction!”

“It’s not like that! I didn’t have a choice! If you only...”

“What’s going on here, guys?” Poe’s smooth voice cut in over Kylo’s baritone.

“Nothing. Nothing at all,” you spat, wincing slightly at your misdirected venom towards Poe. Brushing off your agitation, Poe wrapped a friendly hand around your elbow and pulled you to stand behind him. Shooting a serious look at Kylo, he hissed, “You shouldn’t be talking to her.” His words held an edge, and you wondered if there was another meaning behind them. All you knew for sure, was that they sounded like a threat. 

Kylo’s hands began to shake - a tell that he was about to throw or smash something. Refusing to allow yourself to be thrust in the middle of yet another scandal between the two men, you quickly turned to leave. 

“Come on, Poe. Let’s go home.” You refused to acknowledge the pain painted across Kylo’s features at the word _home_. At one time that word meant somewhere, _anywhere_ , with Kylo. But those days seemed to have been put behind him. And if Kylo could go about his merry way, then you could too. 

No, you wouldn’t feel guilty at the agony etched into every crease on Kylo’s face. 

No, you couldn’t feel regret for the end of your relationship.

No, there was no remorse to be found in moving on with you life.

Yes, you could continue to lie to yourself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cue _it's too late to apologizeeeeeee_. Kylo's barely keeping it together :( 
> 
> Seems like our little mouse has some fangs on her. Next chapter, a new character puts everyone on edge.
> 
> As always- thank you, thank you, _thank you_ for your comments and kudos and all around love. I love reading your takes on the fic, even if they're super mad/sad at Kylo! I just hope that the ending will do your feelings justice. That's right - we're getting there!


	28. Hello, And Your Name Is?

You had hoped that the weather would let up somewhat, but it seemed that mother nature was keen on mirroring the turbulence of your emotional state. Icy winds whipped around your face, causing your cheeks to burn red at the assault. You turned the corner on Astoria Boulevard and raced home, excited to make friends with a big mug of hot cocoa. 

A strange man standing at the front door caused your feet to stutter. His reflexes were quick as lightening as his head snapped around to look in your direction before a “hello” could even be uttered. 

He seemed as if he were about to embark on an expedition. His rugged parka was lined with fur and smattered with pockets and zippers all along the torso. Long cargo pants were tucked into dusty combat boots, and several day old scruff was growing in on his face.

You stepped up to the stranger and inquired if he needed any help. Apparently you were just the woman he was looking for. 

“Cassian Andor, intelligence officer with the Federal Bureau of Investigation,” he introduced. You watched in suspicion as the man stomped on a finished cigarette with the heel of his boot. Maybe you had been watching way too much Law and Order. Weren’t FBI agents supposed to be all suave and slick in fine suiting?

Nodding towards the front door he asked, “May I come in? I have a few questions regarding your tenure at First Order.” 

What kind of trouble had Kylo gotten himself into? Worry seeped into your thoughts as you gave the agent a shaky nod. Unlocking the entrance, and then subsequently the door to your apartment, you stomped snow off of your boots and lead Cassian into the kitchen. 

“Would you like some tea? Coffee?” You inquired. 

“Coffee would be great. Sugar, if you have it.” 

A silent nod was thrown in his direction as you busied yourself in the kitchen. Wasting no time, he took out a small pad of paper and a fountain pen. “Please, don’t feel alarmed. I’m merely looking into a few accusations leveraged against your previous employer.” 

“First Order in general, or Kylo Ren?” 

The man raised an eyebrow and you could have sworn he smirked. “Would there be a difference to you?” 

“No. I just want some clarity on what we’re talking about.” You set the mug down in front of Cassian and settled in across the table with a cup of your own. 

“Kylo Ren, then.” 

Cassian slowly stirred in some sugar. Only the clinking of his spoon repeatedly hitting the side of porcelain filled the silence. Snow began to flutter outside of the kitchen window, gently dusting whatever shrubbery was left in a fine powder. 

A heartbeat passed and then Cassian ventured, “How long have you known your boss?” 

“Former boss. About a year or so?” 

“Have you been in contact with him since you were fired? Any phone calls, text messages, or anything of the sort?” 

“No. I did run into him a few days ago at a charity auction. But we didn’t really talk.” 

Cassian’s pen scratched across the surface of the paper as he jotted down notes. You couldn’t help but feel like you were being scrutinized. 

“Did Kylo Ren ever discuss First Order business with you outside of a professional setting?”

“Mr. Ren and I never talked about anything business related outside the scope of my role as a personal assistant. Yes, I was privy to sensitive information, but only when handling paperwork. A non-disclosure agreement was part of my contract.” 

“Just to confirm, you have never, in any capacity, been in his vicinity as he handled First Order business outside of headquarters? Say, at his home office?” 

“What? No!” Your voice sounded incredulous at the accusation. 

Cassian sounded nonchalant as he continued to scribble on the pad. “No offense meant, miss. Just covering all of my bases here. Now, your relationship with Mr. Poe Dameron? How long has he been your neighbor?” 

“Several years now.”

“And your relationship? Purely platonic?” 

“Of course! We...excuse me, Mr. Andor. What does my relationship with Mr. Ren and Poe have to do with anything?” 

“Nothing for you to worry about.” 

Thrusting your hands into your lap, you mentally willed the shaking to stop. Mr. Andor’s tone may have been friendly, but he felt anything but. Despite your nerves threatening to spill over, you seemed to be a fine enough actress. Perhaps weeks of denying anything to do with Kylo was paying off, because Cassian snapped his notebook shut and tucked it back into his jacket without any protest.

Finishing off the coffee with one last swig, he sat the mug down and uttered a quick “thanks, I’ll be in touch” before sweeping out of the apartment. 

Locking the door behind the agent, you rested your forehead against the door and huffed a sigh. Collecting your thoughts for a moment, you then flung the door open to storm upstairs towards Poe’s apartment. Fists colliding against the wooden door, you didn’t care to watch the volume of your voice as you shouted, “Open up you asshole!” 

Just before you flew into a rather creative string of vocabulary, the door swung open to reveal a concerned Finn. His expression looked panicked as he shouted, “Jesus Christ, woman! What’s wrong? Do I need to call the cops?” 

Pushing him aside, you retorted, “Nope! But Poe might when I’m done with him.” Stalking into the apartment, you made a beeline for Poe’s bedroom. Not even bothering to knock, you practically kicked the door down. The man was simply reading in an armchair, and looked up in surprise.

“Sweet pea! What are you doing here?” 

“I don’t know, Poe. Does the name Cassian Andor sound familiar to you?” 

“What the hell are you talking about?” Poe looked concerned as he dog eared the page in his hand. You narrowed you gaze at the man as he set the novel down to walk towards your direction. In Poe’s defense, he did look genuinely confused. 

“A FBI agent made himself comfortable in my kitchen while interrogating the living hell outta me about Kylo and yourself. What can you tell me about that?” 

“Fuck!” Poe hissed. Running a hand through his curly locks, he began to pace the floor. His mind was racing so fast, you swore you could hear the man think. Snatching up the phone charging by his nightstand, he quickly thumbed through it while maintaining his pace. 

“Poe. Whatever is going on, you have to tell me. There is an _FBI agent_ involved! What’s going on?” 

Your friend had already moved to his closet, tugging out a sweater and jacket he began to speedily dress himself in. Anger swelled in your chest before you finally exploded with a scream, “Poe! What the fuck is going on? I feel like I’m losing my goddamn mind here. Like everyone knows what’s going on except for me!”

He stuttered for a second at the door before turning to face you. Reaching out to place a warm hand on your shoulder he sighed, “I gotta go and take care of this. It’s...”

“Don’t say it’s ‘nothing’. I swear to God I will kick you in the balls if you tell me it’s nothing!” 

“Fine. It’s _something_. But...your safety requires your ignorance. I know that you’ve been put through the wringer, but we need you to trust us right now. Just a little bit longer, sweet pea. Can...can you do that for us?” 

Poe looked broken as he pleaded with you, and the only thing you could do was quietly nod. This was Poe, for goodness sake. He might as well have been your brother. Sure, you were scared out of your wits, but what other choice did you have? At least he was being somewhat honest with you regarding the situation. 

He patted you softly on the back before Finn appeared in the hallway. Two mugs of tea in his hands, he gestured towards the living area. With a quick wave and friendly peck on the cheek, Poe disappeared as he flew down the stairs and out on the street. 

Meanwhile, you settled on the couch while Finn texted Rose to come upstairs for dinner and tea. While the man was busy fiddling with his phone, a single word suddenly rang in between your ears.

_We._

“We” - implying that Poe and additional figures were involved in some crackpot plan that clearly involved yourself. Biting your bottom lip, you couldn’t help but feel the ugly feeling of betrayal slide down your spine. Why was everyone in your life so keen on keeping secrets from you? 

The front door creaked open, and you looked up to see a Rose enter with a loaf of bread in one hand and a cotton tote bag stuffed to the brim with various jars and bags in the other. Standing at the entrance she offered you a warm smile. 

Holding up the items like she was showing off some spoils of war, Rose cheesed, “Sounds like we’re in need of a charcuterie board?” 

Fine. You’d eat first and then deal with the mess you were unwittingly a part of. Because if an FBI agent was going to be poking around your life, you were definitely in need of a full stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I just say, holy cow?! 350 kudos! Sure feels like a million kudos to me. I know, I know. I'm totally one for the dramatics. But when I first starting writing this fic, I never imagined that it would develop and grow the way it did. TBH I just wanted an excuse to write about a fictional character buying a ton of fictional shit, haha. BUT JESUS, you guys seriously blow me away with your support. I wish I could give all of ya'll a hug and some freshly baked cookies <3
> 
> Onto the story! It seems as if our little group may be finding themselves in a sticky situation. Next chapter: we have a little bit of fun, and then a little bit of sad. Because Kylo couldn't make an appearance this chapter, I'll try and get the next out in a few days. Thanks for coming along with me on this crazy ride of emotions!


	29. Truth Serum

“Explain to me, again, why I love you and will _not_ strangle you on the sidewalk?” You huffed in irritation as you bent over to fix the strap of your stiletto for what felt like the thousandth time. Paige’s melodic laugh tinkled as she crouched down to fix your shoe for you. Slapping away your fumbling fingers, she tugged the shiny narrow strip of leather down another hole for a snug fit. 

“Come on, this is totally in the post-break up playbook. In fact, it’s long overdue if you ask me!” Tapping your ankle with a manicured finger, she stood up and placed both hands on your shoulders. Playfully shaking your slender frame she jokingly scolded, “It’s just clubbing! We’re not asking you find a fiancé! Dance a little, drink a little...”

“Maybe kiss a little,” Rose smoothly interjected. 

Rolling your eyes, you groaned at the two women. It was impossible to muster up any willpower against the combined persuasive forces of the Tico sisters. Especially if a good time was involved. As per usual, Rose totally snuck up on you - one minute you were shrugging off your parka ready for a Friday night date with the Chinese takeout place down the street...

And the next you were squeezed into a sleeveless “garment” that was honestly neither top nor dress, but something in between. Paige promised that the infinite wardrobe malfunction possibilities would be _so_ worth it. 

Resisting the urge to smack the younger Tico sister with the back of your bedazzled clutch, you stalked towards the entrance of the club. Breezing right through the line, the three of your made an immediate beeline for the bar. 

“Dude, this place is really nice. Like, way above our pay grade nice,” you hissed into Rose’s ear. A mischievous glint flashed in her eye as she caught the attention of a rather attractive bartender. 

Raising a business card with a short handwritten note penned on the back in the air, she handed off the stiff card to the man who gave it quick once over. Tucking it into his back pocket, he stuck a free hand out to the shorter woman and introduced himself. “Miss Tico! Such a pleasure to have you party with us tonight. My name is Javier, and I’ll be taking care of your group tonight. Shall I show you to the V.I.P section?” 

Rose winked and nodded before tucking your hand into her elbow. Leaning over she whispered in your ear, “One of my clients owns the club. I found a malfunction in the engine of his private plane right before takeoff. Saved the man from death! So he promised me a night I’d never forget as a token of appreciation.” 

The four of you snaked through several darkened rooms and hallways before being ushered into a private area. Separated from the main floor by a set of gauzy curtains, the space was large enough to house a private bar, seating, and small dance floor. Instantly, you could tell that the patrons here were of another caliber. 

Still, Javier didn’t bat an eye as he showed you to a nice leather booth in the back. A bottle of champagne was already chilled in ice, with several empty flutes scattered around the table. 

“Ladies, would you care for any drinks?” 

Flopping onto the booth, Paige squealed, “Three whiskey cokes and one round of tequila shots please!”

Javier gave a good natured chuckle at Paige’s sultry wink before leaving to fetch your order. Rose joined your sister, and you happily slid in right behind. Perhaps a night out was exactly what the doctor ordered. It _had_ been a while since you’ve had an opportunity to cut loose. Attending stuffy galas definitely didn’t count as fun - even if there was an open bar. 

Time seemed to fly by at supersonic speed as the three of you really delved into nighttime revelries. You started by getting cozy in your booth catching up about anything and everything. Rose and Paige raised a toast in celebration of your newfound professional success. Then the three of you squealed over the raunchy details of Rose’s latest romantic encounters. At one point you almost rolled over laughing as Paige drank down an entire gin and tonic when her current roommate situation was brought up. 

Eyes sparkling, you felt a torrent of love as you took in the sight of your two friends trading laughs and memories with each other. Family, perhaps, was with who you deemed worthy. Not who you were born with. People like the Ticos, Poe, and Finn who brought joy and support in your life. 

Even...even Kylo before the whole mess with Bazine happened. You clutched onto a cocktail napkin as thoughts of the man suddenly flooded your mind. He had been supportive, hadn’t he? He had loved you, correct? Could one mistake really erase months upon months of love the two of you had built together? 

“Hey. Earth to bestie! Where’d you go?” Rose asked while waving a hand in front of your face. Despite the playful lilt of her voice, you could see concern pressing into her gentle features. Downing the last of your drink you put on a brave face and chirped, “Sorry! Was just thinking about work! Let’s dance!” 

Paige cheered and threw back her own drink before slamming it down on the table. Grabbing your hand along with Rose’s, she tugged the two of you onto the dance floor. Losing yourselves to the beat, the three of you pressed against each other with arms raised in the air. Heat and sound mingled together, casting a veil over your senses. 

Forty-five minutes later, you pushed a wet sweat soaked strand of hair away from your eyes. Leaning over to Rose, you yelled over the music, “Hey! I’m sweating like crazy here. I’m gonna take a breather and grab some water from Javier, ‘kay?” 

Rose gave you a thumbs up, and you turned to make your way over to the bar. Sliding onto the last empty seat, you looked around the space for any sign of the bartender. Your eyes settled upon broad shoulders hunched over the bar, slightly turned so their back was facing you. Trailing up their back, you took in the sight of disheveled black wavy hair and a neck smattered with dark moles against alabaster skin.

The name tumbled from you lips before you could stop yourself. 

“Kylo?” 

The man immediately spun around in his seat, eyes blown wide in a mixture of fear and surprise. Your eyes immediately shot down to his lap where he was clutching onto a familiar Burberry scarf. On first sight, you would have assumed it to be his. But your eyes trailed to where his thumbs were rubbing over your initials stitched into the soft wool.

The wool plaid had begun to blur together, as if he had been meticulously running his hand over and over the scarf. Clutching onto the scrap of fabric, Kylo looked at you for a moment before slurring, “My little mouse turned out to be a little tiger. Funny, huh? I wanted...so desperately...to protect you. But you never needed any saving, did you?” 

Kylo had never been this intoxicated in front of you before. The man swayed somewhat in his seat before lurching forward to grip your arm. Leaning forward he continued to mumble, “I love you. Did you know that? Or have you forgotten? Was my mistake so unforgivable that you could forget me so easily? You left your things in my apartment. Even if I fucked up...you just ran. Ran from me without a single look back.”

Leaning a heavy head against your shoulder he sighed. “I see you, you know. Out there. At the events. You look so vibrant and happy. I can’t take that away from you. You...you earned your happiness this time around. And Poe. He made me promise. He promised that if I promised, you’d be happy.”

You tilted your head downwards to look at Kylo in curiosity, and the man only huffed in response. “Poe’s right. I love you enough to make that sacrifice. Even if you hate me forever, I still love you.” 

“What on earth are you talking about, Kylo?” You pushed him off of your shoulder and did your best to steady the drunken man. His eyes were misty and glazed over as he stared at you slacked jawed. Despite the chasm growing between yourself and Kylo, your love for him still overcame all else. Concern pulled at your features as you racked your brain for ideas on how to handle the situation. 

Suddenly, Kylo lazily tugged at your wrist. The motion sent you reeling forward as you fell into his chest. Wrapping both arms tightly around your middle, he pressed against you while burying his face into your hair. Standing frozen in place, you could barely make out his whimpers as he continued to murmur to himself. 

Just as quickly as he had hugged you, he was suddenly pulled back by another person. Armitage Hux stood between your bodies with a sneer that seemed permanently fixed upon his face.

“Come back for a little peek at your damaged goods?” Hux all but snarled in your direction. The venom was so sharp in his words, that you physically recoiled. Kylo’s body slumped forward in response, and Hux immediately stepped up to wrap an arm around Kylo’s listless body. Kylo’s head lulled to the side as he mumbled, “Sorry about the ginger. I needed a ride...”

Ignoring your ex-boyfriend, you hissed towards the other man, “ _He_ broke up with me, _Hux_.” 

Kylo hiccuped from the back, “Ooops...my bad...”

Ignoring his colleague, Hux replied, “Yes. So it would seem. To think that you, of all people, would be worth throwing away an empire for. A _legacy_ ” 

“I never asked Kylo to do anything! I didn’t want any of this! I just...I just...” 

What did you want, anyways? When did everything become so confusing? It seemed as if everyone in your life was in on some grand scheme, and despite being in the middle of it, they insisted on keeping you in the dark. What was troubling Kylo so much that he’s slowly become a man torn apart? What was all encompassing that even Poe, and seemingly Leia, were involved? Why did it seem that even Hux was in on it? 

Armitage tugged Kylo up on his feet, leaning the heavier man against his hip. Eyes narrowing in your direction he seethed, “That’s just it. You think that you’re above all of this. That your ignorance automatically begets innocence. Did you not think that your actions would have consequences? That _loving_ Kylo Ren would have no repercussions? The man controls over a billion dollars worth of wealth. He employs thousands of New Yorkers. He makes decisions that have an international impact, and you thought that you could just waltz in and _love_ him as if he were some common banker on Wall Street?” 

“No...I never...”

Hux never gave you a chance to finish your thought. Dragging Kylo behind him, the pair disappeared into the crowd, leaving you open-mouthed, concerned, and bewildered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God bless the Tico sisters. 
> 
> Guys, I've written out a couple more chapters and believe it or not, we're actually almost done! It's a super bittersweet feeling to have. On one hand, I'm happy to see how a small idea grew into what this fic became for me. On the other hand, it feels weird to have something I've spent so much time on just end. Either way, I'm so happy to everyone who joined me on this journey.
> 
> Also, why do I kinda have a soft spot for sloppy drunk Kylo? Poor baby :( I just want to wrap him up in blankets and give him some electrolytes. 
> 
> Next up, we FINALLY receive some answers on WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON. And then, a tough decision needs to be made. See you soon!


	30. Facts Aren't Facts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning, I most certainly did not major in business or anything of the like. So, most of this chapter is 50% me looking things up on the internet and 50% me making shit up. Enjoy!

Pulling leather gloves onto your hands, you stepped out of Resistance Tech headquarters and onto the busy street. As you began to make your way to the subway station, a second figure smoothly slid next to you. Keeping perfect time with each of your brisk steps, Cassian Andor cast you a cheeky grin. 

“Long day at work?” 

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes at the man. You weren’t sure whether or not his blasé blasé attitude should put you on edge or leave you relaxed. Either way, he sure didn’t act the part of intelligence officer. The man seemed better suited for hosting a travel show on the Travel Channel. 

Buttoning up your long jacket you retorted, “Are you leading me to believe that you’re here to chat about my day at work?” 

“Sure, why not?” He quipped back with a good-natured smile. Choosing to ignore him, you continued to walk in silence until coming up to York Street Station. Pausing in step, you turned to address Cassian. “Are you going to follow me home?” 

He snorted in response. “I’d prefer not. How about coffee instead?” 

“Do I have a choice?”

“Depends. Would you prefer a subpoena?” 

Your lips tightened into a thin line as you shook your head. Smirking at a battle won, Cassian pressed a hand lightly against your lower back. Steering you away from the station, the two of you made your way towards a small coffee shop just a block away. Looking up at a sign that read “Bluestone Lane”, you quirked an eyebrow. Who knew that rough and tumble FBI agents liked hipster coffee joints? 

The man surprised you yet again as he paid for your chai tea latte as well as his own Americano. Pulling out a chair in front of a small table for two, he politely helped you get seated before settling in across the table. 

Wasting no time, he slid two newspaper clippings across the table. The first was an old article - the one where you were photographed in Poe’s arm’s. The second was the story regarding a brewing love triangle between Kylo, Poe, and a “mysterious third party”. 

“What can you tell me about this?” 

“Nothing. It’s just the press making things up. Yeah, that’s me at the gala, but Poe was just messing around for fun. We’re friends, and he does silly things like that. There’s no photograph accompanying the second article, so I don’t know who they’re talking about.” 

Cassian folded the papers up and slid them back into the pocket of his notebook. Leaning back against his seat, he gave you an inquisitive look. Choosing not to dig yourself an accidental grave, you opted to remain silent. Searching his features, you guiltily thought that the man was handsome in a Poe-ish way. 

Creating a steeple with his fingers, Cassian began to speak. “Something curious happened during my investigation. I was reviewing security footage of Mr. Ren’s apartment building. There seemed to have been a glitch - a power outage according to management. All footage prior to you leaving your position seemed to have disappeared.” 

“Is that so?” That sounded neutral, right? You really weren’t sure where Cassian was going with this.

“Yes. We wanted to see who was visiting the home. Now, imagine my surprise when I found out that Resistance Tech covered security for the entire building. Typically they store all security footage offsite, but there seemed to be yet _another_ mysterious power outage causing several of their backup servers to be wiped clean.” 

“Mr. Andor, while I appreciate you sharing this information, I don’t understand what it has to do with me?” 

The agent chuckled and took a slow sip from his coffee cup. Your eyes widened in surprise as he explained that he had obtained a search warrant for the premises. Upon their initial sweep, his team had found dozens upon dozens of indicators that Kylo Ren was living with a woman. At the very least, a woman had spent _a lot_ of time in the space. It sounded like your things had been untouched - the space perfectly preserved from the last time you stepped foot in the home. 

Cassian clicked his tongue and continued, “Yet, upon reviewing the intact security tapes, no woman had recently stepped foot into the home. Leaving me to assume that his mysterious lover had been present while you worked at First Order.” 

You couldn’t help your response. It just came out. “Maybe he just likes buying lady things.” 

_Lady things?_ Great. Now the handsome FBI agent is either going to think that you’re high or a raging idiot. Thankfully, Cassian only laughed in response. Playing with the lid of his now empty cup he replied, “In my opinion, it seems like the man is _waiting_. Like the entire home was preserved in a vacuum of time. As if he hoped that someone would return to fill the space as they left it.” 

Your heart squeezed at his response. Would it be too far-fetched to imagine that Kylo had regretted the break up? The man was meticulous in everything. Surely he didn’t keep your things around out of laziness?

Voice barely above a murmur, you replied, “I don’t know what that has to do with me. First Order is part of my past.” 

“Are you aware of antitrust laws and regulations against insider trading?” 

You looked up in surprise. That was a random change in conversation. You shook your head “no”. Cassian propped an ankle over his thigh. How could someone look so damn _relaxed_ all the time? He looked as if he was about to share a new kombucha recipe. Instead, he began to explain some business jargon.

“Kylo Ren is majority shareholder in First Order. Benjamin Solo is majority shareholder in Resistance Tech. We received a tip that Kylo Ren moved to dissolve his shares at Resistance to leave them in a trust for a future spouse.”

“I...still...don’t...” 

“You see, the American government frowns upon monopolies. If Mr. Ren were to dump his shares from one of the businesses and nobody buys, then it would greatly devalue said business. Making it easy to buy out the company.”

“Like a hostile takeover...”

“Precisely. Now, it’s not illegal for the two companies to merge, per se, but because of their valuation it would require a lot of oversight to ensure that the market is still competitive. The problem lies in the fact that a large amount of shares are currently slated for an unnamed woman. It’s hard to regulate a ghost, if you catch my drift.”

“Mr. Andor, I understand the concept. But I don’t understand what that has to do with me?”

He actually looked uncomfortable for once. You waited patiently as he flipped around in his notebook before settling on a photograph. Even though the polaroid was light from overexposure, you still gasped at the picture. A _huge_ diamond was set on a band made from unidentified stones woven together in a gorgeous sparkling band.

“We were informed that you could be the unidentified woman. This ring was found on Mr. Ren’s person. Coupled with the female items in his apartment, it seemed as if their suspicions were valid. You have to understand, the fact that you now work for Resistance Tech makes this all very suspicious.”

You gaped, wide-eyed, at the photograph. Even though it was grainy, you could have sworn that the thing sparkled. Was...was Kylo going to _propose_? Did that mean that the break up and his subsequent radio silence really was just a ploy to protect you from damaging lies his enemies could spread?

Frankly, even you had to admit how bad everything _could_ sound depending how Bazine spun it. How much fun the press would have over dissecting your relationship with Kylo. The story basically wrote itself. A powerful CEO with a bone to pick with his family business coerces his personal assistant to enter an illicit relationship. Oh, look! She happens to be best friends with and executive of Resistance Tech. Why not send her over to topple the business from within? 

Sure, _you_ knew that you earned the job and title fair and square, but the world didn’t. Bazine would love sprinkle some nepotism and compulsion into the mix. Why not run with the love triangle theory while she was at it? Maybe Poe gave you the job because his love for you blinded the man to your nefarious allegiance to Kylo.

You’d worked for the Order long enough to know that in the world of business, sometimes an accusation was enough to tank a career. Never mind whether or not there was any merit to the allegations. All Bazine needed to do was plant some well seeded lies, and the feds would be all over Kylo.

They’d comb through his records, stall any current business deals, and tie the entire place up in so much litigation and red tape that it would be a miracle to escape without pissing off his investors and shareholders. He’d have to step down as CEO. His reputation would be tarnished forever. The man would never work in New York again. 

_The bitch._

She knew exactly what she was doing. If Kylo had continued to pursue a relationship with you, then that would be enough proof to start a full blown investigation. So she forced his hand. If she couldn’t have him, then nobody could. 

Cassian slowly tucked the photograph back into his little book. “It...it looks like you’re genuinely shocked,” he stated. 

“Yeah...that ring...” 

“We have reason to believe it’s an antique. A family heirloom.” 

_Leia._ Was _everyone_ in on the scheme? Jesus, you had half a mind to go home and accuse Poe’s orange corgi, Beebee, whether or not he knew what was up. 

Cassian shifted to stand on his feet, chair scraping loudly behind as he pushed away from the table. You mimicked his actions, expression still bewildered from all the information you had just learned. Cassian helped toss your trash away before addressing you again.

“Thanks for your time. I’ll take everything you’ve shared into consideration before my team deliberates on whether or not to audit First Order.”

You gave him a quiet nod and followed Cassian out the door. Standing on the sidewalk, he paused for a moment before adding, “If you perjure yourself, it’s a class D felony in the State of New York...

...the sentence is seven years of jail time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so this chapter may have been a little confusing. Just in case it was, here's a quick TLDR: 
> 
> 1\. Kylo Ren/Ben Solo owns majority shares to two similar, yet competing, businesses. It would be possible to dump shares from business A, greatly devalue said business, and then force a hostile takeover with business B at a price which is unfair. 
> 
> 2\. Instead, Kylo leaves all of the shares from Resistance to his "future wife" as an act of love. 
> 
> 3\. Bazine waltzes in and tattles to the FBI, making up a story about how Kylo _could_ be doing something nefarious using said mysterious lover. 
> 
> 4\. Cassian Andor is sent to investigate Bazine's claims. If he had found out about your relationship with Kylo then it would be proof that Bazine's accusations had merit to them. That would lead to a deeper investigation which could ruin Kylo's career. 
> 
> If it's still confusing, let me know! I struggled a bit to write this chapter because there was some technical things and I wasn't sure how to weave it in a natural way. BUT THERE IT IS! We finally have our answers. 
> 
> Some points might be clarified more next chapter, because Kylo will share his point of view ;) Thanks so much for reading guys! <3


	31. Kylo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kylo's perspective.

Kylo flew down Fifth Avenue, ignoring irritated shouts from pedestrians he barreled through on the sidewalk. His mind was focused on a singular task - finding Poe. Shoving a poor family away from a yellow taxi cab, he jumped in and hollered the address for Resistance Tech. Throwing a few hundred dollar bills at the driver, he commanded the shocked man to get there _now_.

He’d been at the headquarters dozens of times now, yet Poe still enjoyed making the same tired old joke about “letting in the enemy”. Kylo resisted the urge to punch Poe and remind the pilot that if Kylo were Satan, then Poe had sold his soul. 

After all, it was because of the pilot that there would no longer be a Resistance. 

Or a First Order, but that’s just a technicality. Because in a few short weeks the two businesses were about to embark on one of the largest mergers the tech and aviation industries had ever seen in all of history. 

Outwardly, Kylo told everyone that it just made fiscal sense. The Order had the technology, while Resistance had the product. Combine the two, and you’d have a very profitable business that would set everyone up for intergenerational wealth. It was impossible to lie to his mother though. Because judging from the glimmer in her eye, the woman knew the honest reason why he would change the direction of his former mentor’s legacy. 

For _her_.

Because she deserved to have a future outside of Kylo. She deserved to work somewhere she could flourish. Not the soul sucking dead end job that was being a personal secretary to himself. Kylo could no longer continue mollifying the internal battle between Kylo Ren and Benjamin Solo. Being with her taught him who he _wanted_ to be. Who he truly was. 

When Bazine’s name was brought up, Poe’s typically jovial demeanor immediately hardened. Poe knew what had to be done, and hated to be the one suggesting it. There was no need to drag Poe’s best friend and Kylo’s lover into whatever shit storm that was about to make landfall upon their lives. Poe and Kylo knew that there wasn’t a choice. Bazine made sure of that. 

“You need to break up,” Poe stated with as much empathy and compassion as he could muster. Kylo bit the bottom of his lip and looked at the floor. Toying with the edges of his cuffs as a distraction he replied, “I know. But just...not yet. I will. Just...I need a little bit more time with her.” 

He tried to make the most of it. He tried to tell her how much he loved her over and over again. As if saying the words could undo whatever suffering he was about to inflict upon the only person he had ever loved. Kylo begged her to understand and to trust him. Maybe if he plied on the affection and endearment, it would be enough to last her through a breakup. 

Of course Bazine had to reappear and stir the pot just a little bit more. She knew all too well how to get underneath another woman’s skin, resulting in a sound crack as his girlfriend’s palm met the skin of Bazine’s cheek. Kylo wanted to scream. He wanted to overturn a table. 

Why did it always seem like he was two steps behind? Always just a second too late. And now that you had publicly “attacked” Bazine, his hand was forced yet again. He knew that the world would be watching his every move now. Reporters would be hiding in every shadow to catch him in some act. He needed to don the façade of a stoic boss reprimanding his inferior. Even if it broke his heart to speak to you in that manner. 

“I...I have to make it clean. I can’t risk her being implicated at all. I’ll have Phasma fire her for hitting Bazine at the party and then block her number,” Kylo gritted out. Even just _saying_ the words was enough to make his fists clench until his nails cut half moons in the the skin of his palms. 

“Shit...that’s cold,” Poe exclaimed. 

Kylo tore at his hair and cried out, “I don’t have a fucking choice! _One_ call or text on my phone record after she’s fired and they’ll immediately come for her. That’s enough proof right there! Why would an employee who was unceremoniously fired call her superior after the fact?”

He slumped down on the armchair and sank his head into his hands. Shoulders shaking, Kylo gritted out, “Nobody can tell her. She...she needs the chance to move on. It wouldn’t be fair to have her wait for me, when I might not even have anything to give her after this is all said and done.” 

Poe surprised Kylo by reaching over to place a comforting hand on Kylo’s arm. “Hey, man. She’s not like that. Even if you ended up flipping burgers at Shake Shack, she’d still stand by you till the end.” 

“That’s the problem, Poe. She deserves someone so much more. She needs to discover her worth.”

He loved her.

He loved her enough to give up his name.

He loved her enough to forsake their relationship to save her life.

Kylo Ren loved her enough for the both of them.

Pacing the darkened hallways of his penthouse at night, Kylo struggled to keep it all together. It was only the threat of having the FBI turn their sights on her that kept Kylo sane. It took every ounce of self-control to not rush over to her apartment and fall to his knees explaining why he had to be so cruel. 

He didn’t think she could forgive him. She wasn’t the type to take “I did it for your own good” as an excuse. And now that she was coming into her own, he knew she’d stand up for herself. Even at the expense of earning her forgiveness, this was all worth watching her flourish - even from afar. 

Kylo always knew that she was more than a _little mouse_. The term of endearment beginning to feel wrong on his tongue. She was so much more. Stronger than she knew herself to be. And he knew that he needed her strength in his life. Because as much as he enjoyed portraying power and ruthless cunning, he was _weak_. 

Too weak to move her things out of the apartment. 

Too weak to give her up. 

Too weak to not fall into a million pieces.

It had somehow snuck onto him. The habit of running his hands over and over across her scarf. The sweet initials mixed with his own surname mocking him from the embroidered camel colored wool. To think, he was _that_ close to having a _wife_. It was the whole reason why he set up the trust to begin with anyways. 

Because he knew her heart. Her sweet, authentic, and courageous heart. She’d never just take the money outright. Her morality would never allow it. Kylo had hoped that if she believed he had set it up ages ago, then perhaps it would ease the shock of inheriting several million dollars. He knew it was risky, but he needed to know that she could be taken care of in case of any emergency. 

But Bazine had found out somehow. And the witch would use his virtuous intentions and spin it into an ugly story. She’d spread lies regarding his bitterness towards his family. She’d tell the world that his pure, loving, _perfect_ girlfriend was a gold digger. 

Slowly, he felt madness descend upon his life. Fear gripping Leia’s heart every time she saw her son. His hair just a little bit more matted. His eyes just a little bit more dull. His skin just a little bit more sallow. The steadfast woman knew her family’s history, and she swore that she would do anything to prevent her son from losing his mind due to losing his love. 

It started slowly, like any bad habit. Kylo would wander thought his apartment. One hand clutching onto a small tumbler of brandy, he’d roam into the closet. Fingering the soft and delicate fabrics of her clothing, he’d press his nose into the silks and inhale like he’d never breathed before. 

Just a little bit more brandy tonight. It’ll take the edge off, he told himself. Flipping through the pages of “Introduction to Home Cooking”, he tried to ignore the devastating thought that he’d never share another meal with her. His house would no longer be a home without her making a mess in the kitchen. Waking him up with soft kisses. Running to meet him at the door, jumping up to wrap her legs around his waist while she squealed, “ _I love you._ ”

Tonight was a difficult night. He’d seen her at the auction - dressed to kill in a sleek pantsuit. A subtle middle finger to the man who loved soft dresses of chiffon and organza. _That’s my girl_ , his heart cried when you made eye contact. He wanted to weep for her. He wanted to wail for her. He needed to feel her touch again. 

But Poe reminded him that she wasn’t his to have. And just like that, she was swept away. 

Tonight was a difficult night. So why not dampen it with just _one_ more glass of whiskey. Just _one_ more glass of wine. 

Then the subtle slip turned into a spiral of darkness as he finally found himself rock bottom. Wasted alone at a bar, desperate enough to call Hux to pick him up. He had heard the venom his business associate spewed towards her direction, but Kylo was too drunk to say much. 

_Useless_. Kylo wanted to stand up for her. He wanted to tell her the truth. Hux was in on the deal. The stoic man was promised a lucrative job heading their Hong Kong offices if he would comply. And Hux was more than happy to play along for freedom from Kylo, and a fat paycheck. 

But he was drunk. So he allowed Hux to drag him away without another word. Pathetically clutching onto her scarf, Kylo hoped she hadn’t noticed the little detail. Leia gave him a stern talking to. If he ever wanted a chance of having her in his life again, he needed to get his affairs in order. He needed to be worthy. He would. He _would_. 

Could he? 

Sitting in his office, Kylo thumbed the diamond ring over and over again. It felt like a lifetime ago when Leia had handed him the heirloom. He had left his girlfriend to nap after an overwhelming Thanksgiving meal. Slipping away to his mother’s office, Kylo made his intentions very clear and Leia was more than happy to share in her son’s joy.

The shining physical symbol of eternal love and devotion was almost mocking him at this point. It would be insane. It would be _stupid_. For all he knew, she thought that the man abandoned their relationship to save his business. 

Could he convince her that his love had never faltered? Could she forgive him for his deceit? 

He tucked the ring back into it’s velvet box and snapped the lid shut. He’d have to try. Kylo could never live with himself if he didn’t try. And even she no longer wanted him in her life, he’d love her from afar. He’d do anything to ensure her happiness, even if he was no longer the source of it. 

He loved her enough for the both of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge "thank you" to the sweet mauvemountains for the idea, and for your delightful comments <3 
> 
> This was a heartbreaking chapter to write, but guess what guys? Everything is on the up and up from here on out! Time to say "goodbye" to angst, and soothe the soul with some much needed fluff. Next chapter, we _finally_ close this chapter of our dear reader's life, and move forward to better, brighter, and happier times. 
> 
> Thank you all SO much for bearing with me through the ups and downs of this fic. And as always, your thoughtful comments and kudos continue to motivate me to keep writing. Love ya'll! <3


	32. The Storm Breaks

It was Thursday night, which recently only meant one thing - family pot luck. These little moments in time were proof that joy was in the details. Because even if life seemed to be falling apart at the seams, every moment of love between yourself and your friends seemed to be a stitch in repairing the fabric of life. 

Tonight, it was hosted at the boys’ apartment. Rose and yourself happily scrambled upstairs - Rose holding a pot of mashed potatoes in her hands while you struggled with a plate of roasted salmon. 

As per usual, the door was left unlocked and you made yourself right at home. Rose leaned against you and whispered, “Oh my God, I think Poe made Jello-O with fruit cocktail again. Are you sure he’s not a thousand years old?”

You giggled and playfully hushed her, but not before adding, “Holy shit, I think Finn is just unwrapping Lunchables and sticking them on a plate.”

Sure, you might be playing fast and loose with your digestive system during family pot luck, but the happiness of spending time with you best friends was worth it. Rose suddenly elbowed you in the rib, and you looked up to see Finn pulling some corn dogs out of the oven. Your stomach lurched for a split second as you winced at the sight of the man squirting sriracha on the food. 

Pizza Lunchables. Mashed potatoes. Jello-o with fruit cocktail. Roasted Salmon. _Corndogs_. 

Yum. You really, really, _really_ loved your friends. Eating this ridiculous spread was physical proof of the fact. 

Settling in around the square dining table, dinner quickly turned into a flurry of catching up on the week, laughing with your mouths full, and actively calculating the bare minimum in Lunchables you had to eat without offending Finn. 

Still, you couldn’t shake the unsettling guilt and unease worming its way inside of your gut. It was becoming increasingly difficult to diminish the chasm tearing you in twine. Because how could you, in good consciousness, continue to joke around with friends and live your life when you knew the truth. 

Kylo Ren still loved you. He had put his career and reputation at stake to save yours. By allowing you to jump ship, you could find independence and pursue your passion over at Resistance. Even if it cost him his own personal happiness, he was willing to pay the price for your security and well-being.

You were mad, though. Furious, even. How could he do all of this without telling you? How could he make the decision of letting you free without consulting yourself first? But just as you were angry, you were also in love. Because if you had to be honest with yourself, you missed the man. 

You missed the low timbre of his voice when you’d rouse him in the mornings. You missed how the tips of his ears burned red in embarrassment whenever you nipped the tip with your teeth. You missed how he could always anticipate your every need - both physical, mental, and emotional. 

God, did you miss the physical. How he’d growl in your ear whenever you’d tease him. The way he looked leaning against the doorframe in nothing but black briefs and a cup of coffee. How he felt...

“Hey! We love you, but you gotta help clear off the table your royal highness,” Finn teased as he reached around you to grab some dirty dishes. You stuck your tongue out at the man and laughed as he expertly dodged a playful kick towards his behind. Walking towards the sink with some wine glasses, you noticed that Poe already had the sink filled with soapy water. 

The sleeves of his sweater were rolled up to the elbow as the man plunged his hands into the water. Stepping up to his side, you naturally fell into a rhythm of washing and drying. After a few moments of quietly working, Poe nudged you with his hip and whispered conspiratorially, “Have you noticed that Finn and Rose keep disappearing together a lot lately? I highly doubt that she’s really showing him her new collection of wrenches.” 

“I’m sure she’s showing him _something_ ,” you joked back. The two of you relaxed into easy laughter for a split second before you stepped back to dry your hands on a dishtowel. 

“Hey, Poe. Speaking of relationships...can I ask you something? About Kylo?” 

Sensing a change in the atmosphere, Poe quickly unplugged the drain and wiped his own hands down. Reaching into the cupboard above his head, he grabbed two tumblers before snatching up a bottle of whisky sitting on the counter. 

“Sure. But I have a feeling we’ll be needing some harder liquor for this conversation. Let’s go to my room?” 

You followed him into the bedroom, plopping down on his bed while he settled in on the nearby armchair. Pouring yourselves a generous serving of alcohol, he set your glass down by the nightstand before taking a sip from his own. 

Rolling onto your stomach, you ignored the beverage for a moment and whispered, “I still love him.” 

Poe bit his lip while you refused to look at the man. Despite his initial distaste towards Kylo Ren, Poe still felt conflicted in the situation. Caught in the middle, he had to passively watch as his best friend and new business partner slowly tore themselves apart. 

He sighed and placed a gentle hand on your thigh. “I know for a fact that he loves you, too.” 

“He lied to me.” 

“Technically we all did.”

“You wouldn’t have if Kylo didn’t ask you to keep it from me.”

Poe rolled his eyes and tossed a cushion at you. Yelping as you just barely dodged the flying pillow, you smiled as tension dissipated from your shoulders. Leave it to Poe to find a way to help ease the seriousness during a difficult discussion. 

He pointed a finger at you and scolded, “Don’t be stubborn about this. I know you, sweet pea. You’re just looking for an excuse to make yourself suffer...”

Poe’s sentence was cut short as his phone suddenly rang with a shrill sound. Fumbling with his cup, he pried the device out of his pocket and picked up. The man immediately shot up from his seat, only punctuating whatever was on the other line with a series of “mhms” and “sure, yups”. 

He paced the narrow space of his bedroom, nodding vigorously as if the caller could see him. Poe stopped to face the window, and you looked at his reflection in curiosity. After what felt like ages, he finally ended the call with a final, “Thank you, Agent Andor.”

Hands shaking, Poe slowly lowered the device. You silently watched the rise and fall of his shoulders as he took in huge lungfuls of air. Finally turning towards you, he whispered, “It’s done. It’s finally over now.”

Sitting up you exclaimed, “What’s the outcome?” 

“We’re okay. We’re actually okay,” he nervously laughed. Running a shaking hand through his curls he chucked, “Just like that. Weeks of investigation and it’s over in an instant. The merger is green lit as long the shares from Kylo’s trust aren’t sold within five years.” 

Just then the door burst open and a rather frazzled Rose and Finn burst into the room. You smirked at the sight of her tussled hair. Rose screamed, “Have you seen the news?!” 

The smaller woman bounced onto Poe’s bed, ignoring his protests regarding the fact that she was still wearing shoes. Swatting at Poe she ignored the man as threw her phone towards your direction. Scrolling down, your mouth continued to gape wider and wider until Rose teasingly pushed your jaw back up. 

There it was. Shining brightly on the screen. A photograph of Bazine Netal. She was clad in dirty sweats and a black hoodie, her eyes stained with black mascara running down her ruddy cheeks. Federal agents flanked the embarrassed woman on either side, holding onto her handcuffed arms. 

Would it be mean to laugh? Because the title of the article was making you giddy. 

_Justice Served to Bazine Netal_

_Bazine Netal was apprehended in SoHo earlier this evening. The once popular socialite has been exposed for spreading lies regarding Kylo Ren at First Order, and Poe Dameron of Resistance Tech. It seems as if her loose lips and penchant for gossip has finally gotten the woman into some hot water, as her latest series of fabrications has sent the FBI on a wild goose chase._

_Cassian Andor, lead FBI agent on the case, gave us a statement - “Miss Netal had falsely accused three individuals of serious crimes. Her accusations resulted in hundreds of lost hours and wasted manpower that could have been better spent to serve the community. We do not take this kind of behavior lightly, and will pursue the necessary legal action against Miss Netal.”_

_Let’s hope that Bazine learns her lesson! ___

__“Oh my God. Oh my God. OH MY GOD!” You screamed at the top of your lungs. You gripped onto Rose’s hands while the two of you bounced up and down in the bed like teenagers who just found out they were nominated for homecoming court. Finn and Poe made eye contact and simultaneously shook their heads at your antics._ _

__Tossing yourself backwards, you flopped onto your back and sighed. For the longest time, you had felt as if you were living life while holding your breath. Now, you could finally breathe. Finn walked over to high-five Poe before making his way over to crush your small frame in a bear hug._ _

__It was over. The nightmare had finally ended._ _

__Poe leapt up from his chair and cheered, “Let’s get some champagne! This calls for celebration!” Rose eagerly nodded her head up and down, black bangs bouncing playfully against her forehead. The four of your made your way to the kitchen, with Rose singing “ding dong the witch is dead” the entire way there._ _

__You leaned against the counter and smiled at the sight of your little ragtag group of friends. Rose continued to gloat about Bazine’s fall from grace, while Finn helped Poe with uncorking a new bottle of champagne. You stifled a laugh - of course the boys wouldn’t have glass flutes. The darker man was currently filling a three mugs and one coffee tumbler with the bubbly beverage._ _

__Everyone was falling into a rhythm of merriment and celebration when a hurried knock interrupted the festivities. Fearful that you had celebrated too soon, everyone quieted down and stared at the door as if the FBI would suddenly burst forth._ _

__Poe was the first to move, setting down his mug and wiping his hands against his sweater. He opened the door a crack, and immediately slipped through the smallest opening possible to exit the room without giving away who was on the other side._ _

__Rose, Finn, and yourself waited with bated breath as the sound of low murmuring seeped through the walls. It didn’t sound as if Poe was arguing with the mysterious individual, but he sounded stressed. Finally, he poked his head back into the room and called your name._ _

__“Hey, can you come out here for a second?”_ _

__You set down your own glass, and Rose gave you a reassuring squeeze of the hand. Walking out the door, you felt all of the air escape your lungs, rendering you speechless._ _

__There, standing in the hallway was Kylo Ren. His hair was wild. You noticed that he had missed a few buttons on his dress shirt, lending you to guess that he had dressed in a hurry. His left hand clutched onto a dozen peonies, but the poor flowers looked as if they had been battered and bruised._ _

__“Did...did you _run_ here, Kylo?” _ _

__His cheeks immediately pinked in embarrassment, and you gasped. He nervously ran a hand through his hair and whispered, “I...I got the news and I _had_ to get here as soon as possible. I...I...”_ _

__“I’m gonna go check on Rose and Finn,” Poe awkwardly piped up as he slowly backed away and disappeared behind the front door. Murmuring could be heard through the wood, and you rolled your eyes. Even after everything that happened and the stress of a _federal_ investigation, you friends were still little shits. _ _

__They were totally gossiping about Kylo right now, and you’d be willing to bet your right hand that they were starting a betting pool on the outcome of your conversation with the poor guy._ _

__Reaching out, you gently tugged the sleeve of Kylo’s shirt and wordlessly nodded towards the stairs. Pulling him downwards, the two of you made your way to the downstairs apartment for some privacy._ _

__Although he standing two feet away from you in the foyer, it felt like he was miles away. The man in front of you was like a stranger, and you still haven’t had enough time to process all of the information thrown at your the past few days._ _

__Kylo decided to speak first. “Oh, these are for you. Sorry they got a little messed up during...my...travels...” His face flushed again._ _

__Looking down at the flowers, you decided to accept the gift. It seemed a bit cruel to not. Watching you take his gift in hand, a huge grin broke out across his face causing your heart to squeeze. How long had it been since you last saw the man smile?_ _

__He tentatively stepped forward and whispered, “I missed you.”_ _

__Brown eyes met your stare as you contemplated the man in front of you. All you could think about was how Bazine’s bitterness separated him from you. For weeks and weeks you believed that he didn’t want you. That he didn’t love you. You had dreams of all the different scenarios you could tell him to fuck off. Make him agonize over the way that you had suffered these past few weeks._ _

__Now that the source of your heartache was present in the flesh, though... well, you couldn’t bring yourself to do any of that. Because simply put, you loved Kylo. How could you bring yourself to be cruel to someone you cared so deeply for? You looked up into his warm eyes. His sense of pleading was almost palpable as you sucked in a deep breath. Hands shaking, you reached out and gently placed a palm against his chest._ _

__“I missed you too, Kylo.”_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my dears! <3 
> 
> Originally, I was supposed to wrap up this fic around here. But after thinking about the characters and the story, it seemed a bit rushed to just tie everything in a long epilogue. I kind of felt like it was a total disservice to them, especially after basically a million chapters of angst. Additionally, as the author, I thought it would be a fun exercise to explore what it takes to rebuild a relationship and discover how these two can move on after something as devastating as what they went through. 
> 
> What I'm trying to say is that I hope you don't mind bearing with me for a few more chapters <3 
> 
> As always, thank you so much for continuing to read and support!! I seriously get so goddamn giddy when I read your comments, and I just love interacting with you guys! <3


	33. Opposite of Goodbye

This particular version of Kylo seemed so foreign. Where he once boldly inserted himself into your life, Kylo now danced precariously on the edges unsure of what to do. His fingers continued to twitch, as if he were consciously forcing himself not to reach out and place his hands upon your flesh. 

Kylo knew that he had to earn the privilege. 

Caught up in the emotional whirlwind of the night, you suddenly felt exhausted. Dropping your palm from his chest you whispered, “I missed you, but that still doesn’t change what happened. How could you just carelessly toss me aside like that?” 

Kylo’s brows pinched together in agony. His voice just barely a low murmur as he replied, “I could _never_ toss you aside. I wish I could go back in time and handle things differently, but you have to understand that I never stopped loving you. I should never have been so arrogant as to think that I should have handled this without consulting you. For that, I’m sorry.”

“You could have said _something_. Anything, really. You made me believe that I was nothing! For the past month or so I’ve lived under the impression that our entire relationship had been a lie.” 

Unable to contain himself any longer, Kylo lifted his hands to rest both palms against your cheeks. Gently cupping your face he lifted your chin so your eyes could meet his intense gaze. He was practically begging at this point. 

“I’m not asking you to forget about everything. I’m not even asking you to forgive me. I just...I can’t live with myself knowing that I didn’t at least ask for a chance to redeem myself.” 

“So what now, then? I can’t just go back to being that ‘naive little mouse’ of yours.” 

“Then don’t. I love the fierce woman you’ve blossomed into. I just want a chance to be in your life. In whatever capacity that may be. And if...if my company continues to cause you pain...then...then I’ll go. Just say the word, and I’ll disappear. But...just...a chance. _Please_.”

Biting the bottom of your lip, you mulled over your options while Kylo patiently waited for an answer. It didn’t seem fair to continue blaming him for keeping a secret when you’ve basically forgiven Poe and Leia already. And if you had to be honest with yourself, you still loved the man - despite whatever shortcomings he may have. 

“I don’t think that I could just go back to being friends. But I’m not ready to pick up where we last left off.”

Feeling a spark of hope ignite within his chest, Kylo’s eyes perked up. Carefully, he stepped closer as his arms lowered to circle your waist. Meeting the man halfway, you also shifted towards his torso while wrapping an arm around his neck. 

Kylo tentatively pursued, “So...maybe I could be a boyfriend... on probation?” 

“I think I could live with that.”

* * *

The next morning, you woke to a rather odd state of mind. On one hand, you felt peace for the first time in what seemed like ages. On the other hand, you forcibly pushed aside a needly internal voice that whined about the lack of Kylo’s presence in your bed. Moving through your morning routine on auto-pilot, you reminded yourself that this was for the best. 

After tentatively deciding to get back together, Kylo and yourself sat down for some cocoa to really address everything that had transpired. 

It was abundantly clear that the man had been tormented by your separation, and that the breakup had been an act of desperation. You could also see the regret and agony clearly written across his strong features as you relayed the emotional difficulty you faced upon the absence of his presence in your life. 

Kylo had hurled himself across the table to firmly cling onto your hands. He had grandly declared that as long as you’d have him - you’d never be alone again. You’d never want for _anything_ , and that he’d move heaven and earth to ensure your safety and happiness. 

The poor man’s face blanched as you burst into laughter at his melodramatics. Warmly patting the back of his hand, you gave him a soft peck on the cheek and insisted that the grand romantic gestures were completely unnecessary. 

As long as he communicated with you clearly and earnestly, you’d be a happy woman. Besides, you sternly reminded him that the two of you were to operate as a _team_. A duo. A pair. Kylo needed to understand that just as he expected you to rely on him, you expected him to lean on you as well. 

Walking Kylo out to the front door, you pressed a sweet kiss against his lips as you bid the man goodnight. It was almost adorable how the man was clearly disappointed that he wasn’t spending the night. It wasn’t even about the sex. Frankly, he just missed being close to you. But it was for the best. Rebuilding a relationship would take far longer than a night, and you wanted to make sure that your foundation was stronger this time around.

Patting on some lip tint, you moved towards the living room to gather your things. Rose was already there, tucking her mechanic’s jumpsuit into some heavy boots. She caught your eye and bounded over with way too much enthusiasm for the early hour. 

Sidling up to your side she smirked, “So. Last night.” She wagged her eyebrows up and down at you while shimmying her shoulders. You chuckled at the woman’s antics and rolled your eyes. Checking that you had enough SD cards in your camera bag, you simply replied, “I don’t kiss and tell.” 

The last thing you heard before running out the front door to meet Poe was Rose as she shrilly screamed, “So you _did_ kiss?!” 

Stepping out onto the sidewalk, you smiled up at Poe. You wished that you had the man’s natural charisma. Somehow he always looked so damn put together, yet relaxed at the same time. He shifted a messenger bag on his shoulder and laughed, “Was that Rose screaming from your apartment?” 

You rolled your eyes and snorted, “I don’t want to talk about it.” 

Giving you a shrug, Poe proceeded to hail a cab. Thankfully, the rest of your morning went by with little to no drama. The man respectably stayed away from asking you too many questions regarding Kylo. He only gently reminded you that since the merger was going forward, the man would be seen at headquarters more often. 

The day was only interrupted when your phone rang right before lunchtime. Seeing Kylo’s name, you immediately picked up with a grin. 

“Hi sweetie! It’s short notice, but want to grab lunch with me?” 

Cradling the phone against your ear and shoulder, you gathered up some prints and teased, “Sure! No pressure, but it’ll technically be our second first date.” 

“Don’t worry. I’m not planning on disappointing you.” 

You looked up in surprise as Kylo’s voice suddenly seemed rather _surround sound_. Glancing around the room, you gasped when he suddenly snuck up from behind and wrapped both arms around your waist. Giggling into his arm you laughed, “Kylo! What are you doing here? Don’t you think it’s suspicious for us to be cuddling in public right after we spent a month convincing the FBI that we _weren’t_ together?”

He chuckled in response and kissed your temple. “I just finished a meeting with Leia and Poe regarding the merger, so it’s perfectly normal for me to be here. Plus, now that I’ve signed the stipulation that my Resistance shares can’t be sold within five years, I’m sure Cassian could care less who I date.” 

You spun around so you could lace your fingers behind his neck and lifted up on the tips of your toes. Learning forward, you gave Kylo a soft kiss. It was just enough for him to smile into the gesture, but not enough for HR to come running. 

“Alright mister. What’s on the menu for lunch?” 

He gave you a wink and pressed a finger to his lips for a silent shushing motion. Rolling your eyes at his antics, you quickly shut off your computer and tugged your coat off the back of your chair. Walking hand-in-hand with Kylo, your cheeks bloomed red as you caught Leia’s eye while walking past her office. The older woman flashed you a wink, and proceeded to turn back to her computer before you could respond. 

Kylo helped you into his car as you sped towards Manhattan. Twenty minutes later, you were ushered out onto a nondescript street that looked vaguely familiar. 

“Oh. We’re near First Order, aren’t we?” You asked while looking around for some more clues. Kylo only nodded and tugged you down the sidewalk, never letting go of your hand. Turning a final corner, realization dawned upon you as you stood in front of a pizza parlor. It was the first place you had ever shared a meal together. 

He nervously looked between your expression and the restaurant, hoping to suss out some sort of clue regarding how you’d take the location. Unable to hold it in any longer, he began to quickly explain himself. “I know it’s not _nice_ or anything, but I was hoping that it would be symbolic to us starting over. Oh God, this sounds so lame just saying it out loud. You know what, forget it. I’ll call Richard at Tocqueville and we can pretend that this ne...”

Kylo’s words were cut off as you leapt into his arms and attacked him with a deep kiss. Pausing for a moment you whispered into his lips, “This is perfect. Thank you.”

It’s amazing how quickly life could change. In the blink of an eye, everything about yourself and Kylo as individuals and as a couple was turned on its head. You fondly thought about the last time you were here - as a nervous personal assistant. 

You privately smirked to yourself as you thought back to that first conversation. 

_Then why aren’t you a photographer?_ Well, Mr. Ren. Now you were. 

Kylo busied himself with ordering while you got comfortable in the same hidden booth from before. God, you really did miss the man. Even just observing him from behind left you breathless. The thick wool of his coat stretched across the wide planes of his shoulders as he hunched over to pay for the meal. You couldn’t wait to run your fingers through the soft layers of his hair. Even the slight curl at the bottom looked adorable on the man, and left you with an inexplicable desire to muss up the neat locks.

He appeared in front of you with two sodas clutched in his palms. Setting down the drinks, he then slid in to sit next to you on the booth. Draping an arm around your shoulder, he cautiously asked if it was okay. You simply nodded and placed a hand in his lap. Conversation began tentatively at first. Kylo was interested in your current photography projects. The man chomped at pizza as he ate up every nugget of information you offered. He pressed for more details about your goals and plans, and interjected with thoughtful questions and assessments regarding your answers. 

The conversation then shifted towards Kylo, and his own ideas regarding the upcoming merger. He was looking forward to finally finding some balance in life, and hoped that the additional manpower from Resistance would free up his time. He even had a few complimentary things to say about Poe and his management style. It was also doing Kylo’s conscience some good to move his business in a direction that wasn’t so morally ambiguous. 

Little by little, the wall between the two of you came down. By the end of lunch, you were snuggled right up to Kylo’s chest as he absentmindedly toyed with loose strands of your hair. Your head was resting against his body as he cradled you, the man giving you soft kisses in between his sentences. 

When one o’ clock rolled by, he reluctantly drove you back to work. Walking you up to reception, he paused by the stairs for a moment before gathering up the courage to kiss you once again. Brushing his lips against your ear he breathed, “I love you.” 

You kissed him right back and whispered, “I love you, too.”

“Jesus Christ. If I wanted to watch Romeo and Juliet, I would’ve gotten tickets to Finn’s play!” 

Jumping back from Kylo, your skin reddened in embarrassment. Still, Kylo did not release you from his grip as he tugged you back against his chest. Your eyes widened at the sight of Leia staring at the two of you from the top of the stairs. 

Regally walking down, she smirked and tugged you out of Kylo’s grip to loop her arm through your elbow. “Ben, I’m going to need my star photographer back. She is at work after all.”

“Mother! Seriously, you don’t have to...”

“Leia, I’m so sorry! I didn’t...” 

The two of you spoke at the same time, as if you were teenagers caught making out in the back of Kylo’s Honda Civic. A beat of silence passed and Leia burst out into laughter. Patting your arm with her free hand she replied, “I’m just teasing you two! I’m quite happy that you’re back together. It seems as if my dreams of grandchildren aren’t dashed after all!” 

“ _Mother!_ ” 

“But, in all seriousness, we do need our photographer for a meeting in fifteen minutes. So you better scatter, Benjamin!” 

Kylo sighed at his mother’s antics, but relented nonetheless. Pressing a chaste kiss against your cheek, he promised to call you later that night. Bidding his mother farewell, he reluctantly left the offices to head back to work himself. Despite watching the man leave, you were left with a feeling of optimism and serenity.

This time around, you knew that this wasn’t truly goodbye. Because no matter what, Kylo would always make his way back to your side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have I told you guys that you're the best yet? Because you are. You really, truly, are! I totally swooned over the reception from last chapter. I totally agree - time to make up for lost time with lots and lots of gratuitous FLUFF <3


	34. Over the Edge

With the new merger well underway, you had already become accustomed to the tight schedules Poe and Kylo had to keep. It made sense that the new endeavor would severely cut into any time they had once carved away for family dinner or dates. You certainly didn’t fault the men, even if you teased them for scheduling to the _minute_. Seriously, who made appointments at three-thirteen on the dot? 

What you could never have anticipated though, was that your schedule would be squeezed for every second as well. To nobody’s surprise, First Order didn’t exactly have a squeaky clean image when it came to PR. That meant everyone was now scrambling to reinvent the business Forbes once used words like “mafia mentality”, “unorthodox business practices”, and “penchant for threatening with legal action” to describe. 

The poor marketing team had the unfortunate task of drumming up positive press and championing new branding strategies that somehow wouldn’t alienate past, current, or future investors and customers. 

How they were supposed to find common ground between two companies that were basically opposites in everything was beyond your comprehension. You’d have an easier time mixing oil and water.

All you knew was that this shiny new image had to come with many shiny new images. Lugging around ten pounds worth of equipment all over Manhattan had you ready to lose it. Frankly, you were one more “SD Card Full” message away from launching your camera into the Hudson. 

Maybe Kylo was onto something with his partiality for smashing office supplies. 

Shaking the thought out of your head, you practiced a few rudimentary breathing exercises in an attempt to remind yourself that you loved your job. Even if it seemed like your inbox was getting way out of hand, and your hair hadn’t touched water in what felt like days.

Everyone in upper management needed headshots, and seeing that two companies were now becoming one - there seemed to be _a lot_ of upper management. Sure, you could fire off a dozen portraits if you had been doing typical DMV type shots. But no - Poe demanded that everyone’s bios needed feel _warm_. 

So you ended up schlepping your things all over town to capture no less than thirty-three individuals in various “natural” settings. One session even included wrangling two corgis and a parrot into the shot as the head of accounting insisted that her pets were family.

It didn’t stop there. The company needed product photography. Plus event photography as they began a press circuit showcasing their new business model and product range. Then images of their charity work. Pictures for brochures, print and digital ads, cover stories... 

Jumping out of the cab and onto the sidewalk, you heaved a sigh as you dragged your feet in the direction of home. Looking up towards the lit third story window, you saw that even Poe had managed to make it back before you today. 

A hand suddenly grabbing your shoulder caused you to scream as you whirled around in mixed fright and surprise.

“Oh my God, Kylo!”

He leapt back and threw his hands up in the air. “Sorry! Sorry! I wanted to surprise you, but not like that,” he chuckled. You pressed a hand against your chest and laughed while the man stepped forward to pull you into a tight embrace. 

“Hey! Anybody dying down there?” A third voice unexpectedly interrupted. You looked up towards an open window and saw Finn, Poe, and Rose poking their heads out in concern. Waving towards your friends you pointed towards Kylo and rolled your eyes. Rose eyed the two of you with mirth dancing in her eyes as she shouted, “Okay! Please don’t kill my best friend, Kylo! I very much prefer her alive!” 

Before Kylo could even formulate a retort, the petite fireball shoved the two men at her side back into the apartment and slammed the window shut. 

Your boyfriend’s arms were till tightly wound around your waist as he buried his cheek into your neck. Even through the biting chill of the cold wind, you could feel his skin heat in embarrassment. It was easy to forget that Kylo wasn’t used to affection - especially in the form of playful quips. 

After news of the investigation broke, it still took a while for Finn and Rose to come around and accept Kylo’s reemergence in your life. It was the hardest for Rose, and you understood why. After all, the woman had a first row seat to the devastation you endured through the breakup. Each step of the way she held you in her arms, dried your tears, brought you food when you couldn’t leave your room for days, and cooed you to sleep when the nightmares kept you up. 

But once she forgave Kylo, she fiercely delivered platonic love in the only way your best friend knew how - constant teasing and mischievous snark. 

“Remind me of why I like Rose, again?” Kylo groaned into your neck. Laughing at his whining, you pulled him tighter against your body - half to steal his warmth, and half just to be closer to the man. “Because you love me, and that means that you love my friends. Plus, they’re your friends now, too!” 

Kylo pulled away and looked surprised at your statement. Looking up at his confusion you rolled your eyes. “Seriously, Kylo? After everything you went through with Poe, how could you _not_ be friends? Didn’t Finn invite you to that Yankees game? And Rose is always shoving homemade scones into your hands before you go home at night.” 

“Oh,” Kylo lamely replied, “I thought they were just being polite.”

“Polite is Rose not poisoning your coffee during brunch.” You joked while applying liberal air quotes around the word “polite”.

“Huh.” 

Flattening both palms against his cheeks, you pushed the soft flesh together and giggled. “I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. You’re worthy of being loved. Even by others who _aren’t_ your girlfriend. Anyways, what brings you into Queens?” 

Kylo slipped his arms down to hold youR hand before walking towards the front door. He spoke while you fiddled with your keys to let him into the warm home. “I heard you’ve been having a tough time with your new workload and I was...”

He paused while the both of you toed your shoes off and padded into the empty living room. It seemed like Rose was staying upstairs with the boys. “You were what, Kylo?” you kindly inquired while setting off to make some herbal tea. 

“...I was worried that you weren’t taking care of yourself. Not that you need me to take care of you! But I know how focused you can get, and I was just concerned that...” 

You cut the man off with a passionate kiss and sighed into his lips. You hated how nervous Kylo had become around you. His usual self-assured and confident nature seemed to have been pushed aside for one that was much more skittish and tense. Pressing your forehead against his cheek you murmured, “It’s okay! Thank you...for all the different ways you love me. I appreciate it.” 

The sound of the doorbell ringing interrupted the hug. Kylo signaled that he’d get the door as you busied yourself with pouring hot water into two waiting mugs and carrying them to the dining room. 

The man returned struggling with several plastic and paper bags. He set the paper bags in the kitchen while the plastic ones were brought to meet you at the table. “I hope this isn’t being too forward, but I took the liberty of buying this week’s groceries for you,” Kylo shyly spoke.

“Oh, that’s so nice of you! Of course I don’t mind...” your voice trailed off as the scent of warm butter and bread wafted into the small space, causing your mouth to water in anticipation. Tray after tray of food materialized onto the table as Kylo appeared by your side and neatly set out dinner. 

Freshly baked rolls were paired with rich olive oil and balsamic vinegar. Hand-rolled spaghetti and meatballs were joined with a place of fat ravioli smothered in butternut squash sauce. There was also freshly fried calamari and a healthy side of green beans with lemon and capers. It seemed as if the takeout bag was bottomless as Kylo also pulled out tiramisu and several cannolis. 

Satisfied with the final spread, Kylo sank down into his seat with a grin. His eyebrows raised in amusement and surprise as you crawled into his lap. Looping your arms around his neck you smothered your boyfriend in kisses until he leaned back with a deep chuckle. 

“What’s that for?” 

“To say thanks. That I love you. You’re important to me. Take your pick.” 

He flushed in pleasure at the words of love and returned with some kisses of his own. Breaking away, he leaned forward to rip a piece of bread off from a nearby roll. Dipping the spongey piece into olive oil, he gently fed you with a grin on his face. He was about to move in for another kiss, when your stomach rumbled in protest. 

Breaking away with laughter, you slipped out of his lap and settled into your own seat next to him. Tapping his nose with your index finger you teased, “Alright, cuddling later. First, we eat!” 

Kylo didn’t know how he got so lucky. He hated living like he was constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop, though. He’d never really considered himself likable, so to have someone unconditionally love him felt foreign, and quite frankly, terrifying. To have you forgive the man so quickly seemed far too good to be true. 

Still, he shook off the negative thoughts and willed himself to focus on the present. And in this moment, you were moaning as cream and ricotta exploded against your tongue. Smiling at the sight of his girlfriend completely unfiltered and relaxed, Kylo dug into his own plate with gusto. 

The two of your engaged in typical couple banter, starting with who did what during the day. Kylo guiltily admitted to losing it in front of an intern ,while you softly encouraged him to continue his breathing exercises. You talked about an upcoming campaign you were actually excited to shoot, and Kylo cheered you on with reassurances and genuine interest as you tossed a few concepts back and forth. 

You continued to chat until the last cannoli disappeared into your stomach, and the weight of the day finally made its presence known through drooping eyelids and stifled yawns. Packing trash back into the plastic bags he commanded, “Come on. It’s off to bed for you. I’ll clean up.”

Stopping the man with a tug to the wrist, you mumbled, “We can clean up later. Why don’t you join me in bed?”

Kylo looked shocked at the request. Since getting back together, the two of you hadn’t become intimate besides kissing, general hand holding, and hugs. He couldn’t bring himself to ask for more, even if it was just spending the night without any additional physical contact. As much as it pained him to keep his distance, part of him felt guilty for wanting more - as if he had no right. 

“Oh, uhm. It’s perfectly fine! It’s no problem, I can clean up here and let myself out. You should get some rest. I mean, you had a long day, and really I shouldn’t have showed up without first telling...”

“Kylo,” you softly interjected. Standing to pull him into a warm embrace you murmured into his chest, “I’ve already forgiven you. Don’t you think it’s time you forgave yourself?”

He seemed genuinely taken aback by your softness. Looking into the pools of your eyes, he saw nothing but warmth and love. Smiling into the top of your head, he buried himself into your hair and sighed. 

“I’m sorry.” 

Running your hands up and down his back you hummed, “I know.” Pulling away from him, you slipped your hand into his own and pulled him towards the bedroom. This time, Kylo followed without protest. He remained silent as you slowly tugged your blouse up over your head, only releasing a sharp breath of air as your trousers slid down your legs. 

His gazed remained unwavering as your hands deftly moved to unbutton his dress shirt. Pulling the soft cotton away from his chest, you hummed in pleasure at the sight of his muscled torso. His palms came up to rest at your bare hips as you worked at his bottoms next. 

Slowly, you came together. Flesh against flesh, you felt fire in your veins as passion reignited. Kylo was _yours_ , and he was finally ready to show you just what that meant. 

Falling into bed, you moaned at the weight of your boyfriend bearing down upon your own body. How long had you been left untouched? Unfulfilled? Just as you needed to hear the words “I love you”, your body craved the physical manifestation of that love. 

You needed to _feel_ his unrelenting devotion. To worship you inside and out. 

As he pressed languid kisses against your collarbone, you thought about the journey the two of you had taken together. 

As his hands pulled your thighs apart, you shook at the promises he murmured against your skin.

As Kylo slowly pushed into your aching core, you moaned at the prospect of the future.

And as the two of you broke and came apart together, you sighed in relief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my God, has it really been three weeks since I updated?! I'm so sorry that this has taken forever! I swear I haven't forgotten this fic. Life has just caught up with me, and I've been working on my other two WIP as well. Thank you so much for your patience <3


	35. From, Kylo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter from Kylo's perspective.

Learning to forgive oneself is never an easy feat, but the moment Kylo learned to leave his baggage where it belonged, he lived and loved with a renewed fervor once unbeknownst to the man. The task was arduous, but made bearable by the the love of his life accompanying him every step of the way. He would forever be in debt to her unyielding patience and compassion.

The fact that she never made it a _thing_ just made Kylo fall in love her more. She simply operated as if generosity and kindness was a given. So ingrained into her nature, it wasn’t something she seemed to think twice about. He had always been relaxed around his girlfriend, but her authenticity and support allowed him to gradually let his guard down around others as well.

Like any great change in one’s life, it began with the tiniest of tremors. A small ripple that gradually grew into a tsunami. Kylo was tentatively included into the fold of his girlfriend’s life as everyone learned to get along. Although he was no longer public enemy number one to her little trio of pals, they still found ways to get underneath his skin. But now the little jests and teases were done out of love, and not spite.

Kylo was initially taken aback, but slowly figured that this was akin to having siblings. His girlfriend calmly reminded him that friends joke around, and he shouldn’t take the whoopee cushion Finn left in his seat personally. 

Because last week Finn had sent a pizza to Poe’s work from “Ana L. Beads”. 

Slowly, things reached an equilibrium and Kylo learned to roll with the punches. He even found himself enjoying everyone’s company and forging true friendships with Finn, Poe, and Rose. Although he was initially self-conscious of intruding upon his girlfriend’s weekly potlucks with the gang, he relaxed when Rose kindly reminded him that they were called “family potluck”.

And he was family. 

Kylo also learned that while Finn was quick to forgive, the man was even quicker to love if food were involved. Kylo was a masterful chef, and found that he actually looked forward to the meals. Not only did it give him an excuse to try out new recipes, but it was the perfect reason to spend more time with his girlfriend. Kylo thoroughly enjoyed sharing his passions with her, and liked taking on the role of teacher.

His large palm would wrap around her tiny hands as he stood from behind. Slowly guiding their hands up and down, he’d instruct her on proper cutting methods. Kylo didn’t even mind the days when she were too exhausted to help. He was more than happy to cook dinner with her perched on the island. Long legs swinging back and forth - well, that wasn’t such a terrible view. 

Besides, he quite liked hand feeding his girlfriend bits and pieces of food. The way her supple lips wrapped around his fingers was downright sinful, and he was willing to go to hell for more of that touch.

Surrounded with a circle of newfound friends and affection, Kylo soon felt confident enough bridge the gap between others in his life. Starting with his mother, he tentatively pursued a closer relationship with the aging woman. Leia, in her wisdom and love, was ever patient and never pushed Kylo. Leia had spent most of her adult life waiting for her son to come back. She didn’t mind waiting just a little bit longer for him to be comfortable enough to open up.

It certainly helped that Leia adored his girlfriend. The trio made a point of having bi-weekly brunches. The three of them instated a “no work talk” rule, which forced Kylo to finally relax into the role of being a son. He felt his ears pink whenever his girlfriend left to use the restroom. Leia would take the opportunity and carefully press Kylo for his future plans, not so subtly hinting that she was getting older, and would be an excellent grandparent. 

Even Luke made an appearance in the man’s life. The pair still didn’t see eye to eye on everything, but Kylo appreciated that the man could finally let the past die. Whenever his uncle would pop up during a random brunch or dinner, Kylo found that he didn’t mind so much. 

Finally, finally, he felt sound enough to tackle the last piece of anguish within his sordid history. Hand-in-hand with the one he loved, he walked up a small grassy knoll. 

Even in his death, the man refused any pretentiousness and insisted on a working man’s grave. 

Standing in front of a single granite stone pushed into the dirt, Kylo whispered, “Hey, Han. I’d like you to meet my girlfriend. I think you would have loved her as much as I do.”

That night as he held his girlfriend in his arms, his heart stuttered as she murmured, “Goodnight, Kylo.” 

Squeezing around her waist just a little bit tighter, he held his breath. After all that he had been through...that _they_ had been through...the name sounded mangled and wrong coming out of her lips. Kylo closed his eyes and wrestled with one last decision. A single tie between himself and every mistake he made. Seven letters that spelt betrayal, inadequacy, and unrelenting pain.

Nuzzling deeply into his girlfriend’s neck he whispered, “Ben. Please call me Ben.” 

His heart felt a million tons lighter as she sleepily responded, “Goodnight, Ben. I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS, this is IT. I've _finally_ finished writing the entire fic, and it's so so so bittersweet to have it come to an end. The rest of the chapters are going to be shorter. I decided to break things up for flow, since some time jumps between each chapter. 
> 
> Get ready for some tooth-rotting fluff and cuteness, because I believe in happy happy happily ever after <3


	36. A Thief Dragging His Feet

“It’s the end of an era,” Rose cried into the barren room, her voice bouncing off empty walls and blank tile. The spitfire was clutching onto an empty bottle of wine as she flung her arms around your neck. You laughed and hugged her right back. “It’s not the end. It’s the start of a something new,” you cooed into her hair. She huffed regardless and tightened her grip. 

In a few short moments, Ben was arriving alongside Finn and Poe to help move your things into a rented truck. Looking around the room, you felt bittersweet joy. This had been your home. A space that housed too many memories to count. But now your home was with Ben, and it was time to take the next step into your future together. 

You stifled a giggle as Rose stuffed some towels into a box clearly labeled “photography stuff”. Packing up the place while tipsy probably wasn’t wise, but it was the only way you and your best friend could handle the impending departure. Even if Paige was coming in to take your place in the home, Rose was still reluctant to see you go. 

“Who will watch _Gilmore Girls_ reruns with me? Who else will I make plans to go out drinking with, only to end up staying in while having a Cheeto eating contest? Who?!” she cried. 

Walking up to the woman, you wrapped your arm around her shoulder. Giving her little pats you soothed, “I will, Rose. I always will. Just because I’m not living here, doesn’t mean we stop being friends. I promise that I’ll always be available. We’ll still do our weekly girls’ night, and I’m always just a call or text away. You _know_ that I love you.” 

She sniffled and nodded before returning to shoving things into the wrong boxes. The telltale creak of the front door swinging open caught your attention, and you went to meet Ben in the living room. You’d never tire of seeing the man in casual clothes. A thin black t-shirt clung to his muscles while a pair of dark washed denim hung dangerously low on his hips. Something about the elastic of his boxer briefs peeking over the waistband would always send your heart rate thumping. 

The outfit seemed befitting anyways. Kylo Ren was a singular pillar of stoicism and hard edges. Kylo Ren had no time for sentimental attachment and was famous for ruthless and cunning business practices. Kylo Ren enjoyed yelling at people, lived in solitude, and was always so damn _angry_.

Benjamin Solo, on the other hand, was a casual sort of guy. Even though he was still a CEO, Ben’s edges softened, allowing him to forge meaningful relationships with his employees. He was now respected for being a true leader, not feared for lashing out against his underlings. Benjamin Solo came home to a loving girlfriend, spent weekends with friends, and had a supportive family. Benjamin Solo wore _jeans_ to work. Even if they were six hundred dollar designer pieces, they were still technically denim.

You laughed at the memory of the first time Poe and Finn saw Ben out of his suit at work. The shorter man feigning confusion while Finn pretended to introduce himself for the first time. They kept the act up for well over ten minutes before Ben grunted in frustration and fled from the room with red-tipped ears. Even watching through the conference room window, you could hear the mischievous duo guffawing in tandem.

Laughter drew your attention back to the bedroom where you found Finn and Poe watching Rose’s antics. She was attempting to tug a cardboard box back from Poe’s arms while protesting, “She’s _my_ best friend! Ben's _stealing_ her!” 

Ben came in behind and bit back a grin as Rose let go of the box, sending Poe stumbling back a few paces. She stalked right up to your boyfriend and pressed a finger into his chest. “Thief!” Rose shouted into the room. Although the woman was yelling, there was no malice in her words. Eyes shining from unshed tears, Rose truly loved her best friend. 

You knew that Rose wouldn’t actually try and keep you from moving in with Ben. The woman was simply sentimental. You had been through so much as best friends and roommates, and now your relationship was evolving to the next chapter of your lives. 

Ben lowered his head so he was more level with the pouting woman. A smirk played at his lips as he whispered conspiratorially, “Rose, would you feel more comfortable letting your best friend come live with me if I promised to take very good care of her?” 

She thought it over and gave him a reluctant nod.

“And what if I told you that I love her very, very much? More than I have ever loved in the entirety of my life?” 

“I guess so,” Rose huffed. 

Now Ben was fully grinning. “And what if I promised to not keep her all to myself? I heard that you guys were planning a girl’s night in to celebrate the big move? I’ll even pay for dinner and wine. My treat.” At that, Rose threw her arms around Ben for a bear hug. “I wouldn’t trust anyone else to take care of my best friend,” she exclaimed with joy. 

Several hours later, you were finally alone with Ben. The two of you were flopped on the living room floor, heads together and legs splayed in opposite directions. Boxes were scattering around your bodies in various states of disarray. It was stressful, messy, and _home_. 

Ben’s gleeful expression at your things already getting mixed into his own definitely didn’t go unnoticed. His hand reached out in search of your own, and you hummed in pleasure as he threaded his fingers into yours. 

Fingers still interlocked, Ben ran his thumb in tight circles over your palm. Closing your eyes, you sighed at the touch. Despite all odds, the two of you had finally made it.

* * *

“Ben.” 

“Mother.”

“Ben.”

“Mother.”

“ _Benjamin_.”

Ben huffed and crossed his arms. He may be in his thirties, but that wasn’t going to prevent the man from rolling his eyes. There was a lot of lost time to be made up. Time he could have spent being a petulant son talking back to his mother. She rolled her eyes right back and sighed, “You’re dragging your feet." 

“I’m not!” Benjamin flinched. Even to his own ears he sounded a tad bit whiny. 

The two of them were in Leia’s office under the guise of going over this quarter’s numbers. Ben should have known better. His P.A. had mysteriously cleared his schedule, and his mother had that glint in her eyes. She always had the same look when she was up to something. It was the same look she had when she tricked her ten-year-old son into attending a tap dancing lesson. A single lesson that somehow turned into a full-blown recital. 

Sequins included.

“She’s not going to say ‘no’,” Leia smoothly slid in while stirring some creamer into her coffee. Ben hunched over in his seat like a child reprimanded. It had been four months since you moved in. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to settle down. Ben was just lacking in confidence. 

No matter what you told him, he still felt this illogical desire to redeem himself before he felt worthy of calling himself a husband. 

Leia continued, “For God’s sake, she’s your emergency contact. Even _I’m_ not your emergency contact.”

Ben was running out of excuses. Deep down he knew that when it came to love, there was no competition. There would never be a way to measure the depth of your affections, and to keep score was completely unfair. He knew that you just loved wholly and selflessly - there was never a question of how much. 

Leia wore a smug look as she quietly sipped on coffee while watching understanding and acceptance cross her son’s features. Setting the mug down, she casually added, “According to her schedule, she just wrapped up a shoot. I heard that she’s heading over to her friend Rose’s to drop something off.”

Ben immediately sprang up from his seat and ran out the door. Leia merely sipped on her coffee with a sly grin on her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who doesn't like themselves a bit of a meddling Leia? She totally seems to be the type of roll her eyes right back at her son, wouldn't you say? 
> 
> Guys, I still can't believe that this is ending in two chapters. I wish I could start a group hug with you all because I need it :(


	37. A Perfect Fit

You were not in the mood. Not even close. Stomping down the street, you mentally repeated a lukewarm mantra of “I love my job” over the sound of loud music blasting through your earphones. It wasn’t a lie - you truly did enjoy your work. What you didn’t enjoy was having to handle not one, but _five_ babies for your latest shoot. The campaign was something related to children’s health. While you had no problem with kids, you certainly had a problem with several babies spitting up on you in between takes. 

Who would have thought that a simple photographer would have reflexes that could rival a superhero? You were sure that the speed in which you whipped your lens away from baby vomit would make the Flash jealous. 

Thankfully, Leia texted that there would be no need to return to the office. So, you traded your dirtied blouse for one of Kylo’s shirts that somehow ended up in the bottom of your oversized camera bag. The top hung way too loosely over your frame, but you made it work by tying a tight knot at the hem. 

Blowing a piece of sticky hair out of your eyes, you couldn’t wait to finally hit the shower. It would be nice to wipe the grime and sweat off - remnants from the outdoor shoot. Because if wrangling babies wasn’t tough enough, why not do so in Central Park? Too bad it would still be at least an hour before you could sink into hot water. 

A few of Rose’s things had gotten mixed into your boxes. Although you had seen each other plenty of times since the big move, one or the other always forgot to grab the forgotten items. In a fit of sudden inspirational cleaning, you decided to be responsible and finally return her lost items. 

You turned the corner and felt relief that you were finally on the home stretch. Checking the time on your phone, you smiled. It was only two in the afternoon, which meant you could finish your errands, clean up, and still have time to cook Ben dinner. Although you typically cooked together, you knew that he appreciated little breaks where his girlfriend treated him.

It was nice sharing a home and life with Ben. The two of you settled into domestic bliss quite easily - as if you had always meant to be together and the universe was finally at peace. Of course, you guiltily wished that things could be a little more _official_ , but it wouldn’t be fair to rush Kylo. He’d come around when he was ready, you were sure of it. 

If marriage was in the cards, you wanted Ben to ask because he was ready. Not because you pressured him into anything. You were more than happy to just be his girlfriend if that was all he could handle. 

Lost in thought, you were suddenly jolted by a stranger grabbing onto your arm. Tearing your earphones out in shock, you flinched in surprise. The kind woman’s eyes crinkled in amusement as she pointed behind you. 

Pedestrians were parting like the red sea for a crazed looking Ben as he barreled down the sidewalk. The man had been shouting your name, only for his voice to fall upon deaf ears as the musical renditions of one Taylor Swift covered any external sounds. 

By the time he reached you, he was huffing and puffing with strained breath. Sweat slicked against his forehead, and clung onto his long black locks. Seeing Ben in such disarray would normally cause concern, but the man looked more excited than panicked. 

Silently waiting, you eyes suddenly widened in shock and disbelief. 

Right between 29th and Astoria, Benjamin Solo dropped to a single knee. Fumbling with his back pocket, he pulled out an antique ring box and flipped the lid open. Nestled in faded velvet was the most beautiful ring you had ever seen. 

Although his hands trembled, Ben’s voice was unwavering. 

“I... I didn’t really prepare a speech. I just know that for every moment of every day, I want to be by your side. I want to chase sunsets and sunrises as your husband, and grow a family with you. I cannot imagine a life in which I cannot have the privilege of calling you my wife. Please, will you marry me?” 

Ben’s eyes were damp, matching the tears now cascading down your cheeks. One hand clasped over your mouth, you gave him a shaky nod. 

“Yes? Is that a yes?” Ben asked, eyes bright and hopeful. 

Removing your hand, you shouted, “Yes, you big ol’ goof! Of course I’ll marry you!” 

Ben jumped up and threw himself at you. Lifting you up into the air, he pressed a passionate kiss into your lips as the man swung you in a circle. Whoops and congratulations sounded from the bystanders who had stopped to watch the exchange. 

He grinned and slipped the ring onto your finger. 

It was a perfect fit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SEE WHAT I DID THERE? 
> 
> I had always intended for Kylo/Ben to propose between 29th & Astoria. The cross streets are actually quite special to me IRL, even though I no longer live in Queens. Plus, as _extra_ as Kylo seems, I felt like Ben would be motivated by his emotions and do something more rash and less extravagant. I thought that the proposal should be less of a "thing" and more about the fact that he just wanted to marry her. Plain and simple. 
> 
> Anyways, just one more chapter left. Can you believe it? I sure can't. As always, your comments are so appreciated and I've loved every moment of writing this fic <3


	38. Nothing Truer

“Honey, you really shouldn’t be moving that!” Ben’s worried voice cut into the room. You were standing in the foyer of your home balancing a box against your hip. One hand cradled the cardboard while the other was lovingly holding onto a picture frame that was on its way into storage. 

It was an elegant sterling silver frame Ben had picked up from Tiffany’s on a whim. A date set two years back was elegantly engraved into the corner. The photograph was one that always brought a smile to your face. Ben was casual but still dapper in slacks, a crisp white button up, and navy vest. You were perched on his back for a piggyback ride. One had was clutching onto a bouquet and lifted in the air while the other was slung around Ben’s shoulders. 

The two of you were looking at each other with ear-to-ear grins. You remembered that moment fondly, especially since Ben had trouble untangling himself from the all of the white fabric after the photograph was taken. 

It was your wedding day. 

After all of the drama that transpired, the two of you wanted nothing more than just a simple ceremony. Although Leia protested in the beginning, eyes clouded with dreams of banquet halls and excessive decorations for the daughter she always wanted, she finally relented in the end. Still, you were wrangled into a crisp white dress that was nothing but layers and beading. 

You giggled at the memory of Paige slurring that Ben liked “flouncy princess shit”. She certainly hadn’t lied. Even though your ceremony was casual, Ben just about threw a fit when you mused over the idea of not wearing a wedding dress at all. “He’s worse than me,” Leia groused as she rolled her eyes at her son. She jokingly complained that Ben spent more time combing through wedding catalogues online than he did with their quarterly financial statements.

You were married atop the Highline in a simple ceremony. With only close friends and family present, it was everything that you had dreamed of. Holding onto Ben’s hands, you were wed by Luke over a view of the setting sun dipping down below the Manhattan skyline. 

As Ben pressed his lips to yours, your eyes watered in response. You didn’t think that your completeness in Ben could have felt more, well, _complete_. He continued to murmur words of adoration into your skin, completely lost to the moment. The man only stopped, cheeks burning red in embarrassment, when Luke conspicuously cleared his throat.

Two years later, you were now wrapping up yet another chapter of your lives. Slipping the frame into the box, you huffed as Ben nervously snatched it out of your hands. “Really! You’re going to give me a heart attack,” he grumbled. Your eyes crinkled in amusement as your freed hands came to rest at your rounded belly. 

“Come on, Ben. I’m pregnant, not a cripple,” you laughed. Ben didn’t find it funny at all, and dropped the box to the floor. Placing his hands over yours, he bent down to give your tummy a quick kiss. 

“I just want to make sure my girls are safe.” 

You knew better than argue with the man. The moment that test came back positive, he trailed after you like a concerned puppy until you just about lost it one night. Sitting the man down, you had patiently explained to him that you were seven _weeks_ pregnant, not seven _months_ , and for the love of God you could still tie your own shoelaces. 

But now you were actually seven months pregnant, and in the middle of moving to a new home out in the suburbs. Somewhere with a backyard your little one could play. A place you could finally plant your roots and start a family.

Benjamin Solo had never been more ready for anything in his entire life. You watched in amusement as the man poured over every parenting book he could get his hands on. He questioned Leia on baby care like a host on NPR interviewing a Nobel laureate. He meticulously combed through parenting websites and compiled lists and comparison charts for the perfect crib. The perfect bottle warmer. The perfect _everything_. 

Every night he’d happily share the results of his findings while massaging your sore feet. You loved your little modern day hunter gatherer. It was kind of sexy in a way. Even if Poe and Finn held separate interventions and practically begged you to reel your husband in. Apparently Ben had sent a company-wide survey to every parent in the office on preferred daycares. He also may or may not have marked the e-mail as “mandatory” with a few not-so-veiled threats towards those who didn’t participate.

“I can’t believe that this is finally happening,” you happily sighed as Ben wrapped you in his arms for a hug. He pressed you as close to his chest as he could, relishing in the pressure of your baby bump resting against his stomach. 

“I can,” he quietly murmured into the top of your head. “Even in the darkest times, I think I always knew that you were my future. That, for me, there was no other way to live.”

You pressed up on your toes to give him a deep kiss. Losing yourself to his selfless outpouring of love, you sighed in contentment. 

Nothing had ever felt truer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's a wrap! I just want to share my sincere and heartfelt thanks to everyone who joined me for this ride. Every comment was cherished by me, and I truly enjoyed getting to chat with so many new people. To be able to share my writing and thoughts with an audience has truly, and wholly, been magical for me. 
> 
> If you enjoy my writing style, please feel free to check out my other work! I have a few new works in progress right now. 
> 
> As always, I'm sending everyone SO much love. Thank you, thank you, thank you. <3


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